Henry’s long ride with death
Henry rode with Death his entire life, but it never really cramped his style. For the most part, other people couldn’t see Death, hanging on his coat-tails wherever he went,…
Skwibby fiction
Protected: A Reluctant Emcee
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
The loneliness of the long distance rabbit
The stats were daunting. The average breeding season for rabbits is 9 months (10 in Newfoundland). Gestation time is 30 days. Each litter produces somewhere between 4 to 12 kits…
Ancient Egyptian Pepperpot Ladies
Mrs. Knouphis: “‘Allo Mrs. Beset.” Mrs. Beset: “‘Allo Mrs. Knouphis.” K: “‘Av you ‘eard about that Mrs. … Continue reading →
Short Fiction: Jesussic Park
Jesus was visiting a lost valley that was reputed to hold a few holy men who separated themselves from the rest of the world so they could better understand the…
The Sarcastic Cyborg Debriefs
Is this thing on? Seriously. Is it on? I’m not getting any neural feedback. You humans are so odd. You are human aren’t you? Why don’t you just implant a…
La dolce vita
It wasn’t always so easy. There used to be an anger in him. An emptiness that nothing could fill … nothing material anyway. He fell through time and space, and…
It’s Cyborg Morning in the Singularity
Bob was not a happy cyborg. He’d had to skip his plasma bath and neural detox that morning because his dick of a boss, a narcissistic self-sustaining photosynthetic artificial intelligence…
Piracy 101
A tall, strong and heavily muscled man enters the lecture hall; his nut-brown face is marred by a saber cut across one cheek. It has left a dirty, livid white…
Going cold turkey in The Fridgularity
For some characters the sudden disappearance of the Internet in The Fridgularity frees them from their addiction. (For others, it’s a challenge recovering from their habits.) This is a scene…
Clown Apocalypse: The Clownsickle
One of the worst things about the clown apocalypse was just sorting out the sick from the opportunistic psycho-killers, who used the disaster to cover their own heinous activities. Many…
Truculent Guitar Blastocyte
Sister Mary Xtron the Destroyer and her accompanist, Sister Mary Catherine Crudlik-Pamby (of the Space Ship BingePowder) will be in the Trans-Vatican this week for a limited engagement, entertaining His…
Cheese Pyrates! Revenge of the Crimson Parrots
It were 2011, and a year had passed since the Le Fromage de Satan had sunk our frigate with an exploding cheese, killing all hands except for meself, Jim Quinn,…
Cheese Pyrates!
The year were 2011 and I joined the Navy for one reason alone — to get me vengeance on Le Fromage de Satan, and her scurvy master, Captain Jacques LaBung.…
Municipal Investment Strategies for the Technological Singularity
An Open Letter to Town Council Dear Councilors: Your town may have an emergency plan, a development plan, a health plan — it may even have a plan for how…
An Open Letter to John Hodgman, Minor Celebrity
Dear Judge John Hodgman, I would normally never bother a minor celebrity, but I have a warning to pass along. It may save your life. Last night I had a…
Clown Apocalypse: Buffoonibilism
This isn’t terrifying is it? He looks kinda fun, right? Sure, up until the point he starts to eat your face. One of the mutations of the Bozo Virus that…
Clown Apocalypse: The Sexy Cataclysm
The Clown Apocalypse was not universally grim, unless you were coulrophobe with a debilitating fear of clowns. Apart from the moments of hilarity you’d sometimes get when you saw someone…