New constellation discovered!
Finally, someone came out and said it! Alltop likes to gaze at the Tits of Andromeda.
mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys
Sad Spaceman reads too much Camus
Alltop enjoys a good void.
Why Dr. McCoy was not a whiny bitch
McCoy, Kirk and Spock are all about to die as their bodies are de-atomized over a period of several agonizing seconds. Everyone in the original Star Trek was quite condescending…
It’s a snap!
I’m not sure how the makers of this little bit of genius got permission to do it, but this is a real ad. (I’m still a little suspicious because I…
Torpor, Ennui, the End of the Universe
That kid just bummed me out. Alltop would love a new bike.
Ask General Kang: Is our universe somebody’s hobby? Cause I’ve got a few choice words for the dude if it is.
Yeah, but if the universe was some giant simulation being played by some kind of super-being (post-human, post-uberchimp, whatever) on a computer big enough to create a whole universe, don’t…
Revenge of the font nerd
Alltop can’t stop looking at everyone’s leading.
The Old Spaghettification Swimmin’ Hole
Stephen Newton was in love. From his hiding place, he watched her disrobe and gracefully dive into the old swimming hole. Her alabaster skin shimmered under the water like some…
Mash-up apotheosis?
I believe that John Hodgman may have achieved the apotheosis of Internet-type mash-ups. The following YouTube clip is video evidence of Dana Gould, doing his impersonation of Maurice Evans, portraying…
A Valentine’s Day gift to remember
The year is 1952. After discovering the patent for Michael Flannigan’s infamous “Mammary Sympathizer” in a back issue of 19th Century Inventions That Could Have Been Less Offensive, early Emily…
Surreal Morning
I hate it when the day starts off non-Euclidian, and then just gets weirder. It’s a straight line to humor at Alltop.
Ask General Kang: Should I be afraid of the semicolon?
Do you mean the form of punctuation, or what happens to your lower intestines after you’ve eaten improperly prepared Thringian Gitworm sashimi? Because if you’ve eaten bad ThriGit sashimi, and…
Survival Tips for Tiny and Polite Humans
If you happen to live on one of the many planets inhabited by CEOs, you may find yourself wondering: “how do I not get eaten?” You may also wonder if…
A Short History of Groundhog Day
On February 2, it is customary in Canada and the United States to celebrate an annual tradition wherein we allow a chubby burrowing rodent to forecast the weather. This is…
The Unit Upgrade
“Mr. President, we have to talk about the unit.” “What unit, Minister?” “Remember the regiment that was forgotten in the Peltarsh Mountains?” “Right. The unit of horse archers. Did we…
The technological singularity: possible outcomes
I think I would enjoy the (bad) technological singularity a bit more if it went down like this. It’s almost sweet, a giant robot in a sundress, destroying a suburb…
Kurt Vonnegut’s Only Rule
via Tumblr.
The modern primate
via Tumblr.
Making America better, one bullet at a time
This genius premise is sick, but funny. I really liked Joel Murray on Mad Men.
Orwell: The Prevention of Literature
“In our age, the idea of intellectual liberty is under attack from two directions. On the one side are its theoretical enemies, the apologists of totalitarianism, and on the other…