Current research in developmental psychology shows that if caretakers allow a toddler to assert more control over what they do, there are definite benefits to the child’s autonomy, self-reliance and confidence. They took this principle entirely too far at the … Continue reading →
Continue readingTag: Toulouse Le Grandfig
mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Butterscotch Pie
Cecil and Barton were locked in a gentlemen’s psycho-drama that ammunition could not solve. How it had begun, neither could say. Perhaps it had to do with one of them sleeping with the other’s mother, or sister, or perhaps it … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: March of the Angry, Fuming, Vengeful Penguins
Suzie loved penguins, ever since her first trip to the zoo. She’d tell her mother every night, “oh I wish I could see a funny, awkward, goofy penguin, again Mummy. I love them SO!” “One day we’ll go back to … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: The all-gas mask revival of Hamlet
The 1937 all-gas mask revival of Hamlet at the Birmingham Repertory Theatre would have probably gone down in the annals of theatre history as the best all-gas mask production — of any play — if the director, Sir Albert Fezbinder … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: The Encounter
Dolores had the sudden intimation that the peyote breakfast milkshake was probably a mistake. Alltop drinks your milkshake. The Encounter, a photo by Modest Janicki (Modest and Jill) on Flickr.
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: The Old Spaghettification Swimmin’ Hole
Stephen Newton was in love. From his hiding place, he watched her disrobe and gracefully dive into the old swimming hole. Her alabaster skin shimmered under the water like some kind of glorious she-fish, her hair a jet-streamed collection of … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: A Valentine’s Day gift to remember
The year is 1952. After discovering the patent for Michael Flannigan’s infamous “Mammary Sympathizer” in a back issue of 19th Century Inventions That Could Have Been Less Offensive, early Emily Chesley enthusiasts Barry Tickson and Orson Flatbread (both citizens of … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Survival Tips for Tiny and Polite Humans
If you happen to live on one of the many planets inhabited by CEOs, you may find yourself wondering: “how do I not get eaten?” You may also wonder if there is sunblock powerful enough to prevent dermal incineration when … Continue reading →
Continue readingThe Skwib: Octopuses’ Garden
Peter Stumbersby was a devotee of the Browning Diving Suit, though for some time he had owned an original Flannigan Breathing Apparatus (it almost killed him.) Neither of these submersible garments were cheap to maintain. The Browning Suit, especially, got a little funky, as he insisted on wearing it even
Continue readingThe Skwib: The Merchant Banker Awards
Thorsson had a very small but fanatically loyal client base. They especially liked his aggressive stance vis-a-vis derivatives and lopping the heads off of their competition. Alltop enjoys credit-swap de-cranialization. Originally published January 2007. Thanks to Hans S for the skull-splittingly good photo. More of Toulouse Le Grandfig’s work can
Continue readingThe Skwib: The Future Is Frenzied
Professor Albedo-9000 Frink (the Third) was justifiably proud of his invention. It had taken him nearly 300 years of his genetically enhanced life to construct the Frink Dojigger 12. (Experimental models 1-11 proved un-viable.) Using only the finest Moussorgsky rodent filaments and all the heavy element Poutinium available in the Liquid Fermentation Galaxy, he had […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: The Halloween Feast of Madness Bird
Say what you will about Marge and Delia, but they served a mean turkey dinner. Sure they might have been witches. Sure, they tended to use a little too much salt when they were cooking. (Probably from all the dehydrated eye of newt, which is very high in sodium, but they could never seem to […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Star-crossed lovers
1960 … formerly unknown Mexican sci-fi!, a photo by x-ray delta one on Flickr. The being had crossed all of known space to find her, Lola LaBozla, the smartest woman on Earth. It had tracked her from Earth orbit using the prototype of her own wearable artificial intelligence unit and spaghetti cleanser (AIUSC), that while […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Arrow Shirts, for the lady’s head fancier
1947—Nice spot to be in -Arrow – by Coby Whitmore, a photo by x-ray delta one on Flickr. Copy: Do you enjoy the luxuriant feel of a decapitated head? Then put yourself in an Arrow shirt; that one-and-only Arrow Collar won’t do you a bit of harm, nor will its Mitoga shaped-to-your-shape fit. Every Arrow […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: A middle year satori
Beauty is relative, a photo by True_Bavarian on Flickr. At a certain point in your life, you realize that you are who you are. That isn’t to say that your life won’t change. Of course it will change. So will your personality, but not in big ways. If you’re an introvert, you’re not going to […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: A Robot Regrets
Meeptron the Bio-Destruction Bot looked out at the wasteland that once was Peoria and thought that his work had actually made it look nicer. Of course, he was programmed that way, so he couldn’t really help it. He thought about that little Red Juggernaut he’d met on Robo-Leave that summer. Gloria. Yes, sweet Gloria. She […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Everyone’s a critic
Hank didn’t care that act had won the Most Unconvincing Bear Award six years running. He had been practicing on his flugelhorn, and he was sure that this season would be different. The crowds were going to love the new routine: the breathtaking flugel-glissandos, the ursine feel to the dance, and his hat. God, they […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Taking one for the team
It seemed unlikely that Janet was an “anthrax tester” for the Department of Defense, as she claimed. It just didn’t seem possible that she could snort a gram of weaponized splenic fever each and every hour for weeks on end and not show any effects. (Apart from the tremors, vertigo, muscle twitches & paranoia.) For […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Stiff Upper, and So Forth
“I have London on the line, sir.” “What do they want?” “They’re asking about the penguins.” “The penguins?” “Yes, remember, penguins is the codeword . . .” “For what?!” “You know, sir, the uh, devices . . . the prophylactics. . .” “The prophylactics?! What the hell is that supposed to be?” “Oh, sir, please. […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: The Smears of a Clown
They were never going to give him a Nobel Prize for Buffoonery. The Pulizer committee had told him in no uncertain terms that there wasn’t a category for astonishingly narrow, rakishly worn top hats. And he’d been shut out of the Oscars for years, even though the critics had not condemned his broad portrayal of […]
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