Ask General Kang: How do I keep my New Year’s resolutions?
We had a similar custom on my homeworld, Neecknaw, but there we called them Slorg Wishes. Slorg was once the Overlord of our planet, back in the Taupe Ages —…
mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys
Sad about the singularity?
Is this robot really sad? Or is it just celebrating the technological singularity it its own quiet way? I don’t want to project onto this robot. Maybe he’s programmed to…
Let the toaster revolution begin
Yeah, these guys really need to read my new book, The Fridgularity. The good folks at SigFox are planning to connect everything to the Internet. Where’s the harm in that?…
Ask General Kang: How was your technological singularity?
That is a revealing assumption, my good human buddy. What makes you think there was a technological singularity on my home planet of Neecknaw? Well, doesn’t every advanced technological society…
Forty-seven signs of the apocalypse (#31)
From the Book of the Blessed Pie It shall come to pass that the Pharisees of the Hut will take the Blessed Pie and unto it they shall do wicked…
From now on: every mash-up includes Star Wars
Is it me, or is Mr. Vader a bit shorter than he used to be? Alltop used to work at that lightsabre facility.
A moment of gritty reflection
Delores always liked to take a few moments between shows and get a little alone time. Of late the circus had been touring in the Southwest and they’d seen lots…
But how do you get the cats to sing on key?
Alltop uses bagpipes whenever its torturing other humor aggregators.
Last chance to get Pirate Therapy free on Kindle: today and tomorrow
This is the last time I’ll be giving Pirate Therapy and Other Cures away for free, so download it while you can. If you don’t have a Kindle, there’s lots…
At least it’s not field hockey
Jenna hated physical education. All the girls stared at her in the change-room (she was one of the first to develop), and her hand-eye coordination was rotten. Reaping class, on…
Want cyborg teddy!
Early efforts at creating a human-machine hybrid were unsuccessful. The subject did not gain any of the benefits of cyborgism — extended lifespan, bone-crushing strength, heightened mental faculties — and…
Little Cindi Cyborg
The best part about the Little Cindi Cyborg doll was that it was a great way to teach kids responsibility. Not only was each Little Cindi Cyborg semi-sentient, she was…
Truculent Guitar Blastocyte
Sister Mary Xtron the Destroyer and her accompanist, Sister Mary Catherine Crudlik-Pamby (of the Space Ship BingePowder) will be in the Trans-Vatican this week for a limited engagement, entertaining His…
Giganto-Schism
While the people of St. Tropezia were still somewhat bemused by the dire calamities promised by the Trans-Catholic Church, they found themselves drawn irresistibly to the gigantic women of their…
Pete and Dud: Aversion Therapy
I thought another sketch from these guys may be in order: Alltop is aversion therapy for boredom.
When a man loves a woman very, very much…
This cartoon on SMBC reminded me of this Dudley Moore, Peter Cook sketch: The Facts of Life. (Sorry, YouTube wouldn’t let me embed it.) Alltop still believes in storks.
Always look at the fine print
Yeah, but can the lawyer turn itself into a little blue monkey? Alltop only sees little blue monkeys when it laughs.
Film Review: Transfer
Like all good science fiction, Transfer takes one technological change and hypothesizes what that would mean for society. And it does so very well. The new technology is a process…
Dr. Tundra enters a bar …
Dr. Tundra enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender, with great drink-making and conversational algorithms, but no facial or voice-recognition software. The robot serves…