“Wouldn’t it be cool,” The Captain said just now, before going to school for his last day of fifth grade,”if we could cross-breed insects and arthropods and then control them? Then we could cross a tick with a mosquito with an A…
Continue readingAuthor: cenobyte
centre of the universe: Almost a week without rain
And the big news in health care today is that even though I waited very, very patiently for a very, very long time to see the new doctor (who seems to be a very, very nice man), when I told him that I have been having the reverse of good luck in trying…
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Insidious
Insidious, or: How Nutella(TM) Roont My Children For some reason, The Captain thought it would be a Good Idea to take the *entire jar* of Nutella to school today, and then he thought it would be an *even better* idea to lie about it. Bloody ridiculous …
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Tent-caterpillar
He’s just a baby now, you said, holding the fuzzy blue-and-black caterpillar on your hand. When he touches me it’s like little tickles, his baby feet and fingers are soft. But he will grow and change, you know. Soon he’ll be a butterf…
Continue readingcentre of the universe: The Words of His Roaring
The drive north for a board meeting was lovely; the sun was shining this morning. Every so often I look across the rolling prairies, and I think of that scene in The Studhorse Man, where the horses all get loose from the slaughterhouse and stampede thr…
Continue readingcentre of the universe: My Grandmother is still alive!
The Saga has continued. Well, in the sense that it’s ended. Apparently, SaskTel fixed my grandmother’s phone on Sunday. I don’t know yet if she’s going to be charged for the “service” (but if they do charge her, I th…
Continue readingcentre of the universe: We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming
Everything seems to be in order. I have now, single-handedly proven the SCIENTIFIC HYPOTHESIS that if you bitch, moan, and kvetch about something hard enough and long enough, that thing will either fix itself or the problem will be addressed by people …
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Fuck You, SaskTel. It’s a fucking emergency.
“It’s unfortunate that your elderly grandmother lives in an area where there are no technicians to go and check on her phone line, but we have a ticket written out for her for first thing Monday. If she’d like a service call before th…
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Do you find it surprising?
I find it surprising not at all that even though many people who support politically right-of-centre parties (such as our current government, senate, and supreme court) often say things like: “we need LESS government not MORE”, the governme…
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Sometimes dipping your toes is a full immersion
The smell of the sea and tears-tasting salt water still cling to me as I dress/undress for bed. My skin is red where the sun kissed it a little too long, and my hair is whipped to a frenzy by the ocean breeze. There, on a promontory at St. Andrews-by-t…
Continue readingcentre of the universe: You keep saying this word. I don’t think this word means what you think it means.
I’d like to kiss the Senate page who launched a protest calling for someone – everyone – to stop Prime Minister Harper. First of all, she’s got chutzpah for doing this thing, and I really admire that. Second, even though there w…
Continue readingcentre of the universe: The Road Less Travelled
When Wassisname Frost…ol’ Frosty…ol’ Chilly Britches himself wrote that famous poem, I’m pretty sure he wasn’t talking in *metaphors* and *allegories* and *imagery* and all that poetical crud. And really, the poem wa…
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Two-Fifty for a Highball
This drink here is called a Cuba Libre, according to Captain Dan. It was decidedly more than two fifty, and the lime makes *all* the difference. Amazing little fruit, that lime. This photo was taken shortly after Captain Dan shot lemon juice in my eye,…
Continue readingcentre of the universe: The Unmade Bed
The unmade bed tells a story, although I’m never sure whether it’s a coming-of-age story, a mystery, a thriller, or a book of rumpled poetry. Pillows askew, sometimes huddling on the floor, does the damned thing wait for someone to return, …
Continue readingcentre of the universe: The Devil, You Say
At dinner last night, we talked a little about a lot of things. I fear I did most of the chatting, but that should surprise no one. Your name came up, referentially, after the question of my involvement with a mutual friend. The truth of the matter is …
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Not a Cohen Song
It’s four in the morning where you are. You won’t be awake yet. There is a stillness about sleeping alone that you never quite master once you’ve been pluralized. The air is misty and humid. We are learning in a cloud. I know that phr…
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Why I believe in time travel
I got out of bed at 4am, and was on the road by 4:30. We boarded the plane at 6:30 and were in the air for two and a half hours. We landed at 11:30, took off again at 11:50, and were in the air for twenty minutes. We landed at 1:30. We once again […]
Continue readingcentre of the universe: In the dark of the night
I have slipped away from you. I crept out of bed, kissing you lightly on the cheek, then tiptoed from the room. Actually, I didn’t tiptoe; I walk softer on the outside soles of my feet. Softly down the stairs, so quietly not even the cat opened a…
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Bad Things, Good People
You want to know why Bad Things Happen to Good People? Because shit happens, that’s why. Because nothing is certain. Because people are animals. They are unpredictable, and are often cruel to one another. Because animals are territorial and aggre…
Continue reading