An excerpt from the convention speech Prime Minister Harper will deliver to CPC delegates on Friday: I now turn from our Party’s great achievements and our plans for the next decade to offer a few words about this Senate business. In the last few weeks Canadians have watched the nightly
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DISSTEMPER: Air Canada loses special PMO cargo
For the third time in as many weeks, Air Canada has brought tears to those who prefer their cargo safely restrained in a cage. This time the loss occurred in Bali, Indonesia, where Prime Minister Stephen Harper was attending the final day of the Asia-Pacific Economic Co-operation Summit. In a
Continue readingDISSTEMPER: Dumpster diving yields PMO secrets
In the course of his daily research, a CTV News reporter discovered this extraordinary document from the Prime Minister’s Office. The document, with marginal notes in Stephen Harper’s controlled hand, contains consecutive drafts of the opening paragraph of the Prime Minister’s planned remarks to the upcoming Conservative Party of Canada
Continue readingDISSTEMPER: Stephen Harper makes a joke
Pierre Poilievre named Minister of State for Democratic Reform.
Continue readingDISSTEMPER: A Place to Call Home
NEWSFLASH! CBC News is reporting that as innumerable Conservative scandals became public in the month of May, Stephen Harper, leader of Canada’s Foundling Party, quietly applied to 21 nations for political asylum. According to recordings obtained via an unnamed source within the U. S. National Security Agency, Mr. Harper told
Continue readingDISSTEMPER: Trafficking on The Hill
As President of the Parliament Hill Driving School, I am pleased to announce that our company is now offering two new courses to our growing customer base in the House of Commons. Our exciting new courses are as follows: The Mulcair Momentum Course Taught in an unapologetically aggressive style, The
Continue readingDISSTEMPER: Split that personality!
The NSA records a private PMO conversation Harper: I just read that Tom Flanagan called me secretive, suspicious, vindictive and ruthless. He’s what I call a real pal, but lately I’ve been hearing that not every Canadian voter gets my good points like he does. Anyway, it’s got me thinking
Continue readingDISSTEMPER: The Free Ride is Over
In a release to the media, Prime Minister Stephen Harper has said that Canadians will no longer have unrestricted access to federal representatives and services. “As you know, the Opposition parties in the House of Commons continue to obstruct the Conservative Party’s progressive business agenda with ridiculous requests for consultation
Continue readingDISSTEMPER: Depression grips Conservative caucus
“Caucus is horrifically depressed. They are more depressed than angry,” said one Conservative insider, who did not want to be identified. “It’s hurting the government, it’s a distraction. It’s hurting the Conservative brand and the party more than the government because it’s a fundamental to who we are as Conservatives.
Continue readingDISSTEMPER: The Crockatteer speaks out
Joan (@Crockatteer) Crockatt, the rookie Member of Parliament who almost failed to win a safe Calgary seat last fall because she forgot to campaign, reflects on yesterday’s Conservative caucus meeting: “I was so excited to be there. I mean, like, in his actual presence and all. Wasn’t he masterful? I
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