Smurf-cutters
Lesley Pratt was a freakin’ evil advertising genius. In his quest to sell soap, he’d turned the shock value of bombing smurfs into a marketer’s wet dream. He’d even coined…
Mark A. Rayner
The Marvellous Kindle Giveaway
I’m giving away one Kindle when my mailing list reaches 500! How to Enter: Just join my newsletter, The MonkeySphere, and you’ll be entered in the draw. (Click on the…
False nostalgia
Summer time is nostalgia time! Alltop is nostalgic about tomorrow!
Dobby Lives, and he’s Harry Potter’s friend!
You know, I always thought that Dobby was an annoyingly needy elf-turd, but he certainly didn’t deserve to die for it. Alltop thinks this is vaguely familiar. Originally published in…
Skin harvesting on a pretty blue planet
G’lak T’ung really thought the humans were disgusting, ever since he’d been on the expedition that surveyed the pretty blue planet they inhabited. And he certainly couldn’t imagine why so…
The Minkey that Stole the Pink Panther: Chief Inspector Dreyfus
I loved the Peter Sellers Pink Panther movies, but I always thought that Herbert Lom was on the edge of stealing these movies from their purported star — and in…
The Labour Party’s response to Margaret Thatcher
Actual footage (was used in this bit.) Alltop is all actual footage.
There’s a fly in my soup
I’m not sure if this is racist or not, but it’s certainly not PC. Go Spike! Love Spike’s commitment to the bit at the end! Alltop is also an equal-opportunity…
Weather forecast for the UK
A lot of systems moving to the south in the United Kingdom these days. Alltop enjoys moving south.
Toulouse Le Grandfig’s Summer Vacation: Voyage’s End
February 29, 1933, Capipi Bumonsis I sense the voyage is about to come to an end. The customs agents here are strange men. Their beards are not mellow, but wild…
A tribute to the late Sir Edward Elgar
I love how he has to struggle to get the premise out, because he knows is SO damn funny. Alltop is a maestro of the less-popular instrument, the garden hose…
Toulouse Le Grandfig’s Summer Vacation: Freeze the Brass…
April 12, Jungian Analysis Swollen cheeks and brass protuberances strike the crew of the Good Ship Plotkin. It is the worst outbreak of Bugler’s Mouth I’ve seen since the Great…
Click Clunk — you’ll never have a bath again
Alltop doesn’t see no need for bathing.
Toulouse Le Grandfig’s Summer Vacation: Kiss-meat
SS Plotkin, circa. 1901 I separate the mists of time like the Great Jabber Monkey’s own cosmic speculum. The Fates glare at me as I slowly walk up the gangway:…
Hitler Sings!
Fifty-one seconds of pure Spike Milligan joy! Alltop has humor too.
Toulouse Le Grandfig’s Summer Vacation: The English Disease
Brighton, circa. 2000 This young gent claims that his name is Dennis Travesty. Don at Prancing Fairy College. I call him Coclear Implant. Wonder at his hat. The shoes. And…
Slave Leia — a public service announcement by Kaley Cuoco
Thank god somebody is on top of this! Alltop doesn’t see the problem.
I hate it when I get an attack of the Arrr-Jim-Lads
Surreal enough for you? Spike Milligan was a genius. Alltop has NO idea what is going on.
Bob Newhart’s call from Walter Raleigh
This is great on a couple of levels. First of all, it makes you think about all the strange little things we take for granted around us. I’m sure a…