Niceness is the recognition of grace over substance. Niceness is the recognition of approach versus fact. Niceness is the social system of hypocritical suppression of negativity (fair or not) towards individual members. Niceness expects you to curb any dispositions or objective standards you have in order to support the emotional insecurity of certain members.
“Be nice”, “That’s not not nice” or “That’s mean” are things you’ve probably heard. And not just from infants. Meanness is the standard of a child, passed off as legitimate even now, when you’re expected to be grown up. Meanness and lack-of-niceness are entirely unaccountable ways of criticizing someone; doesn’t rely on revealing erroneous actions or statements from someone, or points out a unreasonable sentiment someone expressed – the only thing that “meanness” requires is you made someone feel bad. There’s no reason to explain yourself, all you have to proclaim is that hurts.
Niceness the the social model where immaturity is rewarded, and actively defended. The type of people that benefit from this model are the ones least accustomed to the reality of the world, while being actively supported in their ignorance. Substance of complaints or comments is irrelevant if someone cries “Be nice!”, and thus allows the complaint or criticism to be dismissed merely on the basis of it might hurt their feelings.
It’s implicit in certain sub-cultures to support the least mature members, and is often effective at that goal. Immaturity begets immaturity. The ones who decry “That’s not nice!” the most will gain favour with others with similar insecurity, and perhaps they’ll get the unaccountable defense from them at one point. Gain favours with others, and you’ll benefit yourself. It’s a self-perpetuated and systemic model that attempts to suppress particular approaches. Successfully, in many cases.
The superficial and hollowness of niceness is easily appealing to those juvenile. And as juvenile goes, it’s often repeated. Feigned compliments will drive many teenagers to favour of the interlocutor, or even a mere defense of them could gain preference. If the standard is merely how you feel (which it is), then how could it possibly be silly for you to automatically favour the people just because they refrain from anything that makes you feel bad? Of course it’s not, when your standard is shallow superficiality.
Despite claims to the otherwise, niceness is a extraordinary selfish and unaccountable defense to anything. If your feelings are the only standard you have for certain speech or criticisms being bad, then you’re avoiding any meaningful or thoughtful stance. It’s the visceral reaction and selfish attitude that allows niceness to especially flourish among some members. Throw away real reasoning, and take the side of reactionary.
