Poor career decisions
The alien on the right is thinking: “My agent is so fired.” The one on the left? He’s just experimenting with his knobs. Alltop loves a good knob experiment!
Mark A. Rayner
Nine signs you’ve been watching too many horror movies
You freak out whenever someone plays the top notes on the piano keyboard. You refuse to say: “Wait here, I’ll be right back.” You are with an extremely hot person…
The color of indifference is desaturated
“The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.” ~Richard…
The danger of dressing animals
A monkey dressed as the Easter Bunny, dreaming of murder. Just a warning to those of you who are debating about putting that Godzilla costume on your dog. Don’t do…
Ask General Kang: How do I stop feeling so nostalgic?
Ah, nostalgia! Of course, I am a primate too, so I have suffered from this particular ailment, though I am loath to admit it. I call it an ailment, because…
Kurt Vonnegut’s one rule
Love this quote. (via MonkeyJoys) Alltop is a humor baby.
The Cannon
The marketing for “The Cannon, The Ride of a Lifetime” was a tad misleading, if accurate: Hey kids, do you want to fly? Then come down to Uncle Savage’s Funzateria…
Always remember: safety first
These baby gas masks are so easy to put on, you won’t even wake them up, when you slip your wee bundle of joy into it. Just be prepared for…
Always willing to help
Constable MacHeath was surprisingly helpful when Torag the Bounty Hunter asked him if he’d seen a couple of aliens recently. And, did he know where he could find a decent…
Buddhist protestor
Of course, the very idea of a protestor kinda violates the 8-fold path a bit. Alltop is dharma. Cartoon by the suffering SMBC.
Meanwhile, in Scotland
Agnes MacPummel made her living as a hired mourner, but her métier was punching the unsuspecting bereaved in the face, just as the casket was lowered in the ground. Alltop…
Dr. Tundra versus the flashmob zombies
Dr. Maximilian Tundra had never felt so paranoid. Earlier that day he’d lost his medical license; luckily, he also had a PhD in biochemistry, so he would still get everyone…
Ronald McStrangles
Alltop is lovin’ cardiovascular asphyxiation!
Monkey perv
I note this is a photo of a chimp wearing a silk kimono, taking a photograph of a bikini model from an angle which can only be described as avant…
Review: Salt Sugar Fat: How the Food Giants Hooked Us
How would you react if I told you it wasn’t your fault you’re fat? Not entirely, anyway. Not the way that the medical profession or society at large would have…
Know your branches of economics
This comic does in one cartoon what the first chapter of Debt, the First 5000 Years does (pretty well) in one chapter. Alltop is a macro-humor generator.
What’s all this, then?
Constable Bertie Twills had no idea how to write a citation for jaywalking aliens, so he just turned his back and pretended not to see them. His partner, Constable “Jimmy”…
Dynastic Ambitions
Reginald Tweedsmuire had invented the tongue depressor, tongue scraper and uvula tickler (better known as the Roman Weight Management Apparatus), and he was said to be in line for a…
Three kick-ass e-reader uses: a writer’s list
There’s tons of advice out for how to use your e-reader more effectively, but I thought I’d throw out this short list because these things have changed my life. They’ve…