New NSA recruitment ad = sexy!
Eavesdropping makes Alltop feel funny.
Mark A. Rayner
Tune for Two
Great dark stuff, very Tarantoesque! By Alfa Primo. One of 11 fascinating short films of 2011. Alltop prefers Rainbow Connection. H/T to Adam Fraser!
Ask General Kang: How do you deal with bad drivers?
The first thing you have to realize is that I’ve only been subject to the idiocy of my fellow car-jockeys since my arrival on Earth. (Car-jockey is the right term,…
Pozo and Mr. Savage
They lived on the margins of society as a travelling entertainment act. A classic clown-and-baboon show, in the old Czech style. They had terrorized a generation of Eastern European children.…
The ultimate Venn Diagram
Naturally, Steve Miller sits at the very center of this one. The only issue that I have with it is that Miller’s identities are all self-identified, while the others don’t…
Ask General Kang: What do you do when your planet runs out of resources?
What do I do? Shouldn’t you be asking what will you do? What I do is charge up the power cells in my Interstellar Ape-arda, fill the ships with hordes…
Signs the singularity is already here
I knew it! Though this still isn’t as terrifying as a supra-intelligent self-aware Internet only talking to one web developer via text on his web-enabled fridge. (And using Comic Sans…
Nosferadude
Vampire fiction was my education. It was all I was allowed to sink my teeth into when I was young. And when I was just a little boy, I loved…
Protected: A Reluctant Emcee
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
The inspiration for The Fridgularity (discussion post)
A bit of a departure for today’s Skwib. I’m currently engaging in a lively discussion of The Fridgularity over on Goodreads with The Next Best Book Club (TNBBC), and I…
Ask General Kang: I’ve heard that one of the first things women check out is your footwear. What if I wear sandals?
Wow, this is a tough one. First of all, I don’t put anything on my feet, so I’m not really sure what this “footwear” concept is all about. (Don’t be…
Sad Spaceman regrets the broken promises …
Yes, he’s back. More in the Sad Spaceman Tumblr here. Alltop never went anywhere.
The Lost PowerPoint Slides (Ides of March Edition)
Julius Caesar Presents: Won’t Be King (slide 5) Don’t put that diadem around my shoulders Only King in Rome is Jupiter But you can call me King outside Italy What,…
Ask General Kang: I really don’t understand quantum mechanics — is there any hope for my marriage? Also I’m pretty sure my wife is cheating on me with a vampire.
I think your marriage is safe, as long as you can do two things. First of all, you HAVE to wrap your head around Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle. Here’s the easy…
René Magritte: Meditations on the Nether Beast From Dimension X
Many have taken this iconic painting by the Belgian surrealist to be a commentary on the treacherous nature of the image — it makes you believe one thing, while hiding…
Ask General Kang: Did I miss anything important in class yesterday?
How the hell would I know? I don’t even know what kind of class you’re taking! I do have a couple of ideas, though, if you should be worried about…
Leonardo Da Vinci’s Woman with Telekinetic Powers About to Destroy Sienna
Many people have described this as one of history’s most mysterious paintings. They have described the smile on this woman’s face as “enigmatic” and “curious” and highly erotic. Nothing could…
The Sarcastic Cyborg Debriefs
Is this thing on? Seriously. Is it on? I’m not getting any neural feedback. You humans are so odd. You are human aren’t you? Why don’t you just implant a…