Dynastic Ambitions
Reginald Tweedsmuire had invented the tongue depressor, tongue scraper and uvula tickler (better known as the Roman Weight Management Apparatus), and he was said to be in line for a…
Mark A. Rayner
Three kick-ass e-reader uses: a writer’s list
There’s tons of advice out for how to use your e-reader more effectively, but I thought I’d throw out this short list because these things have changed my life. They’ve…
How many pirate jokes are lame?
Most of them ARRRRRR! —————– To err is human. To ARRR is pirate. ——————— How do you know if you are a Pirate? You don’t, you just AAARRRRR! —————— If…
How to Play Monkey-Robot-Pirate-Ninja-Zombie (moropinzee)
In honour of Talk Like a Pirate Day, I thought I’d revisit my version of the classic rock-paper-scissors, or rochambeau, as it is sometimes known. As you can see from…
Magic monkey time!
To get the full effect of this magical, awesome monkey moment, you will want to play the soundclip, and then scroll back up so you can only see the monkey:…
Bubble Mode
As a form of travel, giant soap bubble is suited to Buddhist monks, toddlers, and whimsical characters from children’s stories. It is not recommended for 60-year-old podiatrists with catastrophic waxy…
The nit-pickers always can find something
In high school we parodied For Whom the Bell Tolls relentlessly: “Que va, what a cafeteria lunch that is.” “Truly, it is a cafeteria lunch.” “That is a cafeteria lunch…
How many humans ever lived?
This infographic supplies an estimate for how many human beings ever lived. (140 billion) And if that sounds like an astonishing number, imagine how crowded the planet would be if…
Thag angry! Teenager bad!
Having settled the issue of if the members of the Thunka Grunka tribe had free will or not, Thag settled back into life with his tribe. For once, it was…
Thag grok free will!
The journey back to the Thunka Grunkas had been a long and difficult one, but Thag had finally returned from his sabbatical with the Drunka Grunkas, learning how to make…
Thag not talk much!
Thag’s year with the Drunka Grunka was drawing to a close, and he was almost ready to head back to his own tribe, the Thunka Grunkas. His relationship with the…
Thag grok cow!
Thag’s sabbatical with the Drunka Grunka tribe was not as idyllic as he thought it was going to be, but on the whole, he was quite enjoying his stay. First…
Thag not grok big bottoms!
The trip back to the Drunka Grunka’s lands would be a long one — of all the Grunka tribes, the Drunkas lived the farthest away from the place of the…
Thag not grok milk!
Thag really was starting to enjoy the Grunka gathering. His mate, Onga, was behaving herself, and even the new religion of his tribe’s shaman, Weasel-Scratch-Face-Brother wasn’t bothering him anymore. Every…
Thag Go Grunka Gathering!
Everyone at the Grunka Gathering was in good spirits, except Thag. Every fifth or sixth summer, depending on the position of the stars, all of the Grunka clans would gather…
Thag sleep on it!
It had finally happened. No, the Thunka Grunka Clan was not about to finally get rid of that walking meat stick, the shaman Weasel-Scratch-Face Brother. It was not nearly such…
Thag not like politcs!
Thag had made his decision — he was not taking Onga back, even if the shaman, Weasel-Scratch-Face-Brother, insisted. Thag could see why Weasel wanted him to take her back; Onga…
Thag not wear hair gel!
If he were honest, Thag would say that his affair with the nubile Vunga, the half-daughter of the shaman, could not last forever. Not only was she was at least…
Thag do art!
Ever since he’d started making the cave paintings, Thag had noticed that the women in the Thunka Grunka clan had been looking at him differently. Perhaps it was his position…
The Bellerephon Problem
After murdering his brother for eating all the Cheetos, Bellerephon was exiled from Corinth. (A city famed for its Elvis impersonators and Class 5 Full-Roaming Vapor Ghosts.) Then his luck…