Toulouse Le Grandfig’s Summer Vacation: Birdman
January 22, 1978 It appears that in the future, the world is inhabited by a strange race of bird people. I am a happy fellow indeed! Lok-laach-do is my boon…
Mark A. Rayner
Bill Cosby: Right, Noah’s Ark
Each afternoon I’m going to post a video of some classic comedy bits. This one always made me laugh, though there is so much more to do with Noah. (You…
Toulouse Le Grandfig’s Summer Vacation: Cochlea
January 12, 1932 Our first port of call was Buster Keaton’s inner ear. I think we have discovered why he is always falling down. He has a lovely — if…
Toulouse Le Grandfig’s Summer Vacation: Departure
December 37, 1932 My voyage begins on the Ukranian Steam Ship, the Plotnik. On the first day, I met our captain. A diminutive, if stern fellow, by the name of…
Toulouse Le Grandfig
Born in Sarlat (France) in 1895, Toulouse Le Grandfig was a minor painter and surrealist writer who’s most important contributions are the dadaist works: “Le singe de vol mange le…
Some days you’re the monkey, some days the shark
Alltop is the grungy starburst. Image via Brexians.
Other problems with the Singularity
Vastly extended human lifespans might sound like a great idea, but the death of art is only one. Alltop IS the death of art.
The Levels of Drinking Consciousness: A Unified Theory
Yesterday we looked at Larry Miller’s routine, “the five levels of drinking”, which while entertaining, does not look the levels systematically. He also really only discusses the first three levels…
Larry Miller’s Five Levels of Drinking
I love this routine by Larry Miller; it’s great storytelling, and it reminds me of my idiot friends. We went so far as to name all of these levels, including…
Waiting for the razor-blade singularity
We may need to check with Ray Kurzweil on this one, but it looks as though we might expect the technological singularity sooner than anyone expects, based on your razor.…
The Lost PowerPoint Slides (4th of July Edition)
John Hancock proposes boycott of British East India Company tea to Colonial housewives, 1769 (slide 4) I agree tea is lovely but coffee is good too Because, this will hurt…
Nude Clanking Down a Staircase
You had to hand it to Wanda the Happy Ending Pleasure Borg; sure, she was two-thirds titanium alloy with Buckyball Graphite Tetro-Carbon piping, but she had a sweet disposition, a…
Ten indisputable facts about Canada (Part Two: Culture)
To commemorate Canada Day, I decided it would be useful to clear up some common myths people have about Canada and its culture. I thought it might be especially helpful…
Ten indisputable facts about Canada (Part One: History)
To commemorate Canada Day tomorrow, I thought it might be useful to clear up some common myths people have about Canada and Canadian history. Many of the readers of The…
Tying your shoes — you’re doing it wrong
When I was a wee lad, I had trouble tying my shoes the wrong way. I had to make two big loops and overlap those. True story. (Embarrassing, but true.)…
His name was Donald Gennaro, btw
Returning to the food chain would suck. You can watch the poor man get consumed at YouTube, of course, but why would you want to watch a lawyer get humiliated…
Apocalypse Cow
Never get out of the boat. Absolutely goddamn right. Unless you were going all the way. Kurtz got off the boat. He split from the whole fuckin’ program. And me?…
When Roombas Attack: The Singularity
My next novel has a comedic take on the Technological Singularity, so I thought I’d start to do some more posts about the topic here on The Skwib. The following…
Ask General Kang: Miss Manners says it has to be 97 degrees out before I don’t have to wear nylons. What do you think?
I think you should tell me what that is in Celsius. 35? 36? Never mind, it doesn’t matter, because that Miss Manners is a complete bitch. How DARE she tell…
Baby existentialism
This explains so much. Alltop was more of a baby solipsist.