An Open Letter to John Hodgman, Minor Celebrity
Dear Judge John Hodgman, I would normally never bother a minor celebrity, but I have a warning to pass along. It may save your life. Last night I had a…
Parody & Satire
Fitted Sheets — Perfectly Cromulent Folding Instructions
Perfectly crumulent indeed. Alltop has trouble with t-shirts too.
Spikey messiah
So does this mean Moses was a stegosaurus? Alltop turns all four cheeks.
How to be a Visionary
At least as far as this mash-up world goes, anyway. (In which running someone else’s cartoon counts as content.) Alltop is a vision of humor. How to be a Visonary,…
Where all the aliens at?
Maybe Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal is onto something here. Perhaps the reason that nobody has visited us yet is because they can’t agree on what they’re going to do with…
Ask General Kang: Apparently, only one in four people read a book last year — how can we improve that figure?
I’d start by disabling the publishing industry in some way — perhaps an elite cadre of pulp-loving squirrels armed with plasma-shredders and capable of firing book worms out of their…
Clown Apocalypse: Buffoonibilism
This isn’t terrifying is it? He looks kinda fun, right? Sure, up until the point he starts to eat your face. One of the mutations of the Bozo Virus that…
Famous Paintings with SF Titles: The Grondak Slayer
Up until recently, many believed this was Rembrandt’s masterpiece. According to most experts, it was likely painted by one of Rembrandt’s students, but it is a virtuoso work none-the-less. The…
What to do with Stonehenge, and other reasons science is good
Don’t forget Stonehenge. They would make some nice landscaping rocks. Alltop is in danger of being crushed by a dwarf.
Clown Apocalypse: The Sexy Cataclysm
The Clown Apocalypse was not universally grim, unless you were coulrophobe with a debilitating fear of clowns. Apart from the moments of hilarity you’d sometimes get when you saw someone…
Cartoons have problems too
I found these amusing, if not particularly sensitive. I DO wonder why Wylie Coyote’s OCD is not mentioned. Here are a few other issues I think worth mentioning. (Note, I…
An explosion of taste
The pastry chef, Seaman First Class Henry Bunders, had been given specific orders: “make a cake that is like a nuclear explosion.” He’d been able to recreate the effect of…
The Beard Wars, an Oral History
“Captain Chiggerson, can you hear me? Captain?” “I can hear you! I’m blind not deaf.” “Sorry Captain, but you didn’t seem to be responding,” the historian asked. He was a…
Byron’s Epic Swims: The Alps
To this day, no one has been able to recreate the feat of naiant heroics that Byron managed in the dark fall of 1816. Having finished buggering Percy Bysshe Shelley…
Improving Old Movies: Roman Holiday
I think Roman Holiday would have been better if stormtroopers were chasing Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck the whole time. And just to be fair, Peck should have some kind…
Don’t blink or you’ll miss the best part
First Look: Ultimate Teaser Trailer for Comedy Bang Bang, the TV show! Comedy Bang Bang is one of my favorite podcasts, so it’s kind of cool to see it turn…
Short conversations: Merlot
Scene: A fancy restaurant. Miles sits with his old friend, Jack, as they wait for their dates to arrive. Waiters bustle around the room efficiently, dressed in black tie and…
What is that all over his economy? Ants!
I’d like to see what Aesop would make of derivatives. Alltop enjoys a good fable.
The League of Peculiar Gentlemen: The Americans
Not to be outdone by their British compatriots, the North American members of the League of Peculiar Gentlemen were also able to strap strange things to their faces. Perhaps the…