Hello, My Name Is Indigo Montoya
Billy was up to three packs a day, but it was okay; he was in training for the All-Tar Olympics. His coach said he was a natural, and he had…
Mark A. Rayner
Ask General Kang: How do you stay warm in the winter?
You must be writing from Canada, right? Surely you know more about dealing with cold temperatures than I do. I’m the wrong interstellar overlord to ask, because generally speaking, I…
Level Two: The Monkey
From The Levels of Drinking Consciousness: A Unified Theory: The Hammer leads, inevitably, to “The Inebriation,” leading you to the next layer down, the monkey layer. Now, this part of…
The Lost Power Point Slides (Yanksgiving History Edition)
Chief Massasoit presents items NOT supplied for the first Thanksgiving, circa 1621 (only slide) deep-fried turkey cranberry sauce potatoes, white or sweet pie of any kind (there were pumpkins, though).…
Protected: Why’s Wally?
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Boba Fett writes in his journal
“Last night I had that terrible dream where I got slowly digested over a 1000 years again. I wonder what it means? But in real world — totally looking forward…
Writers’ stimulants
I still think most of these would be whiskey, not coffee. (h/t to Mark Victor Young.) Alltop is a stiff drink of humor.
KFC still addictive, study finds
NEW YORK (The Skwib) — Despite moves to eliminate the use of trans-fats from its fare, Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) is still addictive. “Yes, there is still a problem with…
Ask General Kang: I’d like to protect my kids, so is there some kind of hermetically sealed biosphere that you could recommend?
Definitely. I’d go with a product invented on my native planet, Neecknaw, during the Cranial Trauma Scare at the turn of the last century. It’s called Dr. Ooo-ook’s Multi-Phasic Baby-to-Big…
Hirsute nostalgia
I’m not sure who this is, Chilliwack, maybe? Or, Jefferson Starship? Anyway, they were a band from the 70s. I encourage you to check out some of my hairy fiction.…
A brush with disaster
Every time Trooper Jinglo thought about the Death Star, and how he was supposed to be on duty that day, he just needed to cuddle with his dog, Mr. Snuggums.…
Cindy and The Ravens
When the talking ravens had appeared, introducing themselves as Hugin and Munin, naturally everyone had been astonished. They could speak English, several Scandinavian languages, and a tongue not heard in…
Ask General Kang: If I say I’m going to be there, but then I don’t show up, does that make me a ‘douche-bag’?
Yes. Yes, it does. If you say you are going to be there, but then never turn up, then you are a wanker, pure and simple. Unless you have a…
My conversation with Robert Chazz Chute
I’d encourage you all to check out the Cool People Podcast this week, in which the host (and fellow London, ON author) Robert Chazz Chute, and I discuss the singularity,…
Blogger ponders on things instead of musing about them
LONDON, Ontario (The Skwib) — The web is still reeling from the revelation that a blogger has been pondering things instead of musing about them. “Yeah, I’ve spent a lot…
You’re invited to Indie Author Night
I’d like to invite anyone who is the region of London, Ontario (or all you readers with some cash or frequent flyer points to burn), to come to a reading…
An accurate representation
This photo is missing the beer slider and the porn/video game toggle for men, but otherwise seems accurate. Alltop has an entire board filled with humor sliders.
Alert to possibilities
Friendship can come in the most unexpected ways. (So do snacks.) Alltop is one big snack of humor!
Writing is fun!
Stabbing them in the neck with a fountain pen works too … Alltop is writing up the funny!