Henry rode with Death his entire life, but it never really cramped his style. For the most part, other people couldn’t see Death, hanging on his coat-tails wherever he went, and whatever he did. It was usually the very old … Continue reading →
Continue readingTag: Skwibby fiction
mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Protected: A Reluctant Emcee
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Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: The loneliness of the long distance rabbit
The stats were daunting. The average breeding season for rabbits is 9 months (10 in Newfoundland). Gestation time is 30 days. Each litter produces somewhere between 4 to 12 kits (baby rabbits). It takes 4 to 5 weeks to wean … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Ancient Egyptian Pepperpot Ladies
[Mrs. Beset is washing her cat in the Nile, when Mrs. Knouphis enters, carrying a papyrus-reed basket, filled with jars of human organs.] Mrs. Knouphis: “‘Allo Mrs. Beset.” Mrs. Beset: “‘Allo Mrs. Knouphis.” K: “‘Av you ‘eard about that Mrs. … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Short Fiction: Jesussic Park
Jesus was visiting a lost valley that was reputed to hold a few holy men who separated themselves from the rest of the world so they could better understand the nature of God. He was hoping to talk to them … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: The Sarcastic Cyborg Debriefs
[recording starts] Is this thing on? Seriously. Is it on? I’m not getting any neural feedback. You humans are so odd. You are human aren’t you? Why don’t you just implant a microphone in your scull — there’s lots of … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: La dolce vita
It wasn’t always so easy. There used to be an anger in him. An emptiness that nothing could fill … nothing material anyway. He fell through time and space, and into a kind of dream. And it seemed as though … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: It’s morning in the Singularity
Bob was not a happy cyborg. He’d had to skip is plasma bath and neural detox that morning because his dick of a boss, a narcissistic self-sustaining photosynthetic artificial intelligence named TODD-bot, needed him to come to work early. And … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Piracy 101
A tall, strong and heavily muscled man enters the lecture hall; his nut-brown face is marred by a saber cut across one cheek. It has left a dirty, livid white scar that practically glows out of his dark face. He’s … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Going cold turkey in The Fridgularity
For some characters the sudden disappearance of the Internet in The Fridgularity frees them from their addiction. (For others, it’s a challenge recovering from their habits.) This is a scene in which the two main characters, Blake and Lyca, go &#…
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Rebranding Thor in the Age of Facebook
The account rep jumped right into it: “we’re thrilled to have your account, but I’m afraid your numbers are down since our initial chat.” “You’re kiddin’ me.” “I’m afraid not, and I don’t wa…
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Clown Apocalypse: The Clownsickle
One of the worst things about the clown apocalypse was just sorting out the sick from the opportunistic psycho-killers, who used the disaster to cover their own heinous activities. Many victims of these clown psychos, or clownsickles, as they are … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Truculent Guitar Blastocyte
Sister Mary Xtron the Destroyer and her accompanist, Sister Mary Catherine Crudlik-Pamby (of the Space Ship BingePowder) will be in the Trans-Vatican this week for a limited engagement, entertaining His Hyper-Holiness, The Trans-Dimensional RoboPope, Lexnor Innocent III, and his Death … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Cheese Pyrates! Revenge of the Crimson Parrots
It were 2011, and a year had passed since the Le Fromage de Satan had sunk our frigate with an exploding cheese, killing all hands except for meself, Jim Quinn, and the chef’s assistant, Paul Le Whisk. Arrr! Le Whisk … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Cheese Pyrates!
The year were 2011 and I joined the Navy for one reason alone — to get me vengeance on Le Fromage de Satan, and her scurvy master, Captain Jacques LaBung. LaBung and his crew of plugged-up sea-dogs were known all … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Municipal Investment Strategies for the Technological Singularity
An Open Letter to Town Council Dear Councilors: Your town may have an emergency plan, a development plan, a health plan — it may even have a plan for how to fix the potholes (though I doubt it). But does … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: An Open Letter to John Hodgman, Minor Celebrity
Dear Judge John Hodgman, I would normally never bother a minor celebrity, but I have a warning to pass along. It may save your life. Last night I had a rather disturbing dream. It felt prophetic, though I hope it … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Clown Apocalypse: Buffoonibilism
This isn’t terrifying is it? He looks kinda fun, right? Sure, up until the point he starts to eat your face. One of the mutations of the Bozo Virus that was most horrifying was the one that caused Buffoonabilism, a … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Clown Apocalypse: The Sexy Cataclysm
The Clown Apocalypse was not universally grim, unless you were coulrophobe with a debilitating fear of clowns. Apart from the moments of hilarity you’d sometimes get when you saw someone who was previously uncoordinated juggling while riding a unicycle, or … Continue reading →
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