Uh oh. Hold the fruit salad. It turns out Stephen Harper’s obsession with everything royal isn’t just another moment of madness. It’s part of a Con Master Plan to lead us bravely into the future. By marching us back to the&nbs…
Continue readingTag: The Great Darkness
Montreal Simon: The Harper Cons and the Long Way Down
When I think of how the little Con gnome Jimbo Flaherty is bringing the economy down to his level. But doesn’t want us to worry.Even though once again he didn’t see it coming, and he doesn’t know what he’s doing. When I think about how the&nb…
Continue readingMontreal Simon: The Case of Tony Clement and the Muskoka Millions
Golly Sherlock. I see the strange case of Tony Clement and the Muskoka Millions has taken another sensational and porky turn.Inspector Angus may finally have solved the baffling mystery of how Tony-o, Boss Harper’s favourite hitman, mana…
Continue readingMontreal Simon: Big Steve Wants Your Computer
It’s bad enough living in Stephen Harper’s Canada. The darkness. The insanity. The double think. Those cold dead eyes that seem to follow you around. Jason Kenney. The horror. The horror.But trust me eh? If Big Steve Brother …
Continue readingMontreal Simon: The London Riots: When Anger Burns
You may have noticed that London is burning. The flames of anger are spreading .The violence, which began in Tottenham, north London, on Saturday spread south and east to Brixton, Streatham, Walthamstow, Edmonton, Enfield, Oxford Circus and Isling…
Continue readingMontreal Simon: Preparing for the Greatest Recession
It was another hot and humid day in Hogtown. But that didn’t stop me from running down to the golden towers of Bay Street. I wanted to see if the brokers and other stock stuffers were jumping out of the windows after another bad day…
Continue readingMontreal Simon: Jimbo Flaherty and the Championship Belt
Holy hobbit. How ironic eh? There was little Jimbo Flaherty the other day at Rob Ford’s millionaire redneck BBQ. Being hee hawed as a financial genius, and awarded a “Finance Minister’s Championship Belt” by the Fordz…
Continue readingMontreal Simon: How to Give Toronto a Touch of Class Again
Well now we know that when he’s not flipping the bird at people, or belching loudly, Rob Ford can shake his massive butt in the street. As long as it isn’t at a gay event.Even though Pride Week brings at least five times as much money into the cit…
Continue readingMontreal Simon: Stephen Harper’s Horrible Summer Makeover
OMG. I knew Stephen Harper was spending his summer trying to be transformed from Great Ugly Leader into Mr Nice Fuhrer.After forgetting himself at the Redneck Stampede, and revealing his ball crushing plans for total Canadian domination.“Un…
Continue readingMontreal Simon: The Invasion of the Con Apes
It seems like they are everywhere these days. Con apes on a rampage. Smelling their armpits, and shocking the world.In Norway they are still counting their losses after one right wing monkey killed dozens of people. While his foul furry trainers l…
Continue readingMontreal Simon: Stephen Harper and the Politics of Punishment
Every now and then he betrays himself. Every now and then the mask falls off and exposes the monster behind it.Like when he woke up one morning and decided to gut the census. For no sane reason.Or when he plans to jail even more Canadians, especia…
Continue readingMontreal Simon: How to Stay Alive in Harperland
One of the things you notice right away when you return from almost any modern country in the world, is the crumbling state of our infrastructure.In Toronto, giant pieces of concrete regularly fall off this elevated expressway, not too far from where I…
Continue readingMontreal Simon: Time to Say Goodbye For Now
I realize it’s probably not the best time to leave Canada. Canadian summers are so short eh?But the truth is I can’t wait to leave, because politically speaking this has been the worst summer EVAH. First the Cons got a majority, and then it started to …
Continue readingMontreal Simon: Stopping the Cons: How Far Will Canadians Go?
Well I see the great postal filibuster has ended. The NDP has surrendered to reality. The union-bashing Cons got what they wanted. The workers were shafted. And the Liberals looked lame.But at least the workers were grateful.And at least the …
Continue readingMontreal Simon: When the Con Party Animals Go Wild
Lardy. Bean me with a bacon bit…or a Vienna sausage. They don’t call them Con hogs for nothing eh? But who knew they were such party animals?
Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s own department has repeatedly broken the government’s toug…
Continue readingMontreal Simon: The Con Bigots and the Rainbow Chasers
It was a grey and rainy Monday, so imagine how great it was to stumble home from work, and see this beautiful rainbow streaming down on my island.
Especially since I know that a sight like that must drive these rainbow chasers CRAZY.
A…
Continue readingMontreal Simon: Stephen Harper’s Plans for World Domination
Well it wasn’t Nuremberg. It was Ottawa. But the message from Great Deranged Leader to his adoring followers was the same. Now that we have conquered Germany Canada, we must conquer the WORLD !!!!!!
Harper painted a dark picture of the w…
Continue readingMontreal Simon: The Con Hogs and the Road to Resistance
Well at least now nobody can deny what lying hogs they are.
So the G8 legacy for Baird and Clement is complete — pork barreling, deceit and promotions.
Toronto’s G20 legacy is still unfolding, but it will include heavy-handed police…
Continue readingMontreal Simon: Stephen Harper and Curse of Stanley
Oh dear. I see Stephen Harper jetted off with his entourage to Boston today, to try to revive the flagging fortunes of the Vancouver Canucks. Only to curse them further.
And stick us with the hefty gas bill.
Harper spokesperson Dimitri …
Continue readingMontreal Simon: Stephen Harper and Brigette’s Message
Well I see the legend of Brigette DePape continues to grow, like a red rose of hope in the darkness of Harperland.
““I have been really inspired because there have been thousands of people who have sent messages or commented …
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