The Simianularity
“I swear to God, I never thought the cyborg-monkeys would betray us.” Alltop wouldn’t survive even the robo-bees stage.
Mark A. Rayner
The void loves you
The caption is perfect if you imagine it being narrated by Werner Herzog. Herzog continues to read: “The orange sky, like the creeping shadows that threaten to engulf our fictional…
What Groundhog Day Means on Alternative Earths
Our Universe: groundhog sees its shadow = 6 more weeks of winter. Foofy Bum Universe: annual celebration of Lord Fuzzy’s victory over the Lizard Horde. Zentropia Universe: day of the…
New Fiction: Wormageddon
My latest short story just appeared in The Saturday Evening Post: Less schmaltz-y, WAY more worm-y. You can find Wormageddon here.
Excruciating Album Cover Art — Mr. Bat Sings
“Can’t sleep, clown will eat me.” –Bart Simpson I always used to think one of the silliest phobias was coulrophobia — the fear of clowns — until I saw this…
The 2nd Monday of October
Meanwhile in Canada … Every year on the second Monday of October, Canadians celebrate the end of the Moose Ascendancy. During this dark period of… The post The 2nd Monday…
New fiction: The Real Primo
Corvus Review just published a new short story that I’ve been noodling with for some time: The Real Primo. (pp. 59-67) If you’ve ever watched (and enjoyed) Groundhog Day, or…
Alexandra Leaving – a short history
This song is based on a poem by the Greek poet, Constantine P. Cavafy. His source material was a story from Plutarch about Mark Anthony, as he watched his allies…
Crazy like a fox
Reagan did a lot of this during the Reykjavík Summit with Gorbachev, but it was part of his strategy. He was TRYING to make Gorby and the Russians think he…
The side benefits of coulrophobia
Alltop is afraid of skin tanner. Chart by Indexed.
Furious George
Angry monkey with a chaingun. I’ve been there. Alltop would never give a weapon to a lower primate. From Otipess.
The 14 people you need to help you decide if you should publish or not
There are three things that I love about this: they are tremendous and witty words of wisdom from Mark Twain. it is narrated by John Lithgow, who’s voice alone makes…
The Procedure
Grounding the team had been difficult, but not impossible. Dr. Hansrik assured them there would be no danger, once the patient was unconscious. Prior to sedation, the patient was capable…
New Fiction: Empty Space Times Two
This piece is probably the most straight-up sentimental thing I’ve ever written, but I’m quite chuffed to join the ranks of the writers who have been published by The Saturday…
Forty-seven Signs of the Apocalypse (#28)
From the Book of Unpardonable Footwear: And so it was that Amos, the Most Holy Prophet of in the Reign of Uzziah, said unto the Chosen: “A time comes when…
Twitterpocalypse
Writer’s note: Most of the Twitter handles are invented. And if the reverse chronology is a problem, you may prefer to start this short story at the beginning, but I…
Congo: a chimp, an artist, a cautionary tale
Congo began his artistic career when he worked with Desmond Morris, anthropologist, TV presenter and writer of such books as The Human Animal, The Naked Ape, and Chimps-r-Us. Initially, Morris…
He’s My Man: Leonard Cohen
I’m sure most people are still trying to understand Trump’s win, but seriously, they’re missing the meaning of Cohen’s loss. He made the personal epic, but in the right way.…