Many people have described this as one of history’s most mysterious paintings. They have described the smile on this woman’s face as “enigmatic” and “curious” and highly erotic. Nothing could…
Is this thing on? Seriously. Is it on? I’m not getting any neural feedback. You humans are so odd. You are human aren’t you? Why don’t you just implant a…
You probably get a lot of funny looks when you employ that adjective. Some of the looks are from borderline homophobes, who believe that you’d have to be a little…
Bob was not a happy cyborg. He’d had to skip his plasma bath and neural detox that morning because his dick of a boss, a narcissistic self-sustaining photosynthetic artificial intelligence…
Joel LeFrappe was an up-and-coming executive in the Massive and Deranged Cricket and Palmistry (MaDCaP) Continuum, homeworld of ToryWorks 4000, a rival firm of NaziWorks 3000 (The Caring Company). While…
I have never owned one of your quaint “internal combustion engine” vehicles, so I have not had to worry about the high price of gas, but I have been getting…
Interesting question, no doubt prompted by the recent vote for the decriminalizing of marijuana possession in Washington. Given the bloodthirsty nature of my intergalactic conquests, you will be surprised to…
You know what Harvey hated? He really hated it when people misquoted things or used sayings the wrong way. For example: the proof is in the pudding. “No fucker.” Harvey…
The Kelly Gang was notorious, not only for their 1905 pancake rampage through East Ham, but for their queer genetic makeup. In the back row, you can make out the…
Loved Duffbert’s take: “One of the most entertaining and funny books I’ve read this year.” Katy Sozeva has a rave review of the book at her blog, Now is Gone:…
Most of the scientific community and a large number of other thinking hominids believe global warming to be an observed increase in the average temperature of the Earth’s atmosphere and…
So anyone who uses Rogers for their Internet access got a little taste of the world depicted in my latest novel, The Fridgularity. The Internet services provided by the company…
Last weekend Dr. Maximillian Tundra was lucky enough to go away for the weekend on a roadtrip with his buddies. It was nearly the last thing he ever did. After…
The artificial intelligence(s) in The Fridgularity emphatically do not fall in love. Sex, sure, but love? Alltop is in lust with humor.
A bit of advice from Bob Newhart: But you shouldn’t stop going to Alltop.
Happy New Years all! And thanks to The Cartoon Blog for the cartoon. Alltop is always new and funny.
Maybe this is why Billy Joel thinks honesty is such a lonely word… Alltop sits on a throne of lies. And jokes.
Wrap rage, for all my readers who are unfamiliar with the phenomenon, is the rising anger and dementia that you feel when you are unable to open the shiny new…
You can download the Kindle edition for free, today and Monday only! “Mr. Rayner brings us wit, sarcasm, and a slightly deranged view of the world, as he sees it,…
24,000-22,000 BC: chunky fertility goddess statues (pictured at right: notice the prominent and large brains.) 10,000 BC: cave painting 4,000 BC: ziggurat construction 3,000-1,250 BC: pyramid raising (later revived by…
