Mozart’s birthday today
To celebrate, let’s play his famous requiem: And then go check out The Amadeus Net, a novel in which I posit that: the big guy never died he toys with…
but is it art?
When robotic urinals attack
Last weekend Dr. Maximillian Tundra was lucky enough to go away for the weekend on a roadtrip with his buddies. It was nearly the last thing he ever did. After…
It all boils down to your programming
The artificial intelligence(s) in The Fridgularity emphatically do not fall in love. Sex, sure, but love? Alltop is in lust with humor.
Piracy 101
A tall, strong and heavily muscled man enters the lecture hall; his nut-brown face is marred by a saber cut across one cheek. It has left a dirty, livid white…
Help with your New Year’s Resolutions
A bit of advice from Bob Newhart: But you shouldn’t stop going to Alltop.
You know, it’s really important to tell the truth
Maybe this is why Billy Joel thinks honesty is such a lonely word… Alltop sits on a throne of lies. And jokes.
Teaser from The Fridgularity: How the Grinch Stole Christmas
The Fridgularity is a satire of Internet culture, so that means it’s rife with pop-culture references, and How the Grinch Stole Christmas is one of them. I can’t tell you…
Sadisucation
You sometimes think that certain teachers experience a certain glee because of the essential irrationality of English. Alltop write good. And funny.
Sad about the singularity?
Is this robot really sad? Or is it just celebrating the technological singularity it its own quiet way? I don’t want to project onto this robot. Maybe he’s programmed to…
Everyman Ozymandias
Ozymandias I met a traveller from an antique land Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone Stand in the desart. Near them, on the sand, Half sunk, a…
Ask General Kang: How do I keep my two-year-old son from killing his mother (my wife)?
First off, you probably need to untie her and let her run away from the frisky little tyke. Oh and stop giving him knives to play with. By the way,…
The book of transformation
He had no idea how long he’d been there. It seemed like an age. All around him was the sound of the other body parts. Two pages over the heart…
Take me to your breeder
Klaktron XII was the Hyper-Commander of the United Federation of Incredibly Regular Planets Space Vessel, Cheeznip. His was a storied career. He’d eaten ultrasonic oysters in the Seafood Nebula, and…
Cheese Pyrates! Revenge of the Crimson Parrots
It were 2011, and a year had passed since the Le Fromage de Satan had sunk our frigate with an exploding cheese, killing all hands except for meself, Jim Quinn,…
Cheese Pyrates!
The year were 2011 and I joined the Navy for one reason alone — to get me vengeance on Le Fromage de Satan, and her scurvy master, Captain Jacques LaBung.…
Fitted Sheets — Perfectly Cromulent Folding Instructions
Perfectly crumulent indeed. Alltop has trouble with t-shirts too.
Aging Nostalgia
This chart imparts two important points to me: I am older than the average American I had no idea the movie Forrest Gump was so important. The list is marginally…
Clown Apocalypse: Buffoonibilism
This isn’t terrifying is it? He looks kinda fun, right? Sure, up until the point he starts to eat your face. One of the mutations of the Bozo Virus that…