Chief Massasoit presents items NOT supplied for the first Thanksgiving, circa 1621 (only slide) deep-fried turkey cranberry sauce potatoes, white or sweet pie of any kind (there were pumpkins, though).…
“Last night I had that terrible dream where I got slowly digested over a 1000 years again. I wonder what it means? But in real world — totally looking forward…
I still think most of these would be whiskey, not coffee. (h/t to Mark Victor Young.) Alltop is a stiff drink of humor.
NEW YORK (The Skwib) — Despite moves to eliminate the use of trans-fats from its fare, Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) is still addictive. “Yes, there is still a problem with…
I’m not sure who this is, Chilliwack, maybe? Or, Jefferson Starship? Anyway, they were a band from the 70s. I encourage you to check out some of my hairy fiction.…
Every time Trooper Jinglo thought about the Death Star, and how he was supposed to be on duty that day, he just needed to cuddle with his dog, Mr. Snuggums.…
LONDON, Ontario (The Skwib) — The web is still reeling from the revelation that a blogger has been pondering things instead of musing about them. “Yeah, I’ve spent a lot…
Stabbing them in the neck with a fountain pen works too … Alltop is writing up the funny!
The alien on the right is thinking: “My agent is so fired.” The one on the left? He’s just experimenting with his knobs. Alltop loves a good knob experiment!
These baby gas masks are so easy to put on, you won’t even wake them up, when you slip your wee bundle of joy into it. Just be prepared for…
Dr. Maximilian Tundra had never felt so paranoid. Earlier that day he’d lost his medical license; luckily, he also had a PhD in biochemistry, so he would still get everyone…
This comic does in one cartoon what the first chapter of Debt, the First 5000 Years does (pretty well) in one chapter. Alltop is a macro-humor generator.
Constable Bertie Twills had no idea how to write a citation for jaywalking aliens, so he just turned his back and pretended not to see them. His partner, Constable “Jimmy”…
In high school we parodied For Whom the Bell Tolls relentlessly: “Que va, what a cafeteria lunch that is.” “Truly, it is a cafeteria lunch.” “That is a cafeteria lunch…
After murdering his brother for eating all the Cheetos, Bellerephon was exiled from Corinth. (A city famed for its Elvis impersonators and Class 5 Full-Roaming Vapor Ghosts.) Then his luck…
The natural world was not a mystery — when it rained, they got wet. If they were in the mountains, rain was dangerous because it would swell the streams, making…
This fully functional metro-wanker-clone helmet will render your enemies helpless with laughter, right before you incinerate their lower intestines. Two Gigilo-Hertz-powered ocular particle beams makes the Clone 12000 more devastating…
She sprang from the cranium of Zeus himself, a divine thought found form, and a blessing unto the Gods, the philosophers of men, and the City of Athens. She was…
Eucrecia was pretty exciting about her transformation into a Happy Ending Pleasure Bot, but the nice men at Zina-Works 3000 were having problems with the fittings. It was delicate work.…
Seriously. Robots need love too! If we’re going to survive the coming Toaster Uprising, then we have to love our robots. We have to instill them with love. It’s really…
