If you’ve seen the movie Moulin Rouge (2001), then no doubt you’re expecting an extravagant, musical story about this evening. Let me set you straight:… The post Formidable! My Night at the Moulin Rouge appeared first on mark a. rayner.
Continue readingTag: but is it art?
mark a. rayner: The Dumpster Fire that Is Twitter
Stephen Fry just left Twitter, moments before I started writing this. As recently as a few weeks ago, I would have thought this would be… The post The Dumpster Fire that Is Twitter appeared first on mark a. rayner.
Continue readingmark a rayner: What is dark comedy and why do we like it so much?
There I was, on stage, leading the entire audience and cast in a barn-burning, Christ-crunching rendition of Always Look on the Bright Side of Life. It… Continue ReadingWhat is dark comedy and why do we like it so much? The post What is dark comedy and why do we like it
Continue readingmark a rayner: Biggest laughs…
I’m not entirely sure I agree with my literary patronus on this one, but there is something to be learned from the quote. I DO… Continue ReadingBiggest laughs… The post Biggest laughs… appeared first on mark a rayner.
Continue readingmark a rayner: The Monkey’s Tail, as Told by Marcel Duchamp the Day After Charles Lindbergh Landed at Le Bourget Field
I had this friend who was obsessed with having a monkey tail grafted to his ass. Actually, to call him a friend is stretching the… Continue ReadingThe Monkey’s Tail, as Told by Marcel Duchamp the Day After Charles Lindbergh Landed at Le Bourget Field The post The Monkey’s Tail, as
Continue readingmark a rayner: Twain edits
Full quote: I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English – it is… Continue ReadingTwain edits The post Twain edits appeared first on mark a rayner.
Continue readingmark a rayner: An Open Letter to Boris Johnson’s Hair
Dear Boris Johnson’s Hair, It’s really not going very well, is it? But it’s not your fault. It really isn’t. In the history of British… Continue ReadingAn Open Letter to Boris Johnson’s Hair The post An Open Letter to Boris Johnson’s Hair appeared first on mark a rayner.
Continue readingmark a rayner: Rejected Halloween-Themed Cereals
After the success of Count Chocula, Boo-berry and Frankenberry, cereal executives everywhere were on the look out for new Halloween-themed cereals. Alas, these never made it to market, though the last entry did make it to the packaging design phase. (This happens BEFORE taste testing, I should note.) 10. Candy
Continue readingmark a rayner: The Simianularity
“I swear to God, I never thought the cyborg-monkeys would betray us.” Alltop wouldn’t survive even the robo-bees stage.
Continue readingmark a rayner: The void loves you
The caption is perfect if you imagine it being narrated by Werner Herzog. Herzog continues to read: “The orange sky, like the creeping shadows that threaten to engulf our fictional protagonists, is a visual clue that this never happened beyond the void of imagination.” If this cause a full-on existential
Continue readingmark a rayner: Vintage Coulrophobia
Sugar Krinkles: so you have the energy to run from psychotic clowns! Things that make him extra scary: tiny hat suspiciously perfect teeth he’s wearing someone else’s face he painted it to blend with his face the broken pinkie. Alltop thinks he broke the pinkie in a funny way. (Maybe
Continue readingmark a rayner: Excruciating Album Cover Art — Mr. Bat Sings
“Can’t sleep, clown will eat me.” –Bart Simpson I always used to think one of the silliest phobias was coulrophobia — the fear of clowns — until I saw this album cover. This thing is terrifying. I mean, it just reeks of menace! Mr. Bat is wearing some kind of
Continue readingmark a rayner: Alexandra Leaving – a short history
This song is based on a poem by the Greek poet, Constantine P. Cavafy. His source material was a story from Plutarch about Mark Anthony, as he watched his allies and supporters leave Alexandra before his enemy Octavian attacked the city. The original poem is called “The god forsakes Antony,” and is a meditation on the […]
Continue readingmark a rayner: Crazy like a fox
Reagan did a lot of this during the Reykjavík Summit with Gorbachev, but it was part of his strategy. He was TRYING to make Gorby and the Russians think he was a maniac. Hell, maybe he would launch the nukes — he was that crazy. Though this did …
Continue readingmark a rayner: Furious George
Angry monkey with a chaingun. I’ve been there. Alltop would never give a weapon to a lower primate. From Otipess.
Continue readingmark a rayner: Twitterpocalypse
Writer’s note: Most of the Twitter handles are invented. And if the reverse chronology is a problem, you may prefer to start this short story at the beginning, but I recommend starting here: LandingPartyONE Displeased we did not demolish Twitter …
Continue readingmark a rayner: Congo: a chimp, an artist, a cautionary tale
Congo began his artistic career when he worked with Desmond Morris, anthropologist, TV presenter and writer of such books as The Human Animal, The Naked Ape, and Chimps-r-Us. Initially, Morris gave Congo the paints just to mess with the poor ape’…
Continue readingmark a rayner: Excruciating Album Cover Art – Ignatz Topolino
I include this cover, not because it is awful, but because the story behind this collection of classic jazz nose-harmonica stylings remind me of such an excruciatingly sad story. In the annals of nose harmonica players, Ignatz Topolino is usually the f…
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