On minimal solutions
Shorter Corporatists to Fleece the Irrelevant Beggars trying to avoid a living wage for Alberta: Has anybody pointed out that if we ensure that the hungry have food, some of…
shorter
The mystery advantage
Shorter Brad Wall:
The oppressive market
Shorter Cons: Talking about not buying goods is officially a punishable offence.
On relative popularity
Jim Prentice is warning Albertans that they should vote for him lest they be governed by somebody like Tom Mulcair. Jim Prentice’s approval rating in Alberta is 22%. Tom Mulcair’s…
On guesswork
Shorter Bob Rae: Some people actually believe voters deserve a meaningful idea what political parties plan to do before choosing between them? That’s crazy talk.
The petulant son
Shorter Justin Trudeau: When I say I plan to do politics differently, what I mean is that I’m willing to leave Stephen Harper in power based on the most petty…
On projection
Shorter Leona Aglukkaq to Canada’s provinces: I’m very disappointed in all of you for my government’s longstanding failings, and demand that you take responsibility immediately.
On foundational assumptions
Shorter John Geddes: Conservatism cannot fail, it can only be failed. And so the miserable results of Stephen Harper’s consistent privatization, free trade obsession and corporate tax slashing don’t count…
On exclusivity
Shorter Harper Cons: We’ll consider allowing democratic oversight of CSIS just as soon as that know-nothing public stops electing MPs who aren’t us.
On clear oversight
Shorter Chuck Strahl: I can’t see why a secret police service should be overseen by anybody other than the MPs who are willing to break their own rules to inflict…
On unclear motivations
Shorter Peter MacKay: We should tremble in our boots at the possibility that the people plotting a mass shooting in Halifax might have been susceptible to motivation by religious fervour.…
On needless concessions
Shorter Dougald Lamont: The only way to win against Stephen Harper’s Conservatives is to let the Conservatives define both the significance of Stephen Harper, and what it means to “win”.
On misappropriation
Shorter Don McMorris: You might think that a publicly administered and funded consultation process would be intended to inform provincial public policy decisions, and that partisan platform development should be…
On destructive preconditions
Shorter Elizabeth Nickson: I’ll consider accepting the need for policies to preserve the environment just as soon as we’ve seen exactly how much gets destroyed in their absence. (h/t to…
On blissful ignorance
Shorter Lawrence Herman: Just because Newfoundland and Labrador learned the hard way that Stephen Harper can’t be trusted doesn’t mean it has any right to warn anybody else that Stephen…
On managerial lapses
Shorter Tony Clement: I believe there’s an art to managing public money. And that’s why I see no problem whatsoever with budgets which are works of fiction.
On unjust cause
Shorter Peter Kent, Stephen Harper Talking Point Dispenser Level Infinity: The Dear Leader fired me for making some effort to do a job with the work “environment” in the title,…
Excuses, excuses
Shorter Leona Aglukkaq: It’s absolutely essential that we align our greenhouse gas emissions policies with the U.S. if that means delaying regulations which could limit pollution from the tar sands.…
On inconsistent statements
Shorter Leona Aglukkaq: It’s libellous to suggest that I privately demanded that Sam Tutanuak apologize for exposing the fact that my constituents are going hungry. But while I have your…
On targets
Shorter Chantal Hebert: And just think how much more successful Jack Layton could have been as the NDP’s leader if only the Cons had spent years attacking him rather than…