How I Spent the Ice Age
The new arms weren’t as much fun as I hoped they’d be, but they were sure useful during the crisis. As you know I’m not really into the bodmod community,…
Skwibby fiction
Give a Little Monkeyjoy this holiday
If you’re still looking for gifts, both of my novels are available on Kindle for 99-cents — until the end of the year! And yes, you can give a Kindle…
Betsy of Narnia Reveals the Ugly Truth
‘Allo, dearie, I suppose you’d like to hear all about your hero Aslan and those Pevensie folk, but you don’t want to hear it from the likes of me. You…
Clown Apocalypse: The Day the Laughter Died
It was as though everyone who was infected by the Bozo Virus (BV) had received an extensive education at the Barnum and Bailey Clown College. In fact, one of the…
The Saturnalia Feast
It was Saturnalia, so Dr. Maximilian Tundra was heading home again for the holidays, dread clutching his heart like an iron fist. He’d managed to… The post The Saturnalia Feast…
Tundra Reports: Tim Horton’s Honeys
By Dr. Maximilian Tundra Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing to be addressed as “dear”, “hon,” or “darling” by someone who is at least 10 years younger than you?…
Remember, Remember the Fifth of November
Thomas Cadwell watched as the children danced around the bonfire, singing: A penny loaf to feed the Pope. A farthing o’ cheese to choke him. A pint of beer to…
Star-crossed lovers
1960 … formerly unknown Mexican sci-fi!, a photo by x-ray delta one on Flickr. The being had crossed all of known space to find her, Lola LaBozla, the smartest woman…
Too damn hot!
Unknown Photographer, 1940s, a photo by kraftgenie on Flickr. AFter their shift cleaning out the blast furnaces, Edna and Eustace would head down to the the Pantages Theatre, still wearing…
A writer writes
april 26 grading blues, a photo by dewberry1964 on Flickr. Ignatius was working. That was the first rule for writers. It wasn’t about the tools, his teachers had said, way…
The wonderful thing about tautologies
damned freaks in the alley…, a photo by IntangibleArts on Flickr. tautologies After a certain point, the previous night was all a blur. He’d started the usual way: he burst…
Pirate Therapy
Laurence arrived a few minutes late for his regular Thursday morning session, but his therapist usually ran late, so he wasn’t worried. From behind the door of his therapist’s office,…
A Robot Regrets
Meeptron the Bio-Destruction Bot looked out at the wasteland that once was Peoria and thought that his work had actually made it look nicer. Of course, he was programmed that…
Everyone’s a critic
Hank didn’t care that act had won the Most Unconvincing Bear Award six years running. He had been practicing on his flugelhorn, and he was sure that this season would…
Belgium, circa 1906
Doctor Hans Christian “Liver-and-Favva-Beans” Malifico standing next to the prototype of his first business mechanical, the famous Red Juggernaut, Mark I (with claw and hook attachment). Though it would be…
The Evils of Commerce
In Sohunglo, Chugoku Prefecture, (just down the road from Hiroshima) the geisha house of Okiya Yumyum made the best of a bad situation by introducing the art of contortion to…
The Chair That Sat Back
Mephistopheles relaxed after a good (evil) day’s work. He’d chalked up three witches, a magus, a handful of brick-makers who’d had too much to drink, and Michael Bay. (Boob, explosions…
The five second rule
It was the best game of zenball ever, and the crowd was wild with excitement: the whisper of butterfly wings was deafening. The Rotrovra Koan Kangaroos had just scored their…
Smurf-cutters
Lesley Pratt was a freakin’ evil advertising genius. In his quest to sell soap, he’d turned the shock value of bombing smurfs into a marketer’s wet dream. He’d even coined…
The Marvellous Kindle Giveaway
I’m giving away one Kindle when my mailing list reaches 500! How to Enter: Just join my newsletter, The MonkeySphere, and you’ll be entered in the draw. (Click on the…