How Queen Elizabeth saved the monarchy
First things first, let me be perfectly clear: I am a devout anti-monarchist. Everything about it is impossibly stupid, and diametrically opposite of everything democracy is supposed to be. Even…
Maurice Tougas
Dear U.S.A. Can we talk about guns? Nicely?
Dear America: Hello, neighbour. Canada here. You can tell it’s us by the fact that I added that superfluous ‘u’ in neighbour. Sorry for the levity. But in such grim…
Time to get rid of Victoria Day (the name, not the holiday)
Happy Victoria Day weekend, dear readers. In honour of this great public holiday, I propose that we make it the last Victoria Day ever. Now, don’t panic. I am not…
Hey, photogs. Pick your best pix and print them, pronto
Before the advent of cellphones and their cameras, taking pictures was an entirely different experience. Today, everyone over the age of eight has a professional quality camera (disguised as a…
Read ‘Ten Lost Years’ (if you can find it) and stop your belly-aching
It’s safe to say that these are not the best of times. For two years, we have been stalked by an invisible, shape-shifting enemy who has sickened and killed millions,…
Wanna bet? It’s gone from underground to mainstream
When I was just a wee lad, I remember my dad occasionally buying a ticket for something called the Irish Sweepstakes. The ‘Sweeps’, as it was popularly called, was a…
How many shirts do you really need?
While leafing through a Costco flyer recently, I spotted a great deal on t-shirts: four Bench men’s v-necks for $15.99. Such a deal! Can’t have too many shirts, right? Not…
Maybe Kenney should let the lunatics take over the asylum
If I may borrow from an oft-repeated phrase from TV news, I’m going to begin this column with this: WARNING: some content may be disturbing. OK, here goes … I’m…
The Slap II: Attack of the Opinions
So, did you hear about the Oscars this year? Yep, absolutely unbelievable … Mac Ruth won the Oscar for best sound! About time, right? But Mac Ruth’s golden moment has…
And the winners won’t be … the audience
Not too many years ago, a great swath of North America would have been tuned in to the Academy Awards. But not last year. And certainly not this year. The…
Lessons from two years of COVID-19
We – and by we, I mean the entire world – have just marked two full years since COVID-19 was declared a pandemic. Time flies when you’re living in fear…
Why are the oil companies raising the price of gas? Because. They. Can.
Despite many half-hearted attempts to diversify the economy, we in Alberta just keep falling back into the brawny, oily arms of Big Oil. We owe much of our wealth to…
Can some good come from a very bad situation? Let’s hope so.
The world’s most popular flag So, all you Freedom Convoy supporters, how do you feel now? Seeing an independent, democratic country under savage attack by a monstrous enemy intent on…
If you remember milkmen and TV Guide, you just might be old
I was idly watching a movie the other day, trying to take my mind off the Canarchy (that’s Canadian anarchy) on the streets. The film was from 1974, which I…
Woe Canada.
Canada has always survived in the shadow of the Formerly-United States of America. When I was younger, we tried in any way possible to distinguish ourselves from Americans. But it…
Nothing scares me more than dementia. Here’s why.
Everybody is afraid of cancer. I am, too. It’s not called ‘the emperor of all maladies’ for nothing. But there is a worse malady that terrifies me. It’s incurable, utterly…
If France could survive Nazis, we can survive Covid
As we continue to fight this invisible enemy in Year 2 of World War C, perhaps we should take inspiration from France. No, not France of 2022. France of 1940.…
Do not put your trust in Rotten Tomatoes
So here we are in the deepest, darkest pit of winter. It’s the time of year when we ask ourselves the existential question – why in God’s name do I…
My 14 favorite books of 2021. Satisfaction guaranteed.
The year 2021 is one most of us would just as soon forget. That benighted year couldn’t even let Betty White celebrate her 100th. That was cruel. Personally, I found…
Almost every famous and infamous person who died in 2021
Did you hear who died today? How many times have you heard someone say that? The death of a famous (or infamous) person is the kind of somewhat morbid news…