One night, as I lay in bed…okay, actually, technically, I think it was one morning. But it was still dark. Because it’s frigging winter and the sun is being coquettish. So either it was night time or early morning, and … Continue reading →
Continue readingAuthor: cenobyte
centre of the universe: Have you a one-handed child?
This is the pinnacle of raising a family. This, right here. This thing that happened to me just last week. Technically, I suppose it happened to the entire family. It was cold last week. The west wind was bitter, biting. … Continue reading →
Continue readingcentre of the universe: No Effin’ Brains
Dear Old Dude on a Bike: I recognise that you face many challenges every day. And I am sorry that you have faced circumstances that have brought you to this place: riding a bicycle through the downtown core looking for … Continue reading →
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Grace
The sun crested the dry, brown autumn hills this morning and flooded my bedroom with a rich orange light. Clouds streaked with pink and crimson lay brilliant behind the skeletons of cottonwoods, sinewy power lines. I snapped a photo, knowing … Continue reading →
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Freedom Has Consequences
This article is about a London, Ontario man who posted a cruel comment on the memorial site for Amanda Todd (the 15-year-old Port Coquitlam, BC girl who committed suicide last week) and who was subsequently fired from his job after a … Continue reading →
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Definition of Terms
As I was stewing this morning in the steam room, I thought of something. Or rather, something came to me. Or was revealed to me. Or whatever. I’ve been thinking about what I’m going to say to a bunch of … Continue reading →
Continue readingcentre of the universe: TRANSFORM!
I think it isn’t so much like a transformation, actually. It’s more like a palimpsest. A dog-eared, loose-leafed unbound monstrosity that’s been erased upon so much the paper is balling up and wearing thin into holes. That’s really all I … Continue reading →
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Residence
It’s not really communal living, is it? It’s just high-capacity living. I don’t even really know if you can call it “living”. I was 12 when my mother’s friend told me that the best two years of her life were … Continue reading →
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Introspection
I started this post in an entirely different manner. Then I erased everything and started again. I don’t know why (or indeed if) that’s important. It seemed poignant. I am tired of being taken for granted. So. Here are some … Continue reading →
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Drunlsweet
Yesterday morning, I had a PROCEDURE done. A medical PROCEDURE. The doctor came in to talk to me, asked what the problem is, and I told him. He asked, “do you drink?” I said, “Not really.” He said, “Why not?” … Continue reading →
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Deep Throat
Just a brief note today, my love. The downside of eating regularly and relatively well is that when one has to skip meals, one is devastatingly hungry. The reason for the meal skipping in a moment. It’s been no secret … Continue reading →
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Thinly Thought
I wasn’t going to do this. I really wasn’t. But then something happened to a friend of mine and it got my knickers in a knot and I know I’m going to be skimming over vast chunks of the actual … Continue reading →
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Education
In the ongoing series of things I learn every day, this post is the ‘what I learned last night’ flagship. It’s important to learn something every day. My fifth grade teacher said that every time we learn something, a new … Continue reading →
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Stevedores, Justacorps, and les petits mots d’amours
Really, I just like things that rhyme. It’s been a rough summer. A gorgeous, beautiful, hot summer. But a rough one. I’m not much in to opening up. I’m sure you know that already. So for the good people who … Continue reading →
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Beware the Bandersnatch, my boy
I would make a shitty spy. Seriously. Espionage would totally not be my strong suit. I’d wriggle my way to someone’s baccarat table, receive a SECRET MESSAGE jotted on a tiny piece of paper inside a $50,000 chip, swallow the … Continue reading →
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Sometimes, everything works out
There is nothing quite like the feeling of painstakingly hand-knitting a sweater for someone who dies partway through the process, then having to repurpose the sweater for someone else whose arms are longer. I say this only because it’s a … Continue reading →
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Be Strong
Dear Princess Kate Middleton: Let me open this missive by saying I don’t actually give much of a rat’s arse about the social and class structure to which you now belong, and I give even less of a rat’s arse … Continue reading →
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Trap, Sir!
This morning, not fifteen minutes hence, I found myself entirely unable to undress myself. To wit: I was stuck inside my shirt. In order to contain my glorious and magnificent love mounds (and thereby prevent injury to myself and others), … Continue reading →
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Terebus and Error
I was sailing blind, sailing starless, drifting sail-less through black water. I had cast my lot in with the sea spirits. I was navigating by soul. I trusted my instinct, and that perhaps is the greater problem. “Trust” and “Tryst”, … Continue reading →
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Isthmus
I’m sorry. I can’t do it anymore. I cannot bridge the gulf between the vast and endless ocean that is this need. Not that it’s anything I’ve ever accomplished in the past. Maybe it’s just that I thought you wanted … Continue reading →
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