You know, I always thought that Dobby was an annoyingly needy elf-turd, but he certainly didn’t deserve to die for it.
Alltop thinks this is vaguely familiar. Originally published in March, 2011.
Author: Mark A. Rayner
The Skwib: Skin harvesting on a pretty blue planet
G’lak T’ung really thought the humans were disgusting, ever since he’d been on the expedition that surveyed the pretty blue planet they inhabited. And he certainly couldn’t imagine why so many on the Thringian home world would want to wear things made out of their skin. But they did. Belts, mandible covers, and this year, […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: The Minkey that Stole the Pink Panther: Chief Inspector Dreyfus
I loved the Peter Sellers Pink Panther movies, but I always thought that Herbert Lom was on the edge of stealing these movies from their purported star — and in fact does in the Revenge of the Pink Panther (1976). I remember going to see it in the theatre with my family, and my mother […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: The Labour Party’s response to Margaret Thatcher
Actual footage (was used in this bit.)
Alltop is all actual footage.
The Skwib: There’s a fly in my soup
I’m not sure if this is racist or not, but it’s certainly not PC. Go Spike!
Love Spike’s commitment to the bit at the end!
Alltop is also an equal-opportunity offender.
The Skwib: Weather forecast for the UK
A lot of systems moving to the south in the United Kingdom these days.
Alltop enjoys moving south.
The Skwib: Toulouse Le Grandfig’s Summer Vacation: Voyage’s End
February 29, 1933, Capipi Bumonsis I sense the voyage is about to come to an end. The customs agents here are strange men. Their beards are not mellow, but wild and full of strife. Oh, for a helping of soup! But there is no rest. The man with the cane spots my imagined tail, and […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: A tribute to the late Sir Edward Elgar
I love how he has to struggle to get the premise out, because he knows is SO damn funny.
Alltop is a maestro of the less-popular instrument, the garden hose in knee pit.
The Skwib: Toulouse Le Grandfig’s Summer Vacation: Freeze the Brass…
April 12, Jungian Analysis Swollen cheeks and brass protuberances strike the crew of the Good Ship Plotkin. It is the worst outbreak of Bugler’s Mouth I’ve seen since the Great War. One by one, the crew is afflicted, and I am left alone to man the ship with “Ahoy Gregor you great walloping pederast.” Alas, […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Click Clunk — you’ll never have a bath again
Alltop doesn’t see no need for bathing.
Continue readingThe Skwib: Toulouse Le Grandfig’s Summer Vacation: Kiss-meat
SS Plotkin, circa. 1901 I separate the mists of time like the Great Jabber Monkey’s own cosmic speculum. The Fates glare at me as I slowly walk up the gangway: Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos. “You cannot avoid your destiny,” Clotho says to me, her sea-cap at a jaunty angle. “No,” Lachesis affirmed. “There is no […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Hitler Sings!
Fifty-one seconds of pure Spike Milligan joy!
Alltop has humor too.
The Skwib: Toulouse Le Grandfig’s Summer Vacation: The English Disease
Brighton, circa. 2000 This young gent claims that his name is Dennis Travesty. Don at Prancing Fairy College. I call him Coclear Implant. Wonder at his hat. The shoes. And where, do you ask, are the monkeys in this photo? They consumed his artificial eyelashes shortly after it was snapped. And still, I travel… Next […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Slave Leia — a public service announcement by Kaley Cuoco
Thank god somebody is on top of this!
Alltop doesn’t see the problem.
The Skwib: I hate it when I get an attack of the Arrr-Jim-Lads
Surreal enough for you? Spike Milligan was a genius.
Alltop has NO idea what is going on.
The Skwib: Bob Newhart’s call from Walter Raleigh
This is great on a couple of levels. First of all, it makes you think about all the strange little things we take for granted around us. I’m sure a similar conversation happened when Thag cracked open his first oyster and slurped it down (no doubt in a fit of starvation) and then relayed how […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Toulouse Le Grandfig’s Summer Vacation: Onions
Shattolott City, 1932 The man who loved onions. He loved onions Loved em. Really. He loooved them. If you catch my drift. The authorities frowned on his vegetable affections, but he would not stop. I sing joy monkey monkey at his happy artifice. But in this country, I did not eat. Next Time: On the […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: No, no . . . we don’t go there
I’ll play some classic Bob Newhart later, but this is just such a great (recent-ish) sketch he did on Mad TV.
Alltop is compelled to be funny.
The Skwib: Toulouse Le Grandfig’s Summer Vacation: Amazonia
Hermitage Villas, 3000 BC I’m in the land of the Amazons. The women are giant. And cruel. They play a game called “Truncheons and Skulls” with the men. The winners levitate the unfortunate survivors; these poor devils are forced to laugh at their ignominious floating before they are consumed by carnivorous haberdashery. I weep. My […]
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