Off to see the lizard
Back before too long!
Baron von Tollbooth
F-35 costs rise $1.25 billion, MacKay forgets to add GST
Peter MacKay maintains he’s acted “always withan eye to providing the men and women in uniform with the best equipment that we can possibly get.”
People are jumping to conclusions that we’re stupid, MP says
Defenders say MP Dean Del Mastro’s performance on CBC-TV could be due to medication
UN urges Canada to allow North Korea and Congo to monitor next election
Congolese security ensures order and access at polling station. Experts recommend similar strictmeasures in Canada to limit election irregularites.
Prime Minister’s Nuts are in a Vise over Voter Suppression Scandal, MP says
OTTAWA – The Prime Minister’s nutsac is being squeezed in an ever-tightening vise, an NDP member said Sunday afternoon. It was revealed that as many as 34 ridings could be…
Montréal man calls Vic Toews a "lying sack of shit"
MONTREAL – After watching a televised interview with Public Safety Minister Vic Toews, a Montréal area millwright called the MP a “lying sack of shit”. In a response from the…
Vic Toews A-OK with torture interrogation
The government has directed Canada’s spy agency to use information that may have been extracted through torture. Public Safety Minister Vic Toews has told CSIS the government now expects the…
Conservative MP wants ruling on definitions of "human being" and "asshat"
OTTAWA – A Conservative Party backbencher has introduced a private member’s seeking a study on whether fetuses are “human beings” under Canadian law. The MP also wants to study and…
John Baird: Nazis were bad guys
TEL AVIV – Canadian Minister of Foreign Affairs John Baird implied in a speech that Nazis weren’t the great guys some people made them out to be. Mr. Baird claimed…
Prime Minister announces new naval base for London, Ontario
LONDON – Taking the sting out of the recent closure of the Electromotive plant, the Prime Minister announced Friday that London will be the site of the Navy’s new headquarters…
Councillor Doug Ford to probe anus of TTC
With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, Toronto City Councillor Doug Ford wants to give the TTC “a complete enema” . Whether the TTC would be a willing partner to such a…
Peter MacKay marries singer Madonna
Federal Minister of Defence married American singer and actress Madonna Ciccone in a quiet ceremony over the New Year’s weekend. After a whirlwind and clandestine courtship, the couple tied the…
Prime Minister gets his ass sued
OTTAWA – Former federal cabinet minister Helena Guergis is suing Prime Minister Cowboy Steve, the Conservative party, and several of their lackeys for her 2010 ejection from caucus over allegations…
Peter MacKay named to Mile High Club
Air Canada has awarded the jet-setting Minister of Defence membership in the prestigious ‘Mile High Club’. A staffer said the department was proud that the Minister received the honour from…
Peter MacKay’s critics say $1450 excessive for hookers
OTTAWA – Critics of Peter MacKay charged that the Defence Minister’s expenses at an overseas security conference in 2010 were out of line. Canadian Taxpayers’ Association spokesman Barney McMillan of…
Peter Kent denies being a "piece of shit"
OTTAWA – Minister of the Environment Peter Kent emphatically denied being a “piece of shit” today during Question Period in the House of Commons. MP Justin Trudeau referred to the…
Prime Minister pulls out of Kyoto, treaty feels emotionally frustrated
OTTAWA – Reading from a teleprompter, Minister of the Environment Peter Kent announced that the Prime Minister is pulling out of Kyoto. Former meat puppet Kent added that Canada would…
MP Peter Goldring refuses to blow, job in jeopardy
The Prime Minister’s Office has confirmed Edmonton MP Peter Goldring has voluntarily withdrawn from caucus after the MP for Edmonton East was charged with refusing to take a breathalyzer test…
Aide: Prime Minister’s hairpiece made in China
OTTAWA – A former aide to Prime Minister Cowboy Steve said today that the leader’s hairpiece was made in China. The PMO staffer, who left the government in July, also…