damned freaks in the alley…, a photo by IntangibleArts on Flickr. tautologies After a certain point, the previous night was all a blur. He’d started the usual way: he burst through the door, landing on the nearest (and fattest) person, introduced himself, and then sang the song. (He’d paid the Sherman Brothers a fortune for […]
Continue readingTag: Parody & Satire
The Skwib: Socially Dysfunctional
socially dysfunctional, a photo by lunchbreath on Flickr.
Love this infotoon, and is a useful addition to the came: “crazy person or bluetooth user?”
Alltop is the homeless lunatic of humor aggregators.
The Skwib: Worth the risk
Pathetic phallacy, a photo by Miss Aniela on Flickr.
Love the quote on the photo’s page (link above):
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
–Timothy Leary
Alltop thinks they’ve spelled fallacy wrong.
The Skwib: Career Day for Jim
School was lame. Adults were lame. Life, itself, was a series of lame events. None more so than Career Day. These were the thoughts of Jim as he walked into the gymnasium for the Beaverbrook High career day. At least he didn’t have to sit through the tedium and ennui of Mr. Leekie’s calculus class, […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Pirate Therapy
Laurence arrived a few minutes late for his regular Thursday morning session, but his therapist usually ran late, so he wasn’t worried. From behind the door of his therapist’s office, he heard a blood-curdling scream, and then a thump. A door opened somewhere, and Laurence heard a strange sound, almost as though something heavy was […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Damn you brain!
Alltop never did anything wrong.
Continue readingThe Skwib: Gather round the radium fire
This is an illustration of what the future might have looked like, circa 1910: The artist has depicted a genteel scene: Claude and Sophie LaFlippé have invited a few friends over to enjoy their brand new radium fire. (It was to be all the rage in the year 2000, according to the deranged artist, Antoine […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Taking one for the team
It seemed unlikely that Janet was an “anthrax tester” for the Department of Defense, as she claimed. It just didn’t seem possible that she could snort a gram of weaponized splenic fever each and every hour for weeks on end and not show any effects. (Apart from the tremors, vertigo, muscle twitches & paranoia.) For […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Stiff Upper, and So Forth
“I have London on the line, sir.” “What do they want?” “They’re asking about the penguins.” “The penguins?” “Yes, remember, penguins is the codeword . . .” “For what?!” “You know, sir, the uh, devices . . . the prophylactics. . .” “The prophylactics?! What the hell is that supposed to be?” “Oh, sir, please. […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Somewhere in the Heartland
The economic downturn and subsequent collapse of civilized society was not welcome by most people. But for the Pesquahoddy Mustard Gas and Swine Flu Enthusiast’s Club, the collapse had been a panacea. Membership was way up, and their annual soiree, the much-anticipated Gas Masquerade actually turned a profit this year! Membership in The MonkeySphere is […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Beach Babes of Vision
Misunderstood Genius Greta “The Fallopian” Webcastico was ahead of her time. Not only was she the finest beach accordionist in the tri-state area, Greta was the first composer to create music designed to be played in counterpoint to the dulcet tones of molting seagulls eager to eat your French Fries. The truth was, Greta was […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Toulouse Le Grandfig: Catholic school
Jeremy went to a Catholic school, where Sister Mary Trenchbroom taught Civics and Personal Hygiene.
It’s fair to say it scarred him for life.
Alltop has also destroyed many lives. Originally published November, 2008.
The Skwib: Reassuring Fictions
In times like these, you may believe that all is well. You may enjoy watching the Olympics, eating spam, or perhaps you have many Norwegian friends. You may have the feeling that we live in the best of possible worlds. Given the possibilities, the vagaries of quantum mechanics, perhaps, you think to yourself, everything is […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: René Magritte: Merchant Banker Masters His Mental Powers at Walton-on-the-Naze
While an art historian will tell you this 1964 painting is called “The Son of Man”, and is meant to be a meditation on what is hidden in the visible world, they are of course, hiding the dreadful truth. Since the early days of the 20th century, Britain’s merchant bankers have controlled the world economy […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Smurf-cutters
Lesley Pratt was a freakin’ evil advertising genius. In his quest to sell soap, he’d turned the shock value of bombing smurfs into a marketer’s wet dream. He’d even coined a term for the new form of advertising: aggressive suasion. (Though they were known as “smurf-cutters” to the Madison Avenue crowd.) And in the course […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: False nostalgia
Summer time is nostalgia time!
Alltop is nostalgic about tomorrow!
The Skwib: Dobby Lives, and he’s Harry Potter’s friend!
You know, I always thought that Dobby was an annoyingly needy elf-turd, but he certainly didn’t deserve to die for it.
Alltop thinks this is vaguely familiar. Originally published in March, 2011.
The Skwib: Skin harvesting on a pretty blue planet
G’lak T’ung really thought the humans were disgusting, ever since he’d been on the expedition that surveyed the pretty blue planet they inhabited. And he certainly couldn’t imagine why so many on the Thringian home world would want to wear things made out of their skin. But they did. Belts, mandible covers, and this year, […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Glory vs. Effort
Hmm . . . this seems depressingly accurate.
Alltop is all glory, man. You could even say it’s a hole full of it! a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/lunchbreath/5956858216/”>glory v. effort, a photo by lunchbreath on Flickr.
The Skwib: The Labour Party’s response to Margaret Thatcher
Actual footage (was used in this bit.)
Alltop is all actual footage.