Good morning, comrades. What? Who is this obvious communist? I’m Luna, the batshit crazy blogger at Feminist Christian Socialist, and Dr. Dawg has made the mistake of asking asked me to make a few guest posts here this week. Bwahahahaha. An audience? You’re giving me an audience? I was just saying the other day that writing on my own blog feels like talking to myself loudly, in public. And believe me, I’d know. Now I have a speaker’s corner in the park, and you all are the crazies, gawkers and innocent bystanders.
Anyway, I’m crazy because I have three minions, er… that is, children. All three of them have autism, to varying degrees. As a result, I haven’t had a full night’s sleep in 6 years. Seriously. 6 years. Snap is 16, and she’s just on this side (that side?) of neurotypical. She is, however, a teenager, and as such, it is her job to make me crazy. She excels in this position, and if there were money to be made from irritating people… hey wait. Telemarketing! Crackle is 5, and is the most affected by the autism. He’s completely non-verbal, but he’s not quiet! He’s a cat on crack. His thought processes seem to include “OH MY GOD I’M SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE LIVING ROOM!” Pop is 2 and he’s so cute it’s almost painful. He yells “OH CRAP!” when anything happens. “OH CRAP! PHONE!” when the phone rings, for example. I suspect he hears that a lot from his mother. I mean his father, yes. Let’s blame it on him. I am a feminist after all, so it must be a man’s fault. Wait, what?
Right, so did you double take on Feminist Christian Socialist? Buh? Aren’t all Christians right-wing buttmunches? And socialists are godless killing machines! (No, wait, that’s bears). And what kind of feminist is a Christian? You aren’t like a Sarah Palin “feminist”, right? snicker Only inasmuch as I’d quit my job to be paid gobs of money too. Oh wait. I don’t have a job and the last one I did have I quit to look after my kids. (Actually, I asked for a leave of absence, found my own replacement, and they said no. So I quit.) Never mind. Nope, no similarities. Basically, I think Jesus was a pretty great guy with a pretty awesome message that boils down to ‘don’t be an asshat’ and so I try really hard not to be an asshat. (Though in a hilarious twist, my last license plate was 455 HAT). Unfortunately, I think the message has gotten rather distorted. Because asshattery is RAMPANT in the church. It’s practically a pandemic. Mind you, that could be said of pretty much any group of people. It just seems worse when it’s coupled with blatant hypocrisy. And while that seems harsh, it’s honest. I also love my mother-in-law, but you should hear the things I say about her!
So all that said, as long as you’re not an asshat, we’ll get along fine. Gay, straight; male, female, somewhere in between, undecided; Muslim, Jewish, pagan; Chinese, Lithuanian, whatever. It’s all good. I’ll even put up with atheists. snicker Sorry. That was a shot at a friend of mine who is reading this (or damn well better be if she knows what’s good for her), and who I like to needle about being ‘godless’. Pretty much the only thing I don’t accept, or at least tolerate is intolerance. And Texans.
Yes. Joking. In fact, that is a rule you can take with you. If you’re not sure if I’m joking, assume I am. 9 times out of 10, you’ll be right. The other time, I was probably being sarcastic.
Feel free to ask questions. I’ll feel free to ignore them if I am so inclined. Intro post over. Real content to follow. Maybe.