Henry’s long ride with death
Henry rode with Death his entire life, but it never really cramped his style. For the most part, other people couldn’t see Death, hanging on his coat-tails wherever he went,…
Henry rode with Death his entire life, but it never really cramped his style. For the most part, other people couldn’t see Death, hanging on his coat-tails wherever he went,…
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The stats were daunting. The average breeding season for rabbits is 9 months (10 in Newfoundland). Gestation time is 30 days. Each litter produces somewhere between 4 to 12 kits…
Mrs. Knouphis: “‘Allo Mrs. Beset.” Mrs. Beset: “‘Allo Mrs. Knouphis.” K: “‘Av you ‘eard about that Mrs. … Continue reading →
Jesus was visiting a lost valley that was reputed to hold a few holy men who separated themselves from the rest of the world so they could better understand the…
Is this thing on? Seriously. Is it on? I’m not getting any neural feedback. You humans are so odd. You are human aren’t you? Why don’t you just implant a…
It wasn’t always so easy. There used to be an anger in him. An emptiness that nothing could fill … nothing material anyway. He fell through time and space, and…
Bob was not a happy cyborg. He’d had to skip his plasma bath and neural detox that morning because his dick of a boss, a narcissistic self-sustaining photosynthetic artificial intelligence…
A tall, strong and heavily muscled man enters the lecture hall; his nut-brown face is marred by a saber cut across one cheek. It has left a dirty, livid white…
For some characters the sudden disappearance of the Internet in The Fridgularity frees them from their addiction. (For others, it’s a challenge recovering from their habits.) This is a scene…
The account rep jumped right into it: “we’re thrilled to have your account, but I’m afraid your numbers are down since our initial chat.” “You’re kiddin’ me.” “I’m afraid not,…
One of the worst things about the clown apocalypse was just sorting out the sick from the opportunistic psycho-killers, who used the disaster to cover their own heinous activities. Many…
Sister Mary Xtron the Destroyer and her accompanist, Sister Mary Catherine Crudlik-Pamby (of the Space Ship BingePowder) will be in the Trans-Vatican this week for a limited engagement, entertaining His…
It were 2011, and a year had passed since the Le Fromage de Satan had sunk our frigate with an exploding cheese, killing all hands except for meself, Jim Quinn,…
The year were 2011 and I joined the Navy for one reason alone — to get me vengeance on Le Fromage de Satan, and her scurvy master, Captain Jacques LaBung.…
An Open Letter to Town Council Dear Councilors: Your town may have an emergency plan, a development plan, a health plan — it may even have a plan for how…
Dear Judge John Hodgman, I would normally never bother a minor celebrity, but I have a warning to pass along. It may save your life. Last night I had a…
This isn’t terrifying is it? He looks kinda fun, right? Sure, up until the point he starts to eat your face. One of the mutations of the Bozo Virus that…
The Clown Apocalypse was not universally grim, unless you were coulrophobe with a debilitating fear of clowns. Apart from the moments of hilarity you’d sometimes get when you saw someone…