centre of the universe: The Inadvertent Feminist

I have the most bizarre memory. I mean, I can remember things that happened when I was 2. I remember locker combinations from high school. I remember school seating plans from elementary school. Yet I can’t remember my kids’ names on a regular basis, or whether I’ve seen a particular movie. This is nothing new….

centre of the universe: The Drama …Club

Did I ever tell you about my short-lived career as an actual “ad-man”? *wavy remembery lines* Way back in the once-upon-a-time, there was a drama club. And that drama club was trying to recruit new members. I went to a high school where there was a pretty clear divide between the band-drama kids and the…

centre of the universe: Frozone

I have Seasonal Affective Disorder. I have, in the past, taken medications to deal with some of the symptoms. I have used light therapy (I had this great doctor who had therapeutic lamps in his office and I could just stop in a few times a week to read/study under them). I make sure to…

centre of the universe: This may be the best thing I have ever written 

I found this little gem on my Twitter feed via timehop. Part of me wishes it were fiction.                      It’s always an adventure when you’re me.  

centre of the universe: Bones in my pocket

So I’m sitting on the chesterfield, having my tea and thinking how nice it would be to have a patio I could sit on to have my tea and do some writing of a lovely spring morning, when what to my wondering eyes should appear to port side but a little damp black nose and ...

centre of the universe: Three Stories

A Story About Crows for @lizzers_ Once Upon a Time, I lived far north of here in a “ranch-style bungalow” on a hill in a city bound by a river. The city itself still had many Wild Places. Not the kind of wild places where one might go after a night in one’s cups, but ...

centre of the universe: It was like this when I got here

This is Smog. Before I tell you too much about Smog, I should tell you that I have never been able to successfully pick out a proper cat. I’m okay with the factory rejects, though. THEY NEED LOVE TOO.  We rented Smog from the Cat Shop several weeks earlier than we ought to have been ...

centre of the universe: Two Princes

I leave the doctor’s office, where I have just been shirtless in front of two men I have never met. I’m feeling a little scared, because in meeting with this doctor, I have basically consented to surgery. Elective surgery, but elective surgery that may change my life and make it possible for me to run, ...

centre of the universe: Storytelling Month – The Basement

To celebrate Storytelling Month, I’m going to tell you at least one story per week in  February. These are all true stories. I don’t think I’ve ever told this story before. Maybe I have and I’ve just reached that stage of perpetual awesomeness where my memory of stories is like that thing that things get out ...

centre of the universe: Storytelling Month – A Bigger Man

Why International White Trash Week only lasts one night.

centre of the universe: Storytelling Month – Grandmothers

To celebrate Storytelling Month, I’m going to tell you at least one story per week in  February. These are all true stories. Every day at noon, the bells in the fire hall in Climax (the town in southeastern Saskatchewan that was home to my mum, and to me every summer, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, and most spring ...

centre of the universe: To Print or Not to Print

You’ve heard by now that HarperCollins will be publishing a “new” book by Harper Lee, the author of one of my favourite books, To Kill a Mockingbird. Harper Lee, renowned for being reclusive and very protective of her work, may not have made the decision to publish, and that raises some interesting questions. Questions about art ...

centre of the universe: Storytelling Month – Dogs

To celebrate Storytelling Month, I’m going to tell you at least one story per week in  February. These are all true stories. You know how you sometimes get in to the middle of a situation and then you wonder “how the hell did I get here?”, and then you spend the rest of the night trying ...

centre of the universe: Oh Danny Boy, Oh Boy Oh Boy, Oh Boy, Oh Danny

I’ve been gone for a little while. Which is to say, after ExMass, I decided I’d do a little assperiment. But before I get to the assperiment, I want to tell you a little bit of background stuff. While I’m ramping up to that, have a listen to the best version of this song that ...

centre of the universe: Miss Appropriate Or, Why I Stopped Looking In Mirrors

I walk up the street and catch a reflection of myself in the window. I look away. The woman in that window is a woman reflected. She has backward thoughts. She cannot look in to her own eyes. The woman reflected is alone in that window. In mirrors she moves backward, mixing up her right ...

centre of the universe: CRISIS! (Averted)

I don’t know about you, but I still write letters to Santa every year. This year my letter, after the perfunctory inquiries about Mrs. Claus, the reindeer, and the state of Santa’s socks, included a request for the Clauses to look after my wee cousin as he undergoes some surgery. Usually the boys and I ...

centre of the universe: …when you look at it

So after yesterday’s Debbie Downer post, I thought I’d just say another thing along the same vein. And that is, that while there is a very important role that grief plays in dealing with loss, where the actual MAGIC happens is somewhere else. What that mourning stage does is gets some of the sadness and ...

centre of the universe: Not with a whimper

I thought I would be much, much older before so many of my friends died. I thought I had more time. That’s the thing, isn’t it? We always think we have more time. Well, we don’t. That’s just the thing. Cherish every single moment because while time is not finite, our lives are. We are so ...

centre of the universe: I don’t know why she’s leaving, or where she’s going to go

First, there was Alice. You have lived your whole life in the lap of storytellers; everything you have learned, everything you remember, is from stories told over and over. The reason we tell stories is because this is how we learn. History is nothing without the narrative; every religion began as a story – some ...

centre of the universe: R-E-S whatever

And then #TheTeen saunters in to the room with his hands jammed down his pockets and a scowl on his face in the best inadvertent impression of Reggie Mantle I’ve ever seen. Keep in mind this is after an evening of which the highlight was sitting down at the dinner table having provided the following ...

centre of the universe: I will survive

I am a woman. This probably won’t shock you. I am a woman, I am a feminist, I am a mother, I am a lover…I am many things. But I want to tell you about something I am not. I am not afraid. Oh sure, I have fear. I worry about my family, about the ...

centre of the universe: It ain’t easy

This is a difficult post for me to write. To be honest, I don’t even know if it’ll ever get posted publicly. I’m not particularly good at this sort of thing, and the idea that people use their blogs to kind of…I dunno…bleed out all over the place gives me the squickies. So I don’t ...

centre of the universe: Flying along on a wing and a prayer

Let me tell you why this bleeding heart plant is my hero. Five or six years ago, I planted this little beggar as a seedling. I watered him and fertilized him and he grew! He was GAAAHHHHJUSSS, as my friend’s daughter would say. Not quite big enough for blooms, but he was on the way! ...

centre of the universe: Sacrifice?

See, the thing is, when I chose to become a parent, I did not think in terms of “sacrifice”. I did not think in terms of “giving things up”. It wasn’t about not being able to go out partying with my bee eff effs. It wasn’t about not eating hot food. It wasn’t about giving ...

centre of the universe: Cherie from the vanity press called today

I received correspondence today from the vanity press that keeps contacting me. You remember this from such escapades as Nathan’s going to publish my manifesto and Suggestions for Nathan regarding my manifesto and A Mouthful of Marbles and Nathan’s gone missing. A woman called “Cherie [REDACTED] a Publishing Consultant from [REDACTED]” contacted me today. Below is my ...