Sources on Toronto Police Services Board confirmed today that an investigation has been initiated into “libel, slander, and ad hominem attacks” on Toronto co-mayor Rob Ford. Police discovered an intentional effort to paint Mr. Ford as a fitness buff and a vegetarian. Stories have surfaced that he has been seen at a downtown health club during lunch hours, and that he has been shopping at the Vital Planet health food store.

The identity of Mr. Ford’s accuser has police baffled. “This is the sort of thing that could snowball”, added one insider. “Someone is trying to make him look like a health fanatic. It could get out of hand.” Even if the rumours are shown to lack proper foundation, Mr. Ford’s reputation could be irreparably tarnished before the truth is known.

Mr. Ford is anxious to get back to the task at hand