Pozo and Mr. Savage
They lived on the margins of society as a travelling entertainment act. A classic clown-and-baboon show, in the old Czech style. They had terrorized a generation of Eastern European children.…
Toulouse Le Grandfig
Another Day in Paradise
“Dude!” “Coko!” “Dude!” “Coko!” “Dude!” Alltop also has opposable thumbs. Photo via Twisted Vintage.
The Master
I still think back to those days in Japan, when I studied zazen under the guidance of Rōshi Miaki. I had been looking for something in my life, and when…
The Best Part of Waking Up Is … VOLTREX HAS YOUR TOAST
All the cybernetic units in the Voltrag Collective understood that breakfast was the most important meal of the day for humans, especially for their developing offspring. Without breakfast, human spawn…
Performance art gone horribly right
All of the critics agreed. Hans Feckenbruke’s performance piece, “Transcending Irony: post-post-modern capitalism in the Western World, from the top of the Chrysler Building, as seen from the perspective of…
The loneliness of the long distance rabbit
The stats were daunting. The average breeding season for rabbits is 9 months (10 in Newfoundland). Gestation time is 30 days. Each litter produces somewhere between 4 to 12 kits…
Appropriate Dress Required
Sometimes you feel like putting on a pretty little sundress, and prancing around in a meadow with the butterflies. Other days, you wake up and think: rubber dress … fishnet…
Bingo and Floggie
Of all the singing clown acts to grace the stages of Europe and Asia in the first half of the 20th century, none have had the impact that Bingo and…
It’s Cyborg Morning in the Singularity
Bob was not a happy cyborg. He’d had to skip his plasma bath and neural detox that morning because his dick of a boss, a narcissistic self-sustaining photosynthetic artificial intelligence…
Joel and the Corporate Ziggurat
Joel LeFrappe was an up-and-coming executive in the Massive and Deranged Cricket and Palmistry (MaDCaP) Continuum, homeworld of ToryWorks 4000, a rival firm of NaziWorks 3000 (The Caring Company). While…
A Portrait of Chauncey Migswith-Piggerton
Occupation: Professor, Arse-Elbow Differentiation, UBS Marital Status: Married to the unfortunate Alison Migswith-Piggerton. Offspring: Daughter, Jenny, 24. And the loathsome Peter, son, 27. Hobbies: Angling, rat keeping, and touching “things.”…
When in Rome
You know what Harvey hated? He really hated it when people misquoted things or used sayings the wrong way. For example: the proof is in the pudding. “No fucker.” Harvey…
Furnished room for let
The Kelly Gang was notorious, not only for their 1905 pancake rampage through East Ham, but for their queer genetic makeup. In the back row, you can make out the…
How it all began, I mean, AFTER the nuclear explosion
Sumiko: Soto Noodle — you will want to suck them fast! Godzilla: So you serve noodles? Sumiko: Yes sir, we are noodle shop. Godzilla: Excellent, I’d like an order of…
Solutions for an empty galaxy
Long before Enrico Fermix had questioned why there was no sign of advanced species visiting Earth, despite the vastness of the universe and the likelihood of intelligent star-faring species evolving…
A moment of gritty reflection
Delores always liked to take a few moments between shows and get a little alone time. Of late the circus had been touring in the Southwest and they’d seen lots…
Brittany
In her high school class yearbook, Brittany had been deemed “the most likely to be found dead in a dumpster”, but she had confounded her critics. First she had joined…
Dominus Vobiscum
After the disastrous Papacy of Benedict XVI, all the secret societies decided to go a different way with the new pontiff. The Freemasons were keen to start putting their new…
Video dating
“So is it on?” Voice from off-camera: “Let me check.” “Yep, you’re good.” “Okay, so you might not guess this from looking at me, but I’m actually a real sensitive…
The book of transformation
He had no idea how long he’d been there. It seemed like an age. All around him was the sound of the other body parts. Two pages over the heart…