Crappy weekend, everybody! Anybody know if your phone was hacked? Because if it was, I have a sneaking suspicion who done it. He’s listed below…along with a few OTHER hackers (or wannabes), and a lot of people that I just can’t hack the sight of anymore…
1. Whoever the fuck is behind the tweet-rumor of Barack Obama’s assassination. As you can probably tell, His Barackness is still alive and well, with no gunshot wounds anywhere. I don’t know what point they were trying to prove (other than that FUX Snooze is a joke, which should be abundantly clear to anyone seeing their “news reporting”), but I do believe it’s an Epic Fail. Trolling is a wank, no matter who’s doing it or why. PS: Especially if the Secret Service has to get involved.
2. Giorgio Fucking Mammoliti. Oh, looky. Rob Ford’s homophobic pro-Israel bootlicker decided that the best way to celebrate Toronto’s Pride festivities…was to stalk the Dyke March with a camcorder. Looking for some hot girl-on-girl action, Georgie? Oh, I see what you were doing there: You were looking for “evidence” that the female QuAIA contingent, marching and chanting against Israeli apartheid, was “really” antisemitic. And now, based on your non-findings, you want to yank ALL the city’s Pride TO funding? I believe the phrase “vindictive little shit” just about covers it.
3. Yitzchok Fucking Zilberstein. Advising girls to injure their legs so they can “dress modestly” is just about as ridiculous as religion can get, short of killing all the unbelievers and saying that God told you to. (Which the Big Three patriarchies have all done, at one point or another; that’s why I’m a pagan. We have no such projections going on.) But you know what wouldn’t surprise me? If this same rabbi turned around and criticized Muslim girls for wearing veils. BTW, aren’t trousers modest, since they completely cover the legs? And don’t most girls prefer to wear jeans, anyway?
4. This fucking (unnamed) teabag in Kenfuckingtucky. Way to do your state “proud”, dillweed. But hey, at least your “Yup, I’m a racist” shirt is honest! Now how about also selling one that reads “Yup, I’m a stupid-ass inbred piece of shit”?
5. Michele Fucking Bachmann. Not only did she flunk her own country’s history, she flunks ours, too. AND economics. But the teabags (see #4) MUST have their joke candidate, so we all have to grit our teeth for about another year and a half before we get to breathe easy (and snicker). PS: Banning pornography? Great! Start with the Bible. It’s got more obscenity than Henry Miller and the Marquis de Sade combined. Rape, incest, murder, genocide, hate-mongering…it’s all in there! PPS: Nice defence of SLAVERY too, Bitchy Mitchie.
6. William Fucking Saletan. No, you pontificating twat, the Dominque Strauss-Kahn farce is NOT a “victory for justice”. For the very simple reason that justice has not been done, much less seen to be done. He should still be in jail, and instead, he’s getting off without even a slap on the wrist. Meanwhile, there is very real physical evidence that his victim was, indeed, raped. And now that’s probably not even going to make it into the legal record. In short, the system failed. And it failed precisely because he is a rich famous man, while she is Ms. Nobody — an immigrant who didn’t have the right puppy papers to prove her refugee claim (largely because trying to protect one’s daughter from genital mutilation isn’t considered grounds for granting refugee status — a sickeningly sexist view in itself). And for something as stupid as this, a credible rape charge is now going to be dropped. What the fuck kind of “victory for justice” is THAT? It might be a victory for a labyrinth of institutionalized impunity for wealthy white males, but that’s not justice.
7. Ghulam Nabi Fucking Azad. Most incompetent health minister on Earth? Quite possibly. At the very least, one of the worst-informed. For the umpteen hundred and umpty-umpth time, people: Homosexuality is NOT a disease. You can’t catch it, much less from “the decadent West”. It’s a natural variation, you are born with it, it can’t be erased, one person in ten has it, and it is thus quite natural and normal. And if you don’t believe me, ask any gay Indian. There are plenty of those, and always have been, since India is one of the most populous countries on Earth. And institutionalized homophobia does nothing to help the large population of HIV-infected people there; in fact, it actively hinders their seeking and getting help. PS: Late night TV is NOT a substitute for adequate birth control, either.
8. Adrian Fucking Lamo, AGAIN. Bradley Manning is “a traitor at best”? The US’s gunboat “diplomacy” and support of brutal Middle Eastern dictators is an effort to “make the world a better place”? What a dissociated fucking knob. Bradley Manning is a hero on so many fronts by now that it’s almost unbelievable: the “Collateral Murder” video has ripped off countless people’s blinders, the pro-war bloggers are in retreat because of it, and the leaked US embassy cable have triggered several of the Arab Spring revolts. This young soldier deserves to be freed from prison immediately. He also deserves a medal (obviously, NOT from his country’s government, but from some untainted source). Lamo, on the other hand, deserves all the derision he’s getting and then some.
9. David Fucking Duke. Yes, kiddies, he’s gonna run for president of the Confederate States of America. On the White Sheet Party ticket, natch. Hence the tour of only HALF the states…the other half, of course, being the Union. (And Christ, what’s with the hair? It looks like a possum died on his head!) PS: Hoo-WEE, look who just made himself unelectable! Thanks, Conspiracy Nut!
10. Michael Fucking Major. Dumbest little tool that ever “hacked”? Quite possibly. Using your own Facebook page to ping from is a great way of letting the FBI know exactly where to find you, dumbass. Also not smart: Shoplifting shoes, and harassing women, and then, when they complain that you threatened them, claiming they’re all just jealous bitches who are still hot for your oh-so-impressive scrawny little bod.
11. Kim Fucking Kardashian. Actually, she’s ALWAYS a wanker…but this sweet piece of pwnage was particularly well deserved:
And in case you wonder why, here you go. Yeah, SHE should talk, eh?
12. Bobby Fucking Jindal. What the fuck does “culture of life” mean? Basically, nothing…nothing less than the total humiliation, slut-shaming and outright criminalization of women, that is. Shame, SHAME on Louisiana for putting one more stupid, irrational abortion law in place, on top of all the other unnecessary abortion laws. And yes, abortion laws are ALL unnecessary. Mistrust of women should NEVER be legislated!
13. Rupert Fucking Murdoch. Crap journalism that fills people’s heads with false beliefs, false hopes and equally false fears has always been his stock in trade. Now, he’s likely to be found guilty of obstructing the investigation into the disappearance of 13-year-old Milly Dowler, whose body was only located 6 months later. The obstruction? A cellphone hack in which some old voice-mail messages directed to Milly were deleted, so that new ones could be received. This led to false hope that Milly was still alive and editing her voice-mails, when in all likelihood she was either already dead or unable to reach her phone. False hope for the parents, and false leads for the police — pure evil! But worst of all is that this was part of a regular process at Rupee’s dirty (and now defunct) tabloid, News of the World. Famous people’s phones were also hacked, in the hopes of gaining a hot scoop…and an unfair edge on the Fleet Street competition. Payback for this is gonna get sooooooo nasty. If it would only land Rupee in the poorhouse, so much the fucking better. But what are the odds? People, it’s time to boycott any and ALL Murdoch-owned media outlets. And put pressure on advertisers, too. It got Glenn Beck off the air, it can bring down the FUX Snooze house of cards.
PS: HOLY MOLY!
14. Orrin Fucking Hatch. Unbefuckinglievable: He thinks the poor should pay off the debt? With WHAT? In case he doesn’t realize it yet, THEY HAVE NO MONEY. And if they don’t, guess who does…and whose job it therefore is to pay off the debt with what they stole from the poor? But ‘Bina, you may say, why get worked up about this? This is the right-wing solution to everything: Crush the poor, crush the poor, crush the poor. Get a job, you fucking bums. Don’t rely on social programs to help you make ends meet; learn to live with dangling ends, dammit! Because lord knows, the super-fucking-rich have it so much harder! Christ, their servants all have chronic hernias from lugging all those moneybags around. Don’t they get any sympathy at all? And why is it THEIR job to create jobs that will get the poor out of the hole, anyway? Oh yeah: Because they’re the fucking rich, the saviors of us all, according to Urine Hatch. That’s why. (Ain’t Repugnican logic wonderful? Tries to have it both ways, and ends up having it neither.)
15. Stephen Fucking Reeves. Obsess much? Yes, folks, he’s at it again. This time, trolling Antonia Zerbisias under a fake Twitter ID. How classy! Let’s see how long THAT lasts. PS: Antonia writes: “Stephen Reeves is my Internet stalker who has started two blogs about me although the most recent one has disappeared. He is a self-hating gay man who is into speaking Cornish and clearly a misogynist. Google his name and Cornish. Here is one of his personae on Twitter: http://www.facebook.com/l/lAQAc1geW/twitter.com/coynt He has been banned from various boards, forums and blogging software over the tears for abuse. He is also incredibly stupid because he leaves a trail not of breadcrumbs but of whole loaves. Here is his latest effort on me, now gone pouf. http://www.facebook.com/l/5AQCEMpBO/keltack.typepad.com/not_zerbisias/ If you go to the Internet Wayback Machine you will find a treasure trove of his crazy. keltack.typepad.com/ Now his latest blog describes him as a ”Gay Rebel” http://www.facebook.com/l/aAQBbZcO6/keltack.typepad.com/ If anybody would like his email addresses, I would be happy to supply them.” Thanks, that was very entertaining, but I think I’ll take a pass on the addies. The last thing I need is to be cyberstalked in Cornish.
16. Barbara Fucking Kay. She must have creamed her panty-girdle at the prospect of getting to “legitimately” shower her racist bile on none other than Alice Walker; it sounds like she’s been nursing a hate-on against her ever since The Color Purple came out. What a pity she chose to couch it in bogus factoids! As a matter of fact, Babs, Gaza is NOT “growing more prosperous by the day”. Unemployment now stands at close to 50%, thanks to population increases and workforce growth, and Israel’s deliberate choking of jobs for Gazans over 15 since the siege began in 2006. Oh, and wages in Gaza have dropped by half. And they’re being forced to buy mainly Israeli crap, since Israel controls everything that enters the borders. But then again, I guess you don’t care for the UN’s own findings. After all, if Israel says it, you believe it, and that settles it — eh, Babs? Oh, and how CLASSY of you to dredge up the troubled relationship of Alice Walker and her own daughter, as if it had anything to do with the subject. Always swing below the belt, that’s how to fight a clean fight for Israel!
17. Bristol Fucking Palin, AGAIN. Yawn, snzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Wake me up when her fifteen minutes are finally over, please. PS: And her mama. Jayzus.
18. David Fucking Britto. Cop of the year busted for dealing crystal meth. Last year, he busted 25 people in 18 narcotics cases. And worse, he was a mentor to troubled and at-risk kids! You just can’t make this shit up, can you?
19. Nat Fucking Rothschild. Excess much? And this, kiddies, in the face of a major recession in Merry Old England, where this bankster hails from. Students are getting their skulls cracked in the streets of London protesting the likes of him. Little wonder he’s fucked off to celebrate his big four-oh in the former Yugoslav republic of Montenegro, where nobody expects much of a trickle-down and the locals are too dispirited to revolt, eh? Now, I don’t believe in literally eating the rich; the cholesterol and triglycerides would play havoc with my arteries. But when the Revolution finally does come, and this one is strangled with the entrails of Rupee Murdoch, I get dibs on that fuckin’ swimming pool!
20. Fucking Twi-Hards. Srsly, these nerdy kids are fucking psycho. (Yes, I’m now officially Team Anti. Or Team Harry Potter, if you will.) I grew up in an age when vampires were evil, not emo. And none of them sparkled, and they certainly didn’t sell tinted lipgloss. They drank virgins’ blood, slept in coffins by day, turned into bats by night, terrorized the innocent, and got stakes driven through their hearts in the end, as any respectable vampire should. Any questions?
21. Fucking Aussie parliamentarians. Or at least the male ones, who seem to have developed an unseemly habit of meowing at their female counterparts. What fucking century is this, anyway? And what fucking species are YOU?
22. James Fucking Delingpole, AGAIN. Speaking of unseemly meowing, you know what I find nauseating — or, in your own words, “emetic” and “putrescent cant”? You sleazy corporatist crapaganda spouters with your wingnut-welfare columns, where you get paid big bucks to be a complete know-nothing at the top of your wheezy widdle lungs. You are a disgrace to politics and journalism both. And your “opinions” are a disgrace to the whole concept of thought. Get a REAL job, why don’t you? Start with basic shoe-leather journalism, the kind that deals in actual facts — a concept utterly foreign to you, I know, but trust me, it’ll do you good. And stop your fucking whining, you effete little simp. There is absolutely no such thing as “a thoughtful piece in defence of tabloid journalism”! That’s because all tabloid “journalism” is a sinecure for the richest right-wing bastards of all (i.e. not you, Jimmy-boy) to hide behind the constantly swirling miasma of class envy and Schadenfreude that they stoke among poor working-class chumps against celebrities. Who, truth be told, are nowhere near as rich, powerful or privileged as the anonymous tycoons actually running the show. And that’s one scandal we’ll never hear any tabloid newsman tell. Why would they, when there are phones to be hacked, private lives to be invaded, and class resentments to be stoked in the name of false populism, with nary a word of serious analysis (because that would be Marxist) to make sense of it all? Yeah, Jimbo, cry us a fucking river about how we evil, horrible, sickening lefties are not in favor of free speech and open, honest debate. I bet you’ve never opened a Socialist Worker in your life for fear of what you’d find within (and quite rightly; they deal in FACT). Hence this ridiculous strawman argument, which has become your entire stock in trade. How about telling us how much the Torygraph pays you to spin such utter bunkum? That is, when you’re done trying to silence us all with your emetic, putrescent (and downright supercilious) cant?
23. Peter Fucking Lucas Fucking Moses. Why the double Fucking? Because he’s a double fucking murderer. He killed a woman who couldn’t carry his demon seed, and who wanted out of his cult (can we please stop calling those bastard organizations “religious groups”, BTW?), and a little boy — the latter, allegedly, for “acting gay”. I think the real reason he killed them both was because neither one fed his obscene narcissism adequately. The one showed signs of infertility (and potential independence); the other, rather than actually being a “fruit”, was simply not the fruit of this neo-Koresh’s over-active loins. Can’t have THAT in the cult, can we?
And finally, to the abusive hasbaroid from the UK, who posted here as both “Colin West” and “Rita Pelagrini”. Also “Ritaroo”, “Trixi”, “Eduardo”, and “Tracy” (the last ones, from other IPs, all banned unpublished, seeing as you’ve already had your three strikes, and are awfully slow on the uptake). “Eduardo”, the last incarnation of the troll (at this writing, anyway) calls Israel “THE ONLY MORAL STATE IN THE MIDDLE EAST”. Ain’t he a SCREAM?
Now, here’s the punchline: If the Old Testament is anything to go by, land theft by displacement is nothing new for Israel. (Canaanites, anyone?) The modern state of Israel was founded by Irgun and Stern Gang terrorists; that much is well known. How moral is that? They’ve been stealing Palestinian territories away from those who have lived there for centuries, inch by inch. They engage in a blockade which international legal experts (such as Craig Murray, an expert on sea law) find to be ILLEGAL. They let in just a few paltry supplies, which happen to be nowhere near demand levels, apparently only to get the UN off their backs. (Yeah, that’ll work!) And they damaged the flotilla’s propellers in such a way that the ships could have sunk, killing all on board. AND they buy off the debt-stricken Greek government (for thirty shekels of silver?) to make sure any undamaged vessels don’t leave their moorings. (That’s not including what they did in Dubai a little while back, which is not merely potentially murderous, it is MURDER.)
What the hell kind of “morality” is that? If that’s what you call “moral”, I’d hate to see your idea of immoral.
Whatever your real name is, you’re wasting your long-winded efforts here. And you only embarrass yourself when you call me a fool. (Projection, yeronner!) I’m well versed in Israel’s state-crime history, and getting more so all the time. If I ever want to hear what Boy Scouts the Mossad and the IDF and all the old war criminals squatting in the Knesset are, I will do my own damn googling, thankyouverymuch.
Good night, and get fucked!