Prime Minister pulls out of Kyoto, treaty feels emotionally frustrated

OTTAWA – Reading from a teleprompter, Minister of the Environment Peter Kent announced that the Prime Minister is pulling out of Kyoto. Former meat puppet Kent added that Canada would practise abstinence from future environmental treaties, and that a proper courtship would take place in the future. “There will be no more drinking and hopping into the sack with the first treaty that comes along. Treaties always look good at 2:00 am, but considerably less so after you sober up.”

A frustrated Kyoto could not be reached for comment, but sources say the pact feels confused, hurt, and feels need to take a shower. “A gentleman would have worn a condom and seen things through.”

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