centre of the universe: Danger Zone

Please go read this article (https://www.huffingtonpost.com/gretchen-kelly/the-thing-all-women-do-you-dont-know-about_b_8630416.html). I’ll wait. If you’re already on Twitter, you’ve seen this already. I spent about a decade trying to look not-female (which was tough, given my body shape) and being very angry that I couldn’t go out to the club or the bar without having to be “on guard”. I was…

centre of the universe: Acting Your Age

Here’s the thing. We live in a society that values youth over experience, wisdom, ability and knowledge. I’m not sure why we do that, but children are more valuable to us than non-children, which also translates into vilifying people who opt not to breed. There’s a whole bunch going on in this statement, and I…

centre of the universe: Fuck Libraries

The Saskatchewan government, in its 2017/18 budget, has slashed library budgets around the province. Its done all kinds of other things too like force civil servants to take a 3.5% cut in pay, shut down the only highway bus transportation service in the province, increase the provincial sales tax, and basically pissed off pretty much…

centre of the universe: Cardboard cutout

I’ve heard a lot of stupid things in my time. Hell, I’ve probably said more stupid things than a really large number of people who’ve said stupid things, combined with an equally large, or possibly larger, number of people who’ve said stupid things. Don’t believe me? Okay, how’s this: Grade 10. The Long-Suffering Sarah and…

centre of the universe: Bikini, Burkini – Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off

– initially entered as a series of ranty comments on an effbook post – I don’t care WHAT your religion is, or isn’t – no government has the right to tell anybody how to dress. So the government of France doesn’t have any more right to tell people what they can wear at the beach…

centre of the universe: centre of the universe 2015-07-14 12:38:08

Dear effbook: I know we don’t know each other very well. I mean. You hardly notice me except when you want to force me to shut down my primary account shortly after I’ve given you money for advertising, but whatever. I’m not bitter. Okay, I’m a little bitter, but you can hardly blame me. You’re ...

centre of the universe: Addendum

Okay, so following the breaking news yesterday that one of the fellows who thought it was a laugh riot to shout “Fuck her in the pussy” at a television camera pointed at a female reporter (a friend mentioned that this has happened to male reporters too; I am now aware of one instance of that ...

centre of the universe: Waitaminute, do what to whom? In the where?

TL:DR – (sexual) harassment isn’t funny. It’s illegal.

centre of the universe: Unpopular

I’m a little reticent to post this, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about lately. I think I’m ready for all the trolls and hate and malarky. I get that what I’m about to say is an incredibly unpopular opinion, and that probably I don’t understand the details and am putting my own family’s lives ...

centre of the universe: I didn’t know it would be that bad.

Then I started thinking, with all the hullaballoo about the Alberta election, someone should make one of those “Hitler reacts” videos. Because, you know, that’s never been done before. Turns out I’m actually a pretty horrible person.

centre of the universe: Be Careful What You Don’t Ask For

Not even three full years after enacting moderately sexist “Frat House Legislation“, Premier Brad Wall announced that his government had “reversed our mistake to allow strip clubs in SK.” With a rather smug nod to the reason being related to human trafficking, without any …whattayacallit… proof or supporting documentation whatsoever, without any public consultation other ...

centre of the universe: Same same?

TL:DR version – learn your history before you shoot off at the mouth.

centre of the universe: Saskatchewan Racist as Fuck No Surprise To Anyone But Folks Who Don’t Like Indians

Yeah, I stole the title from my own Twitter stream. I’ve seen these headlines over the last couple of days that talk about how SHOCKED everyone is to find out that SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH has PROVEN that Saskatchewan is full of people who pretty much hate each other. This should come as no surprise to anyone ...

centre of the universe: You’re to Blame

I wasn’t going to say anything about this, but as usual, semantics made me do it. Because we live in a free and democratic first-world country (except for those places you don’t want to walk through), you get to choose not to vaccinate your children, and your reasons for that don’t matter. Good for you. ...

centre of the universe: Great Tracts of Land

This was another one of those yelly-at-the-radio days. Listen, it isn’t very often that I’m actually *ashamed* of the place that I choose to live. I love this place 98% of the time. But then some ninny axes a film employment tax credit or some jackass starts up a petition against frigging strip clubs and ...

centre of the universe: No Public Telephone

My Internets died today. And then my phones died. And the only way I knew my phone died was when #HisNibs texted me to ask why nobody was answering the phone. And I said, “you mean the phone that hasn’t rung all…ohhhhh…” So I called SaskTel, who is our phone and Internet provider. They were ...

centre of the universe: Erosion

The dude on the news was talking about a recent study that seems to say that people with University degrees are earning less than people with high school degrees. Guy then goes on to say that University grads make more but that people with high school diplomas have received more pay rises, which has resulted ...

centre of the universe: Sacrifice?

See, the thing is, when I chose to become a parent, I did not think in terms of “sacrifice”. I did not think in terms of “giving things up”. It wasn’t about not being able to go out partying with my bee eff effs. It wasn’t about not eating hot food. It wasn’t about giving ...

centre of the universe: Competition?

Hi cenobyte, How have you been? I understand you only wanted to communicate to your previous consultant but I am emailing you now check on the update for your book. We are celebrating our 17th anniversary this month and we’re giving out almost more than 50% discount. I am not sure if you are particular ...

centre of the universe: NATHAN, WHERE ARE YOU?

In January, I was contacted by Ex Libris, a vanity press that uses extremely aggressive marketing techniques to bilk writers out of their hard-earned income. I have asked repeatedly to be taken off of their contact lists, to no avial. When they contacted me in January 2014, I began a lengthy correspondence with my contact ...

centre of the universe: Red Light District

Recently the media in our province did, if you will pardon the pun, an “expose” on the colloquial massage parlours. These are not the offices and suites of Registered Massage Therapists. We’re talking about rub ‘n’ tug establishments here. Whorehouses. Brothels. Here’s the deal – the province’s largest city (Saskatoon) has opted to license and ...

centre of the universe: Dear Nathan – IMPORTANT INFORMATION

I got a phone message from Nathan! (The ‘consultant’ Ex Libris has assigned to my book.) It was the same voice mail that he’s left the past three or four times he’s called. He’s very persistent. Unfortunately for Nathan, I don’t answer telephone calls for which I do not recognize the phone number. Fortunately for ...

centre of the universe: Dear Nathan – Editors

Dear Nathan, I was thinking about who you should get to edit my manifesto. I mean manuscript. My eleventh grade English teacher came to mind, but after she was accused of gross vandalism, criminal harassment, stalking, and destruction of property … Continue reading →

centre of the universe: Dear Nathan

A few years ago, I decided to engage in some corporate espionage. I work in the field of book publishing, and I had been hearing rather a lot about vanity presses like Ex Libris. Normally, I don’t like naming the … Continue reading →

centre of the universe: Pour some sugar on me

Here’s the thing. I have eliminated nearly all sugar from my diet for the past three months. This is not easy to do. It’s not like just giving up soda and not putting sugar in your coffee. There is sugar in nearly everything that’s commercially available, including sauces, meats, breads, soups…pretty much everything that’s “packaged” ...