This is Poe the Cat. He is a dick. His nickname is Mungbrain the Cat. He believes he was in a movie once (he was not) and that he played the captain of the guards (he did not; it was Jason Bateman) and that it was a, and I’m quoting
Continue readingAuthor: cenobyte
centre of the universe: Storytelling Month – The Basement
To celebrate Storytelling Month, I’m going to tell you at least one story per week in February. These are all true stories. I don’t think I’ve ever told this story before. Maybe I have and I’ve just reached that stage of perpetual awesomeness where my memory of stories is like that
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Why we can’t be friends when you’re in Hawaii
My cousin is in Hawaii right now, and I have vowed that she and I can NOT be friends until she is home. Now. She’s a professional photographer, so all of her pictures of her little “vacation” are fucking gorgeous, and because I am not at all petty or jealous,
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Storytelling Month – A Bigger Man
Why International White Trash Week only lasts one night.
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Same same?
TL:DR version – learn your history before you shoot off at the mouth.
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Saskatchewan Racist as Fuck No Surprise To Anyone But Folks Who Don’t Like Indians
Yeah, I stole the title from my own Twitter stream. I’ve seen these headlines over the last couple of days that talk about how SHOCKED everyone is to find out that SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH has PROVEN that Saskatchewan is full of people who pretty much hate each other. This should come
Continue readingcentre of the universe: You’re to Blame
I wasn’t going to say anything about this, but as usual, semantics made me do it. Because we live in a free and democratic first-world country (except for those places you don’t want to walk through), you get to choose not to vaccinate your children, and your reasons for that
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Storytelling Month – Grandmothers
To celebrate Storytelling Month, I’m going to tell you at least one story per week in February. These are all true stories. Every day at noon, the bells in the fire hall in Climax (the town in southeastern Saskatchewan that was home to my mum, and to me every summer, Christmas,
Continue readingcentre of the universe: To Print or Not to Print
You’ve heard by now that HarperCollins will be publishing a “new” book by Harper Lee, the author of one of my favourite books, To Kill a Mockingbird. Harper Lee, renowned for being reclusive and very protective of her work, may not have made the decision to publish, and that raises some
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Storytelling Month – Dogs
To celebrate Storytelling Month, I’m going to tell you at least one story per week in February. These are all true stories. You know how you sometimes get in to the middle of a situation and then you wonder “how the hell did I get here?”, and then you spend the
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Oh Danny Boy, Oh Boy Oh Boy, Oh Boy, Oh Danny
I’ve been gone for a little while. Which is to say, after ExMass, I decided I’d do a little assperiment. But before I get to the assperiment, I want to tell you a little bit of background stuff. While I’m ramping up to that, have a listen to the best
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Great Tracts of Land
This was another one of those yelly-at-the-radio days. Listen, it isn’t very often that I’m actually *ashamed* of the place that I choose to live. I love this place 98% of the time. But then some ninny axes a film employment tax credit or some jackass starts up a petition
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Logophile
Here is a list of some words that I love: Dulcet Irascible Fulsome Gar Luscious Worsted Peristalsis Apex Curmuffins* Bludgeon Trough Hollow Char Defenestration Lugubrious Metatarsal Coin Eustachian Zincofax Warble Interstitial Kinetic Yurt Jackanape (also: Jackdaw) Xeriscape Retard** Mope Umlaut Blaffard Haver Tandoori Slouch Cunt** Ramparts Opulent Perspicacity Romp Egregious
Continue readingcentre of the universe: The Reason
It finally dawned on her that the reason he’d left wasn’t because of anything SHE had or hadn’t done. It was because he’d figured out that she could hear everything he did in the water closet. Every. Single. Thing.
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Miss Appropriate Or, Why I Stopped Looking In Mirrors
I walk up the street and catch a reflection of myself in the window. I look away. The woman in that window is a woman reflected. She has backward thoughts. She cannot look in to her own eyes. The woman reflected is alone in that window. In mirrors she moves
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Eleven weeks
The view from the cafeteria looks out over Calgary’s wide valley basin. I watched the sun rise on one side this morning and now watch the sun begin to set behind the mountains. It’s the kind of view that takes you out past the horizon, if such a thing is
Continue readingcentre of the universe: CRISIS! (Averted)
I don’t know about you, but I still write letters to Santa every year. This year my letter, after the perfunctory inquiries about Mrs. Claus, the reindeer, and the state of Santa’s socks, included a request for the Clauses to look after my wee cousin as he undergoes some surgery.
Continue readingcentre of the universe: To every taxation year, there must come an end
I do not believe in making “new year” resolutions. I do not celebrate the ushering in of a new year until spring. Yet with this taxation year coming to an end there are some changes I am focusing on, and have been focusing on, for a few weeks now. My
Continue readingcentre of the universe: A list
Things #PrincessSassypants is afraid of: Leaves Certain kinds of paper The poop bag holder (that’s shaped like a bone) My skirt Little pieces of dust bunnies Her own farts The wind A stalk of grass Gloves (mittens are fine) Dining chairs The sound Twitter makes when I forget to turn
Continue readingcentre of the universe: …when you look at it
So after yesterday’s Debbie Downer post, I thought I’d just say another thing along the same vein. And that is, that while there is a very important role that grief plays in dealing with loss, where the actual MAGIC happens is somewhere else. What that mourning stage does is gets
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