Thag not grok god!
The natural world was not a mystery — when it rained, they got wet. If they were in the mountains, rain was dangerous because it would swell the streams, making…
Mark A. Rayner
Thag do meditation!
Every morning before they started the hunt, Thag would sit down away from the others, close his eyes, and listen to the wind. It was more than that, but that…
Thag want be millionaire!
It had been an unlucky hunting season. First of all, their big man, Grunk, got himself gored by a woolly rhinoceros in the first week of the expedition. Grunk —…
Engineering an obesity epidemic
How would you react if I told you it wasn’t your fault you’re fat? Not entirely, anyway. Not the way that the medical profession or society at large would have…
Thag make sex toy!
Thag was preparing himself for a long hunting trip. He’d already sharpened his fire-hardened spear, and collected fresh grasses for insulating his clothes and moccasins. The last thing he needed…
Should we boycott the Olympics in Russia?
Absolutely! I think it’s disgraceful the way that Russia treats its gay and lesbian citizens. On top of that, I don’t think the Ruskies have any idea how many figure…
Tell Me About Your Mother
You awake each morning screaming, your mouth dry and your eyes red from the tears that bath your Pillow of Ennui. You had the dream again. Of falling. Of dogs…
An Outraged Diner Emails the In-Vitro Café
From: wally42@yaboo.com To: owner@invitrocafe.com Subject: Suing your restaurant Dear Proprietor, My wife and I managed to get a table at the grand opening of your establishment last night, and we…
The New Clone 12000 Helmet Finally Comes to Market
This fully functional metro-wanker-clone helmet will render your enemies helpless with laughter, right before you incinerate their lower intestines. Two Gigilo-Hertz-powered ocular particle beams makes the Clone 12000 more devastating…
Come on Baby, Do the Locomotion
Capable of doing zero-to-sixty in less than ten seconds, the Flannigan Repto-Buggy was a big seller right after President Rutherford B. Hayes started building the Great Chicken Highway. Thousands of…
Pallas Athena, Goddess of Wisdom and Nerds
She sprang from the cranium of Zeus himself, a divine thought found form, and a blessing unto the Gods, the philosophers of men, and the City of Athens. She was…
Review: The Silence of Animals
My rating: 3.5 of 5 stars In 1961 Martin Luther King Jr. told an audience on the New York University campus: “Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable… Every step…
Daisy, Daisy, Call on the Cthulu
At first, everyone was really excited when Daisy Stagbys joined the Brighton Cycling Society. She was young, hot, and had a four-seater. And then, when she suggested that she had…
The long course of civilization
“With the collapse of totalitarian empires, we believed that living together, peace, pluralism, and human rights would gain the ascendancy and the world would leave behind holocausts, genocides, invasions, and…
Eventually, you’re going to need a robo-nun
Eucrecia was pretty exciting about her transformation into a Happy Ending Pleasure Bot, but the nice men at Zina-Works 3000 were having problems with the fittings. It was delicate work.…
Robots need love too
Seriously. Robots need love too! If we’re going to survive the coming Toaster Uprising, then we have to love our robots. We have to instill them with love. It’s really…
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs for Robots
I’m not sure that robots need food, but the rest of this seems accurate, particularly the top. Some of the robots despense food. Alltop is a self-actualized chatbot. More of…
I want my mummy
Dr. Fleshrender had been trying to learn ancient Egyptian mummification techniques for years, but he’d yet to master even the most basic principles. First of all, he just wasn’t into…
Twenty-Eight Tequilas Later
The party got out of hand roughly the same time Professor Lunchbender decided to create the “ultimate” knob robot. Of course, you had to admire any affaire that required the…