BangingEveryLever
InAFluorescentHazeVille
Normally, I would rather poke myself in the eyes with sharp sticks than go there.
But today I had to.
Go there, I mean.
And I did not buy a bloody thing.
You see, because the DMV office closest to where I work is out of commission, I had to go all the way out to the office located off just off Kingsway, at Metrotown, to renew my drivers’ license on a Saturday.
And once I got into the office it was a piece of cake. In fact, the folks working there were efficient and polite to all concerned.
Including me.
But Mein Gott in the Himalayas, the getting in and out that office was nothing short of a nightmare dipped in a million tiny amygdala-homing needles laced with spongiform encephalitic string-warts dipped in tabasco sauce mixed with nine million molar phosphoric acid.
Thus, I really have only one thing to say about the place which, to first sample, and then mangle, the good Docktor, is the following:
“Metrotown is what the whole hep world would be doing on Saturday afternoons if the Nazis had won the war.”
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For those non-Lotuslandian out there, Metrotown is our own perversely anti-private Idahoan fishnet and toddler toy emporium that is actually a replicant-laced version of the set of Blade Runner that also houses a near-suburban mall teeming with hundreds of shops disguised as Pachinko Palaces that sell nothing but crap to thousands upon thousands of lever bangers that have been convinced that they need all of it….One really has to wonder if the Sixth Reich is truly upon us given that….. ‘The madness goes on and on and nobody seems to notice.’
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