Another great Cosby bit — the Lone Ranger and Tonto’s dysfunctional relationship. And does anyone else think it’s ironic that a hero called the “Lone” Ranger has a sidekick?
Alltop would beat the snot out of the Onion for…
Author: Mark A. Rayner
The Skwib: Toulouse Le Grandfig’s Summer Vacation: Birdman
January 22, 1978 It appears that in the future, the world is inhabited by a strange race of bird people. I am a happy fellow indeed! Lok-laach-do is my boon companion, though he is molting. His teeth are the razors in my soup! His hat is silly! Most egregious is his mustache. And now, I […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Bill Cosby: Right, Noah’s Ark
Each afternoon I’m going to post a video of some classic comedy bits. This one always made me laugh, though there is so much more to do with Noah. (You know, him being a drunk and all.)
Alltop is several cubits to the wind.
The Skwib: Toulouse Le Grandfig’s Summer Vacation: Cochlea
January 12, 1932 Our first port of call was Buster Keaton’s inner ear. I think we have discovered why he is always falling down. He has a lovely — if transgendered — higher primate living in his cochlea. Perhaps if she . . . he. . . it. Lovely it! Did not spit so much […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Toulouse Le Grandfig’s Summer Vacation: Departure
December 37, 1932 My voyage begins on the Ukranian Steam Ship, the Plotnik. On the first day, I met our captain. A diminutive, if stern fellow, by the name of Agamon Destroyer of Life. His constant companion was a mute who went by the name of Piffles. (Though he also answered to “Ahoy Gregor you […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Toulouse Le Grandfig
[From the Oxfjord Compendium of Not-So-Good Painters] Born in Sarlat (France) in 1895, Toulouse Le Grandfig was a minor painter and surrealist writer who’s most important contributions are the dadaist works: “Le singe de vol mange le ciel,” [1922 (“Flying monkey eats the sky”)], and “Singe dans la casserole de cerveau” [1923 “Monkey in the […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Some days you’re the monkey, some days the shark
Alltop is the grungy starburst. Image via Brexians.
Continue readingThe Skwib: Other problems with the Singularity
Vastly extended human lifespans might sound like a great idea, but the death of art is only one.
Alltop IS the death of art.
The Skwib: The Levels of Drinking Consciousness: A Unified Theory
Yesterday we looked at Larry Miller’s routine, “the five levels of drinking”, which while entertaining, does not look the levels systematically. He also really only discusses the first three levels in detail. My friends and I have developed a more systematic description of alcohol’s effect on human consciousness quite tirelessly over the years, beginning sometime […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Larry Miller’s Five Levels of Drinking
I love this routine by Larry Miller; it’s great storytelling, and it reminds me of my idiot friends. We went so far as to name all of these levels, including some names for specific drinks within the five levels. (In fact, it is the basis for the structure of my second novel, Marvellous Hairy.) Tomorrow […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Waiting for the razor-blade singularity
We may need to check with Ray Kurzweil on this one, but it looks as though we might expect the technological singularity sooner than anyone expects, based on your razor. The Economist did an evaluation of the number of blades on razors, and discovered (with five data points) that there is a Moore’s Law for […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: The Lost PowerPoint Slides (4th of July Edition)
John Hancock proposes boycott of British East India Company tea to Colonial housewives, 1769 (slide 4) I agree tea is lovely but coffee is good too Because, this will hurt British Yes, my signature is big No, not indicative of anything else, Madame. Paul Revere delivers Suffolk Resolves to First Continental Congress, 1774 (final slide) […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Nude Clanking Down a Staircase
You had to hand it to Wanda the Happy Ending Pleasure Borg; sure, she was two-thirds titanium alloy with Buckyball Graphite Tetro-Carbon piping, but she had a sweet disposition, a lovely singing voice, and legs that just didn’t stop. She had hydraulic servo-motors in places where normal cyborgs could only dream of servo-motors, if you […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Ten indisputable facts about Canada (Part Two: Culture)
To commemorate Canada Day, I decided it would be useful to clear up some common myths people have about Canada and its culture. I thought it might be especially helpful here at The Skwib, since many of its readers come from other parts of the world. You may want to read Part One, about Canadian […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Ten indisputable facts about Canada (Part One: History)
To commemorate Canada Day tomorrow, I thought it might be useful to clear up some common myths people have about Canada and Canadian history. Many of the readers of The Skwib come from outside Canada, so this brief history may be especially helpful to you (though we Canadians can always learn more about our rich […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Tying your shoes — you’re doing it wrong
When I was a wee lad, I had trouble tying my shoes the wrong way. I had to make two big loops and overlap those. True story. (Embarrassing, but true.)
Alltop just wears those velcro sneakers.
The Skwib: His name was Donald Gennaro, btw
Returning to the food chain would suck. You can watch the poor man get consumed at YouTube, of course, but why would you want to watch a lawyer get humiliated like that?
Alltop likes to tell lawyer jokes … until it needs to get out of jail!
The Skwib: Apocalypse Cow
Never get out of the boat. Absolutely goddamn right. Unless you were going all the way. Kurtz got off the boat. He split from the whole fuckin’ program. And me? I was off the boat the same time as Kurtz. Sure, I’d been obeying orders, but my mind was gone. I was in fields of […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: When Roombas Attack: The Singularity
My next novel has a comedic take on the Technological Singularity, so I thought I’d start to do some more posts about the topic here on The Skwib. The following video is a kind-of companion piece for a Time article that came out earlier this year about the Singularity and one of its main proponents, […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Ask General Kang: Miss Manners says it has to be 97 degrees out before I don’t have to wear nylons. What do you think?
I think you should tell me what that is in Celsius. 35? 36? Never mind, it doesn’t matter, because that Miss Manners is a complete bitch. How DARE she tell you what to do? I’m only offering helpful advice, but she has decrees. Well, I think you should wear whatever you want. It’s still a […]
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