Tomorrow morning, I’ll wake up early to go see my Mom. I am at our lake house for two weeks of holiday with my husband and I feel badly leaving him here while I go see Mom. It’s going to rain tomorrow and he’ll be at the cottage with no
Continue readingAuthor: Donna Thomson
THE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM - A Blog by Donna Thomson: Who Am I?
Recently, my husband Jim and I visited an old friend – someone I hadn’t seen since 1986. Back then, we lived in Washington, DC where Jim worked at the Canadian Embassy. On weekends, we would visit the beach house of our friends Pam and Norm on the Delaware coast. Norm
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM - A Blog by Donna Thomson: Guest Post: Applying For Social Security Benefits for Your Loved One and For Yourself
If you provide ongoing care for a disabled individual, then you may need to be the one who applies for benefits on his or her behalf. There are additionally some state and local programs that provide additional benefits directly to full-time caregivers of the disabled, which means that you may
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM - A Blog by Donna Thomson: Hanging Out and Having a Laugh
Out in the Hood Photograph by David Alan Harvey The sidewalk outside a liquor store doubles as a front porch for two Harlemites. Rather than sit in stifling apartments, many residents hang out on the street, where they can catch up with friends or just take in the scene.
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM - A Blog by Donna Thomson: Caregivers Are Not (Usually) Abusers!
Caregivers of very vulnerable loved ones who have extremely high needs are at high risk to being accused of abuse. I know, because it happened to me. And there are many other loving and responsible parents of children with severe disabilities who report similar scenarios. In 2005, my son Nicholas
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM - A Blog by Donna Thomson: The Lessons I Have Learned in My Life of Caregiving
For some reason, last night our alarm clock rang at 4am. My husband quietly cursed and fumbled to turn it off. We both lay awake after that and quite soon, I could hear his deep and measured breathing. He was asleep, but I was alert in the dark. The words
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM - A Blog by Donna Thomson: Guest Post: How A Battle With Cancer Made Us Stronger
Cameron Von St. James is a husband, father and caregiver. In this guest post, Cameron shares his family story of caring for his wife Heather through her cancer diagnosis and treatment. Thank you, Cameron and here’s to all the husbands, fathers and sons giving care today. How a battle with
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM - A Blog by Donna Thomson: GUEST POST – Diagnosed With Dementia: What to Expect as a Caregiver
In an unexpected, swift life change, you’re suddenly the caregiver for your loved one who’s been diagnosed with dementia. Your life and priorities have changed forever. As your loved one begins to lose physical abilities and mental capabilities, your life will revolve around caring for them. Knowing what to expect
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM - A Blog by Donna Thomson: Weeping in Public Places
Forgive me, I have been crying. Today I wept while driving, when I saw an old couple hug on the sidewalk. I wiped my cheeks as I watched the post office clerk weigh my letter and add up the international postage for my letter of condolence to an old and
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM - A Blog by Donna Thomson: From the Moment of Diagnosis – A Book Review of "Designated Caregiver" by Cecelia Salamone
From the Moment of Diagnosis A Book Review of “Designated Caregiver: Resource Manual forthe Caregiver On Call 24/7” by Cecelia Salamone Every caregiver or special needs parent can recall in sharp detail the moment of a life-changing diagnosis in the life of their loved one. Whether it is dementia, cancer
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM - A Blog by Donna Thomson: Just Breathing vs A Good Life
Yesterday I tuned in to a podcast about a new model of care in Australia. Initially I thought I might be able to double-task by writing some easy emails while listening. But almost immediately, I abandoned that idea and grabbed paper and pen instead. I needed to remember everything about
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM - A Blog by Donna Thomson: Future Planning When Capacity is An Issue: A New Deal
In my last blog post, I wrote about the messy business of overriding bad decisions that vulnerable loved ones sometimes make. The potential for anything from hurt feelings to fisticuffs is clear and present when families disagree with a vulnerable relative on treatment plans, housing solutions, care needs or any
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM - A Blog by Donna Thomson: When Patient Choices Are Harmful
Sometimes, my son makes bad choices. So does my mother. Nicholas almost always decides what he wants (and what he doesn’t!) based on short term pleasure (and pain avoidance). This means, he will NEVER choose to have an injectable medication, an enema, or go the ER, even if his life
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM - A Blog by Donna Thomson: Meet My Mother – A Natural-Born Activist
My mother is, well, unique. When I was in kindergarten, I walked to school – alone. All the other children were dropped off by their parents, but my Mom just woke me up, left a bowl of cereal at the end of my bed (who doesn’t love breakfast in bed?)
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM - A Blog by Donna Thomson: Meet My Mother – A Natural-Born Activist
My mother is, well, unique. When I was in kindergarten, I walked to school – alone. All the other children were dropped off by their parents, but my Mom just woke me up, left a bowl of cereal at the end of my bed (who doesn’t love breakfast in bed?)
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM - A Blog by Donna Thomson: When A Family’s Love is Not Enough
There are some people who, in the prime of their lives, cannot conceive of getting old. They imagine that only other people have babies with disabling conditions. They champion independence and despise infirmity. Those people might believe that if anything catastrophic ever DID happen to them, then surely the government
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM - A Blog by Donna Thomson: Amanda Telford Is A Good Mother
Families of adult children with disabilities in Ontario, Canada, are in the news today. An Ottawa mother, Amanda Telford, ‘abandoned’ her son Phillip (aged 19) in the offices of Ontario Social Services and the lines in her tearful, exhausted face tell a story of frustration, isolation and lack of support
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM - A Blog by Donna Thomson: METTA: Loving Kindness – How to Feel It, How to Spread It
I peer at an x-ray of my spine. I’m looking at my neck bones, trying to figure out why my right arm is constantly numb or tingling… why my hand itches and sometimes I feel electric shocks in my shoulder. I know my lower back is shot. Disintegrating discs mean
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM - A Blog by Donna Thomson: I’m a Professional Caregiver and You’re Not
When I was a teenager, my Dad had a series of strokes. When Mum went into the hospital for minor surgery, a woman in a white uniform arrived in our house to take care of Dad. I couldn’t stand her and she didn’t think much of me. In those days,
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM - A Blog by Donna Thomson: Searching for Roots of Compassion in a Violent World
The world is reeling from the news of a terrible explosion at the Boston marathon. In my morning newspaper today, I read this by Craig and Marc Kielburger, brothers who founded the charity Free The Children and the Me To We Social Enterprise: “A Halifax girl is allegedly raped by
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