True dat. Alltop groks all forms of humor!
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The Skwib: Christmas Carnage!
Time for a little blogging break. I’ll be back in the New Year, and in the meantime, I hope you all have a nice little break yourself. If you’re dying for more Skwib, perhaps you can avail yourself of the archives, or even better, why don’t you treat yourself to
Continue readingThe Skwib: Trooper Jinglo at home
Every time he thought about the Death Star, and how he was supposed to be on duty that day, Trooper Jinglo just needed to cuddle with his dog. More pics and cutlines like this at Monkeyjoys (my Tumblr blog). Alltop was supposed to be cleaning out the garbage containers, but
Continue readingThe Skwib: Jesus visits the Denver Broncos
I’ve been without TV for the last three months, so I haven’t witnessed all the miracles Jesus has performed on behalf of the Denver Broncos and Tim Tebow, but I do remember the Elway years… Alltop knew Mormonism was all real!
Continue readingThe Skwib: Betsy of Narnia Reveals the Ugly Truth
‘Allo, dearie, I suppose you’d like to hear all about your hero Aslan and those Pevensie folk, but you don’t want to hear it from the likes of me. You want to talk to Edmund’s horse Phillip or p’raps those Beavers (desperate suck-ups the Beavers). They’ll tell you want you
Continue readingThe Skwib: Sad Spaceman Sighs
Alltop can hear laughter, even in space.
Continue readingThe Skwib: Clown Apocalypse: The Day the Laughter Died
It was as though everyone who was infected by the Bozo Virus (BV) had received an extensive education at the Barnum and Bailey Clown College. In fact, one of the early ways of detecting the infection was for doctors to test if patients could juggle, even just a little bit.
Continue readingThe Skwib: Charlie Brown: shallow bastard
So Charlie Brown’s troubles are not because he’s a loser, they’re because he’s shallow: He’s in love with a girl because of her looks. He wants to kick a football because his ego won’t let him fail (or learn that Lucy is a sociopathic liar). He is a child, but
Continue readingThe Skwib: Unwanted Christmas Gifts Through the Ages
In 1170, King Henry II says, “What a parcel of fools and dastards have I nourished in my house, and not one of them will avenge me of this one upstart clerk.” Said fools and dastards decide that this means they should kill Archbishop Thomas Becket. In 1600, Queen Elizabeth
Continue readingThe Skwib: Space Lunchbox would be a great name for a band
Sad Spaceman contemplates lunch. Alltop would be a great name for a humor blog aggregator.
Continue readingThe Skwib: Christmas Shoes – Patton Oswalt
It seems like all the lights are up in the neighborhood, so I thought I’d post this hilarious Christmas routine by Patton Oswalt: Click here to view the embedded video. Also here on youtube. Alltop gets cranky at Christmas time too. Originally posted Dec. 2010.
Continue readingThe Skwib: Sad Spaceman doesn’t read Nietzsche
More Sad Spaceman here. Alltop reads Nietzsche. It just doesn’t understand it.
Continue readingThe Skwib: Literary horror stories
But only if the author is very, very lucky. Alltop would like to be turned into a View-a-matic slideshow.
Continue readingThe Skwib: The Tyranny and Creativity of a Word Count
On the other hand, a really specific (short) word limit can force one to be more creative and improve the text. I love the Blaise Pascal quote: “Je n’ai fait celle-ci plus longue que parce que je n’ai pas eu le loisir de la faire plus courte.” In English: “This
Continue readingThe Skwib: Top rejected final messages from David Bowman (spoilers)
1968- "2001" – astronaut David Bowman, a photo by x-ray delta one on Flickr. As you probably know, in the book version of 2001: A Space Odyssey, David Bowman’s final words recorded by mission control are: “My God, it’s full of stars!”. (This excellent line didn’t make it into the
Continue readingThe Skwib: Why your cat sits in the most inconvenient place possible
Of course, it’s recent evolution. Alltop loves sitting on the Internet.
Continue readingThe Skwib: Survivor Jerusalem: Crucifixion Island
There are only nine challengers left. Jeff Probst introduces the day’s challenge: “For today’s reward challenge, I’m going to tell you what you’re competing for first. We’ve divided you into three teams. The winning team will get a sit-down meal at Shecky Joe’s Rib Emporium — ” [groan from two thirds of the contestants] “And […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Zach Galifianakis interview Charlize Theron
Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Charlize Theron from Between Two Ferns
Alltop has sweaty thighs too.
Continue readingThe Skwib: Zach Galifianakis interviews Bruce Willis
The 80s: the underrated decade.
Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Bruce Willis from Bruce Willis
Alltop preferred the 70s.
Continue readingThe Skwib: The stinky choices available in New Egonia
You may also find some self-absorbed individuals at alltop. Originally published in November, 2008, when that picture of me was still very old.
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