Original photo by Rachel.
Continue readingAuthor: Mark A. Rayner
mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Tweeting in two places may break my brain
And god help me if I ever get confused! "When my brother and I go to the swinging singles bar, we look for the girls with the dog poopie on their shoes… " pic.twitter.com/ZUmCPUBjk4 — Mark A. Rayner (@markarayner) October … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Academic Dumas-ery
Kane X. Faucher’s latest novel is a brilliant adaptation the classic Alexander Dumas tale of revenge, The Count of Monte Cristo. I’ve always loved the original, and Faucher’s book is a wonderful satire that cleaves to the original plot so … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Why do lit-ah-rary types look down on SF
So what is it about science fiction that causes “literary” types to look down upon it? Like any genre, SF has its bad and good. No scratch that, like any writing, there is both bad and good. I’ve read plenty … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Ask General Kang: Do you own a typewriter? And do you have 999,999 co-workers?
I have neither, nor do I have an infinite amount of time, so don’t expect to see me write Hamlet anytime soon. I do, however, have this gripping script about an intergalactic overlord who comes to Earth, starts writing an … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: The Flash and Superman Race to See Who’s Fastest
Pretty sure you don’t want to use a loaded pistol as a starter gun… Alltop is always loaded.
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Ask General Kang: How can I get more respect?
It depends on how much respect you’re looking for, really. I mean, if you just want your friends, family and neighbours to respect you then it should be pretty easy. From what I can see, your smaller primate groupings here … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Apocalypse Cow
Never get out of the boat. Absolutely goddamn right. Unless you were going all the way. Kurtz got off the boat. He split from the whole fuckin’ program. And me? I was off the boat the same time as Kurtz. … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: A whooshing screensaver
This quote always makes me feel better when time is slipping by on a project that’s due soon. Alltop is a humor project that’s due.
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Film History 2035E: Yer Whippin’ It, Pilgrim: Critical Analysis of Devonic Headgear in Classic Hollywood Westerns
2 baffling lecture hours and a 1-hour tutorial in which your TA will try to make sense of it all This course will examine, through critical analysis of the films of Ford, Sturges, Peckinpah and Whoopzingo, the counter-temporal influences of … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Great Canadian TV Trivia – The Littlest Hobo
The Littlest Hobo original cast and theme song did not test especially well. There’s a voice that keeps on calling me Down the road is where I’ll always be Every stop I make, I’ll make a new friend Can’t stay … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Fly the Flensing Skies
In the late 1960′s Albanian Airlines’ passengers had overwhelmingly rejected their, “only a sissy needs a seatbelt,” marketing slogan. Their subsequent efforts were equally ineffective at increasing their revenues, including the following notions: no alcohol or tobacco on our flights, … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Leonides and the papier-mâché spatula
Gregorina awoke that morning feeling stranger than usual. She’d had vivid dreams of ravaging Leonides, their local butcher, with his own meat tenderizer. In the dream – or perhaps it would do her good to think of it as a … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Chariot of the Gords
As we all know, Canada is replete with Gords. Per capita, the “Great White North,” as it is known to hosers, carpetbaggers and avuncular entomographers everywhere, has the highest density of Gords of any country in the known surface world. … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Summer Reading Sale!
If you prefer your books in dead tree format, do I have a deal for you. Three of my books are available for 25% off! Get all the deets here. Alltop was originally published in parchment.
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Protected: Disquieting Postcards I’ve Recently Received from My Future Self
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Ask General Kang: If my foreign policy is a failure, do I have to admit it?
Hell no! If you can’t blame the failures of your policy on some flunky (or opposition party, if you’re unlucky enough to be ruling in a “democracy”) then what kind of leader are you? The best option is to say … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Death by gluten
Alltop is chewy with humor.
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Before the Internet
Normally, I just nod my head in agreement with xkcd, but in this case, I must take exception. Before the Internet, life was much more exciting. There were things to do — the hard way — and much to accomplish. … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Ask General Kang: I’m sick of school, but should I go to university anyway?
Absolutely! Just because you’re tired of people lecturing you, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t continue to subject yourself to it for another three or four years. Some of your Earth “experts” claim that 63 percent of all new jobs will require … Continue reading →
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