Alltop is the lost boy of humor.
Continue readingAuthor: mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys
mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Pirate Therapy and Other Cures
My new collection is now available on Amazon and on Kindle: Ever wondered what might happen if your therapist was replaced by a pirate? Or how disquieting it would be to receive postcards from your future self? If William Shatner … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Ask General Kang: Are there pirates where you come from?
You’re lookin’ at one, matey. Ye don’t become an evil intergalactic overlord by inheritin’ the job, ye know. (Actually, Blugnarsh the Bloody did actually take over from his father, Bloodwash the Blue, but he had to fight his way back … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: March of the Angry, Fuming, Vengeful Penguins
Suzie loved penguins, ever since her first trip to the zoo. She’d tell her mother every night, “oh I wish I could see a funny, awkward, goofy penguin, again Mummy. I love them SO!” “One day we’ll go back to … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Solar storms spur huge aurora borealis
Here’s some time-lapse video taken in Norway of the auroras caused by the solar flares. Gorgeous. And here’s a pic from of the Aurora Australis … from space! Taken by Dutch astronaut Andre Kuipers on board the International Space Station … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Kurt Vonnegut on the shape of stories
The lecture goes on, but unfortunately the video doesn’t; this is too bad, because then Vonnegut describes Kafka’s The Metamorphosis: Poor old Gregor Samsa. Not only does he start really low on the GI-axis (good fortune, ill fortune), he turns … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: My two favourite David Lean edits
I know, regular readers of The Skwib will be thinking: “what hell? This no funny!” (With the proper grammar, of course.) But with this new look, I’m also branching out with the blog. I’d like it to take in things … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Ad hominem rules for writing
drooling pinheads open their stories with the weather, or a prologue fatuous knobs use the passive voice corpulent prose-pederasts use a verb other than “said” to carry dialog (and only a complete asshole would use an adverb to modify “said”) … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Opinionated inanimate objects
I love these cartoons by Marc Johns — I hope he does many more. That’s not toasting, that’s typing! Fezzes have notoriously high standards. I agree, but the Google Font Api changed all that. You can get all these as … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Vermeer’s Girl With Funky Hat About to Be Sucked Into A Naked Singularity
Few people know the Dutch painter Johannes Vermeer had an advanced understanding of modern physics, but only alluded to it in some of his works because he dare not reveal his knowledge. He lived in the mid-17th century, so if … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Shall I compare thee, in chart form, to a summer’s day
Yes, yes I shall you diminutive, lovely, and crazy person. Alltop loves a good stifle.
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: The all-gas mask revival of Hamlet
The 1937 all-gas mask revival of Hamlet at the Birmingham Repertory Theatre would have probably gone down in the annals of theatre history as the best all-gas mask production — of any play — if the director, Sir Albert Fezbinder … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Not totally worthless: why videos go viral (on YouTube)
Factoids that stuck out for me: more than 48 hours of video uploaded to YouTube every minute the speaker, Kevin Allocca, is paid to watch this crap cats watching cats watching a cartoon cat: hilarious. Via The High Definite. Alltop … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: How politicians explain the stock market
The stock market — also known as the greed-fear cycle. Alltop prefers the lust-sloth cycle.
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Problems on the home front
Everybody knew that Mission Control was a total tramp, but nobody had the heart to tell Sad Spaceman. Alltop likes directing from the ground too.
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Censorship in Canada, 2010-2011
Think censorship doesn’t happen in Canada? It does, though rarely. There are, however, many attempts at censorship, and it is something we have to be on guard for at all times. It seems that in Canada, our politeness gene runs … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Humor: an evolutionary explanation
Humans have evolved to have a sense of humor — sorry, most humans have evolved to have a sense of humor because it helps us deal with: the vast indifference of the universe the crushing knowledge of our own mortality … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: In the ancient days
The Internet didn’t help this pact much either Alltop thinks it can catch light too.
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Dreamscapes: The Stars Go Out
In the dream, we know something is wrong when I notice the constellations have all disappeared. All that remains in the night sky is the deep black of space, and a few sets of stars — in triplets and doubles, … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Online surveillance satisfaction team
The best part of good customer service is anticipating problems and solving them BEFORE they happen. Alltop likes to watch.
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