Absolutely! Just because you’re tired of people lecturing you, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t continue to subject yourself to it for another three or four years. Some of your Earth “experts”…
My little contribution to the meme-o-sphere. Original photo here via Flickr. Know your meme entry on Yes, this is dog here. On the Internet, people can still kind of tell…
So how is your’s going? I hope it hasn’t gotten much worse than “bulk cereal.” Slainté! Alltop is the bulk cereal of Internet humor aggregators. Genius “infotoon” by Lunchbreath.
I believe that tasers are a barbaric technology. Not only are tasers an excruciating way to kill people, it seems to me that you should be using some kind of…
The O’Reilly Boys finally caught up with Old Judge Turgid at the Annual Pecos River Ride and Chili Jamboree. Salathial had hung their older brother Seamus “The Tinkle” O’Reilly just…
Surveillance cameras are a must for any would-be intergalactic overlord, which I assume is your ultimate goal. (Just as an aside, mayor is not the best platform to launch such…
It began simply. He was out on his morning rampage when he crashed through the front gates of SeaWorld. She was doing the 10 am show, trying to keep her…
You humans still have primitive brains, so I will try to be understanding about this need of yours to panic. One of your wisest humans wrote a book, upon the…
Besides, killing Hitler is such a 1st year in the time-travel academy thing to do. Alltop is a great way to kill time.
Long before Giuseppe Del Balso invented cross-dimensional rift surfing, full-frontal time travel, or the pleasures of Zoot, he had many adventures, riding through the Italian countryside on his iron Dobbin.…
Muffy and Cuddles were pretty sure they had the math right, but they had a lingering worry that the explosion might ignite the Earth’s atmosphere. On the other hand, the…
Research scientists from GruntWerx 3000 (The Caring Company) were thrilled to finally track down the source of the mysterious transmissions the Corporate Imperium has been receiving for centuries, proving once…
Work has kept me away from my latest long fiction project for a while, and this quote keeps floating around my head. (That, and some kind of growling sound…) Alltop…
Alltop has been ordered to destroy all humor aggregators.
Generally speaking, there is an eyebrow shape that works with every type of face. If you are an über-chimp with a large cranial ridge, for example, then a properly shaped…
This helps me to understand why my character in Skyrim keeps picking up crap to sell, even though he has more money than he’ll ever be able to spend. Also,…
With technology and fear. On Prolonga XII (the homeworld of the Aphrodisiac Ascendancy before I invaded with my RoboChimp Legion) I had some trouble getting the native hominids there to…
I mean, come on, Illuminati — some veggies and hummus or even those lousy cookies you get at Western University functions — something! Alltop doesn’t believe that cookies exist. Exquisite…
Naked Fire Luge Though not as dangerous as skurlington, naked fire luge, is, in many ways, a much more exciting sport for the viewer. The luge run is ringed by…
In keeping with The Skwib Olympic motto: citius, altius, sanguius (faster, higher, bloodier) we would next like to suggest that the Winter Olympic committee combine Curling and Skeleton — the…
