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Continue readingTag: Parody & Satire
mark a rayner: An Open Letter to Boris Johnson’s Hair
Dear Boris Johnson’s Hair, It’s really not going very well, is it? But it’s not your fault. It really isn’t. In the history of British… Continue ReadingAn Open Letter to Boris Johnson’s Hair The post An Open Letter to Boris Johnson’s Hair appeared first on mark a rayner.
Continue readingmark a rayner: Listicle: Ernest Hemingway’s 5 Surprisingly Easy Rules for Writing
Kill adjectivesMurder your darlingsSlaughter long sentencesExterminate repetitionWhiskey, but only after slaking your bloodlust writing
Continue readingmark a rayner: Rejected Halloween-Themed Cereals
After the success of Count Chocula, Boo-berry and Frankenberry, cereal executives everywhere were on the look out for new Halloween-themed cereals. Alas, these never made it to market, though the last entry did make it to the packaging design phase. (This happens BEFORE taste testing, I should note.) 10. Candy
Continue readingmark a rayner: Excruciating Album Cover Art — Mr. Bat Sings
“Can’t sleep, clown will eat me.” –Bart Simpson I always used to think one of the silliest phobias was coulrophobia — the fear of clowns — until I saw this album cover. This thing is terrifying. I mean, it just reeks of menace! Mr. Bat is wearing some kind of
Continue readingmark a rayner: The side benefits of coulrophobia
Alltop is afraid of skin tanner. Chart by Indexed.
Continue readingmark a rayner: Twitterpocalypse
Writer’s note: Most of the Twitter handles are invented. And if the reverse chronology is a problem, you may prefer to start this short story at the beginning, but I recommend starting here: LandingPartyONE Displeased we did not demolish Twitter …
Continue readingmark a rayner: William Shatner’s Inaugural Address
(After Winning the First Post-Two-Party Presidential Election) Friends, Americans, Countrymen! Lend me your ears. I come to bury our two-party system, not praise it. I stand before you today, not as a conqueror, not as pop icon, but as your President. …
Continue readingmark a rayner: Vanity Thy Name is Robot
By mid-century, all the grumpkins agreed: robots were the shit. Even the most hardened humano-mechanicals were aware their robotic cousins could kick their asses. And the feed stock? Don’t be ridiculous. They were so squishy. So temporary. The on…
Continue readingmark a rayner: Twitter etiquette
If someone follows you, please, don’t immediately DM them and ask them to friend you on FB now, or buy your book, or watch your hilarious YouTube videos, etc. Imagine you’re at a party, and you’ve just encountered Bob. Bob seems interesting. Bob has a neat beard and a funny t-shirt.
Continue readingmark a rayner: Gonzo street
One of my guilty pleasures is Jim’ll Paint It — where readers request crazy scenarios and Jim makes them happen through the magic of imagination (and some kind of hallucinogen, I’m guessing.) Alltop loves a good hallaughinogen.
Continue readingmark a rayner: A post in which I quote Marx
See, there was nothing to worry about, comrades. Alltop is not half-hearted about humor.
Continue readingmark a rayner: Keyboard Shortcuts for Novelists
Or you could just mash the keys together in a fit of anxious rage and see what happens? Alltop gets funny whenever you hit alt + f. H/T to Corey Redekop. Genius cartoon by Tom Gauld.
Continue readingmark a rayner: Fahrenheit 1600
The Amazon servers take even more heating… Alltop is hot for the funny. Cartoon via Hungry for Knowledge.
Continue readingmark a rayner: Did I Miss Anything?
Question frequently asked by students after missing a class by Tom Wayman The Astonishing Weight of the Dead. Vancouver: Polestar, 1994. Nothing. When we realized you weren’t here we sat with our hands folded on our desks in silence, for the full two hours Everything. I gave an exam worth 40
Continue readingmark a rayner: Anxious Queue
At the Skywalker Ranch, there was always a long lineup for the Princess Leia Ride, even when Stacy and her “Umbrella of Truth” was working it. Alltop would never tell a lie. Cloud City Garrison – The Portrait Sessions, originally uploaded by LukeOlsen.
Continue readingmark a rayner: Are you a famous writer yet?
This flowchart may help you answer this “important” question: Alltop is a famous humor aggregator. Flowchart by electric literature
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Why do lit-ah-rary types look down on SF
So what is it about science fiction that causes “literary” types to look down upon it? Like any genre, SF has its bad and good. No scratch that, like any writing, there is both bad and good. I’ve read plenty … Continue reading →
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