Well, this latest antic from the Harpercons, specifically, pitbull Johnny Baird, could fall under a few files: austerity for thee but not for me, do as I say and not as I do, Liberal Derangement Syndrome and removing all signs of Canadian identity.
Yes, boys ‘n’ girls, Pitbull Johnny has ordered up the rolls royce of business cards for hisself. gold inked and embossed, complete with coat of arms, with, get this, no mandatory “Canada” watermark and…it gets better…the “Lester B Pearson Building” has been removed from the address. I’m not kidding. In fact, the removal of the “Canada” watermark, as well as the gold coat of arms, has made so many bureaucrats nervous, because, well, it breaks rules, that, well, tune in:
Said another: “The (gold) coloured coat of arms and the removal of the Canada wordmark is not a good practice.”
And another: “None of these additional requests follow the TBS (Treasury Board Secretariat) rules. … Although we can certainly continue to advise and express our concerns, we will not be able to hold off on these for long.”
Nervous public servants went so far as to draw up a “disclaimer” sheet to be signed by Mr. Baird’s chief of staff that would formally acknowledge the minister’s office was advised against the measures.
The disclaimer noted that Treasury Board over the years has revised standards, dropping some expensive practices: “Among the casualties were the costly and difficult practices of using gold foil or full colour reproductions of the Arms of Canada on ministerial stationery.”
Before I go on, I would just like to explain what you, the tax payer, are paying for. I worked as an estimator in the printing business. It was my job to calculate the costs of each project, while trying to find a way to complete the project with the least waste of material as we had to charge the client for this waste, finding supplier and if necessary, finding a sub-contractor. Then, of course, writing up the quote. When I call these cards the “Rolls Royce”, I do mean cost. For openers, gold ink, like any metallic coloured ink is the most expensive. It has to be special ordered as it has to be specially mixed. Embossing, particularly with gold (or silver or any colour for that matter) foiling, is also expensive as there is a special machine and the ‘cut-outs’ have to be custom designed and programmed to the machine. Also, you can’t use just any card stock for embossing. In other words, a pretty expensive stock would have to be used. One can’t use the commonly used, inexpensive stock, as it could be damaged by the machine. Remember, you’re working on space that is pretty small (I’m assuming that it’s standard business card size of 2″ x 3.5″). Due to the embossing, usually that portion of the job would have to be sub-contracted out as most print shops don’t have this equipment and companies who have this specialty tend to be few and far between. Generally, these are companies that would specialize in book jackets and covers, certificates and diplomas, and greeting cards; that sort of thing. Hence, austerity for thee but not for me.
Let’s take a look at the costs. Compare and contrast:
Foreign Affairs soon printed two types, one without gold embossing, with English on one side and French on the verso, for $197.75.
The other has gold embossing on a mostly unilingual English card, with the reverse blank, for $424.88. Quantities are blacked out in the released documents to protect commercial confidences.
Imagine that! Recto-verso generally is more costly as with some older printers, a double pass may be required. Plus recto-verso, in this case requires different graphics, in this case, different text–French on one side; English on the other. However, since the standard cards don’t require any foiling, embossing, or special stock, it’s cheaper. Besides, you can’t do recto-verso with embossing for obvious reasons.
Back to the festivities. Imagine! Those nervous bureaucrats had to make the pitbull sign a waiver! I can just imagine how that went down. I would’ve loved to have been a fly on the wall for that scene! Those minions rushing around nervously with waivers in the pitbull’s face and the pitbull snarling at them demanding “What the hell is that?”
Apparently, even Stevie Spiteful follows the rules for his business cards:
It added: “The wordmark (Canada) is a requirement for ministers, parliamentary secretaries and their offices. … It is worth noting that the prime minister and his office follow these standards.”
Hoo Ha! So, the standard business cards without gold embossing and do have the mandatory “Canada” watermark are good enough for Stevie Spiteful but not good enough for Pitbull Johnny?
So, in short, the building where the pitbull works is no longer called the Lester B Pearson building, after all, what good Harpercon could bear the idea of working in a building named after a Liberal Prime Minister? Can’t have “Canada” indicated anywhere, not even on the business cards. No French on these cards neither; no trace of la belle province or it’s language and culture– let’s remember the pitbull did take down the two paintings from Quebec artist Alfred Pellan that were hanging in his office since 1973 and replaced them with paintings of the Queen.
As for the pitbull hisself, well, perhaps he’d like his tiara polished every morning?
While Stevie Spiteful may have followed protocol for the business cards, he too, has shown disdain for the French language and la Belle Province time and again and even recently when he hired Angie Perischilli. No, hiring Andre Bachand doesn’t make up for it. Sure he’s pushing a bill to prevent those who prevent the hanging of the Canadian flag, but, this is mostly an excercise in symbolism and bullying. How long will it take before he has everyone singing “God Save the Queen” at hockey games and other such events?