A middle year satori
Beauty is relative, a photo by True_Bavarian on Flickr. At a certain point in your life, you realize that you are who you are. That isn’t to say that your…
Beauty is relative, a photo by True_Bavarian on Flickr. At a certain point in your life, you realize that you are who you are. That isn’t to say that your…
I’ve always loved Weird Al, and this piece demonstrates his great sense of humor, grasp of the zeitgeist, and his songwriting chops. Stop Forwarding that Crap To Me My only…
from the 2037 Hammacher Schlemmer Glaven catalog This hat recalls the iconic headgear worn by the Cognition Brigade during the Second Robotic War. First developed for long distance thought projection,…
from the 2037 Hammacher Schlemmer Glaven catalog This is the device that instantly turns Soylent Green and other flavorings into a soft-serve treat. The unit combines frozen Soylent Green and…
(from the 2037 Hammacher Schlemmer Glaven catalog) This is a six-foot Christmas tree that pops up instantly and is pre-decorated with original artwork by renowned holiday artist Thomas Kinkaid, all…
(from the 2037 Hammacher Schlemmer Glaven catalog) This is the robotic vacuum that navigates autonomously through your home up to seven times per week, where it can either clean your…
from the 2037 Hammacher Schlemmer Glaven catalog This levitation belt earned The Best rating from the Hammacher Schlemmer Glaven Institute because it was the easiest to put on and operate…
I always wondered if the Oracle ENJOYED being an irony machine. Based on this, I’d say yes. Alltop is a funny machine.
A flash fiction for Talk Like a Pirate Day - young Jim is disappointed by his career prospects, until a pirate approaches him. The post Career Day for Jim appeared…
Nudity Probable from the irregulars on Vimeo. Alltop always walks into a room butt-first.
Dog vocalizations interpreted. Condition Tail Wag Don’t be fooled by the cuteness of this puppy — it might mean trouble. I’ll growl at it just to let it know that…
I’m torn on this idea. On one hand, I’d be really happy for my Dad to still be around for the singularity. On the other hand, I’m not happy about…
Laurence arrived a few minutes late for his regular Thursday morning session, but his therapist usually ran late, so he wasn’t worried. From behind the door of his therapist’s office,…
–Woody Allen, Annie Hall (the final voiceover) Alltop likes its scrambled.
Alltop never did anything wrong.
This is an illustration of what the future might have looked like, circa 1910: The artist has depicted a genteel scene: Claude and Sophie LaFlippé have invited a few friends…
Meeptron the Bio-Destruction Bot looked out at the wasteland that once was Peoria and thought that his work had actually made it look nicer. Of course, he was programmed that…
Hank didn’t care that act had won the Most Unconvincing Bear Award six years running. He had been practicing on his flugelhorn, and he was sure that this season would…
It seemed unlikely that Janet was an “anthrax tester” for the Department of Defense, as she claimed. It just didn’t seem possible that she could snort a gram of weaponized…
“I have London on the line, sir.” “What do they want?” “They’re asking about the penguins.” “The penguins?” “Yes, remember, penguins is the codeword . . .” “For what?!” “You…