Peter Pan: Worst Spaceman Ever
Alltop is the lost boy of humor.
mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys
Ask General Kang: Are there pirates where you come from?
You’re lookin’ at one, matey. Ye don’t become an evil intergalactic overlord by inheritin’ the job, ye know. (Actually, Blugnarsh the Bloody did actually take over from his father, Bloodwash…
March of the Angry, Fuming, Vengeful Penguins
Suzie loved penguins, ever since her first trip to the zoo. She’d tell her mother every night, “oh I wish I could see a funny, awkward, goofy penguin, again Mummy.…
Solar storms spur huge aurora borealis
Here’s some time-lapse video taken in Norway of the auroras caused by the solar flares. Gorgeous. And here’s a pic from of the Aurora Australis … from space! Taken by…
Ad hominem rules for writing
drooling pinheads open their stories with the weather, or a prologue fatuous knobs use the passive voice corpulent prose-pederasts use a verb other than “said” to carry dialog (and only…
Opinionated inanimate objects
I love these cartoons by Marc Johns — I hope he does many more. That’s not toasting, that’s typing! Fezzes have notoriously high standards. I agree, but the Google Font…
Vermeer’s Girl With Funky Hat About to Be Sucked Into A Naked Singularity
Few people know the Dutch painter Johannes Vermeer had an advanced understanding of modern physics, but only alluded to it in some of his works because he dare not reveal…
Shall I compare thee, in chart form, to a summer’s day
Yes, yes I shall you diminutive, lovely, and crazy person. Alltop loves a good stifle.
The all-gas mask revival of Hamlet
The 1937 all-gas mask revival of Hamlet at the Birmingham Repertory Theatre would have probably gone down in the annals of theatre history as the best all-gas mask production —…
Not totally worthless: why videos go viral (on YouTube)
Factoids that stuck out for me: more than 48 hours of video uploaded to YouTube every minute the speaker, Kevin Allocca, is paid to watch this crap cats watching cats…
How politicians explain the stock market
The stock market — also known as the greed-fear cycle. Alltop prefers the lust-sloth cycle.
Problems on the home front
Everybody knew that Mission Control was a total tramp, but nobody had the heart to tell Sad Spaceman. Alltop likes directing from the ground too.
Censorship in Canada, 2010-2011
Think censorship doesn’t happen in Canada? It does, though rarely. There are, however, many attempts at censorship, and it is something we have to be on guard for at all…
Humor: an evolutionary explanation
Humans have evolved to have a sense of humor — sorry, most humans have evolved to have a sense of humor because it helps us deal with: the vast indifference…
In the ancient days
The Internet didn’t help this pact much either Alltop thinks it can catch light too.
Dreamscapes: The Stars Go Out
In the dream, we know something is wrong when I notice the constellations have all disappeared. All that remains in the night sky is the deep black of space, and…
Online surveillance satisfaction team
The best part of good customer service is anticipating problems and solving them BEFORE they happen. Alltop likes to watch.
My two favourite David Lean edits
I know, regular readers of The Skwib will be thinking: “what hell? This no funny!” (With the proper grammar, of course.) But with this new look, I’m also branching out…