Dog Threat Level Meter
Dog vocalizations interpreted. Condition Tail Wag Don’t be fooled by the cuteness of this puppy — it might mean trouble. I’ll growl at it just to let it know that…
but is it art?
It’s about the eggs
–Woody Allen, Annie Hall (the final voiceover) Alltop likes its scrambled.
Damn you brain!
Alltop never did anything wrong.
Gather round the radium fire
This is an illustration of what the future might have looked like, circa 1910: The artist has depicted a genteel scene: Claude and Sophie LaFlippé have invited a few friends…
The Tradition Continues
Karl Wangsness had decided to honor his Norwegian heritage by having his own version of a Viking Funeral. The car was an admirable substitution for a longship, and he was…
The love that dare not speak its name
“Oh Sergei, do you think we’ll ever escape this festering plain, this landscape of ennui and emptiness, so that we can share our love as it was meant to be…
Toulouse Le Grandfig: Catholic school
Jeremy went to a Catholic school, where Sister Mary Trenchbroom taught Civics and Personal Hygiene. It’s fair to say it scarred him for life. Alltop has also destroyed many lives.…
René Magritte: Merchant Banker Masters His Mental Powers at Walton-on-the-Naze
While an art historian will tell you this 1964 painting is called “The Son of Man”, and is meant to be a meditation on what is hidden in the visible…
False nostalgia
Summer time is nostalgia time! Alltop is nostalgic about tomorrow!
Dobby Lives, and he’s Harry Potter’s friend!
You know, I always thought that Dobby was an annoyingly needy elf-turd, but he certainly didn’t deserve to die for it. Alltop thinks this is vaguely familiar. Originally published in…
Glory vs. Effort
Hmm . . . this seems depressingly accurate. Alltop is all glory, man. You could even say it’s a hole full of it! a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/lunchbreath/5956858216/”>glory v. effort, a photo by…
The Labour Party’s response to Margaret Thatcher
Actual footage (was used in this bit.) Alltop is all actual footage.
There’s a fly in my soup
I’m not sure if this is racist or not, but it’s certainly not PC. Go Spike! Love Spike’s commitment to the bit at the end! Alltop is also an equal-opportunity…
Weather forecast for the UK
A lot of systems moving to the south in the United Kingdom these days. Alltop enjoys moving south.
Toulouse Le Grandfig’s Summer Vacation: Voyage’s End
February 29, 1933, Capipi Bumonsis I sense the voyage is about to come to an end. The customs agents here are strange men. Their beards are not mellow, but wild…
Toulouse Le Grandfig’s Summer Vacation: Freeze the Brass…
April 12, Jungian Analysis Swollen cheeks and brass protuberances strike the crew of the Good Ship Plotkin. It is the worst outbreak of Bugler’s Mouth I’ve seen since the Great…
Click Clunk — you’ll never have a bath again
Alltop doesn’t see no need for bathing.
Toulouse Le Grandfig’s Summer Vacation: Kiss-meat
SS Plotkin, circa. 1901 I separate the mists of time like the Great Jabber Monkey’s own cosmic speculum. The Fates glare at me as I slowly walk up the gangway:…
Hitler Sings!
Fifty-one seconds of pure Spike Milligan joy! Alltop has humor too.
Toulouse Le Grandfig’s Summer Vacation: The English Disease
Brighton, circa. 2000 This young gent claims that his name is Dennis Travesty. Don at Prancing Fairy College. I call him Coclear Implant. Wonder at his hat. The shoes. And…