Tag: Skwibby fiction
mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: New sect of Pastafarians believes it is Vikings, not pirates, that cause global warming
London, Ontario (The Skwib) — The first schism within the Pastafarian religion has appeared in the sleepy Canadian city of London, Ontario, and it is led by the charismatic preacher Dr. Maximilian Tundra. “Other worshipers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Hello, My Name Is Indigo Montoya
Billy was up to three packs a day, but it was okay; he was in training for the All-Tar Olympics. His coach said he was a natural, and he had several lucrative endorsements even before he won any medals. He … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Cindy and The Ravens
When the talking ravens had appeared, introducing themselves as Hugin and Munin, naturally everyone had been astonished. They could speak English, several Scandinavian languages, and a tongue not heard in a thousand years, though a few scholars recognized it as … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Blogger ponders on things instead of musing about them
LONDON, Ontario (The Skwib) — The web is still reeling from the revelation that a blogger has been pondering things instead of musing about them. “Yeah, I’ve spent a lot of time musing, in fact, the tagline from my blog … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Dr. Tundra versus the flashmob zombies
Dr. Maximilian Tundra had never felt so paranoid. Earlier that day he’d lost his medical license; luckily, he also had a PhD in biochemistry, so he would still get everyone call him “doctor”. But it was the loss of easy … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Thag Go Grunka Gathering!
Everyone at the Grunka Gathering was in good spirits, except Thag. Every fifth or sixth summer, depending on the position of the stars, all of the Grunka clans would gather and share their stories, swap items (sometimes mates too) and … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Thag not like politcs!
Thag had made his decision — he was not taking Onga back, even if the shaman, Weasel-Scratch-Face-Brother, insisted. Thag could see why Weasel wanted him to take her back; Onga was driving the shaman crazy. The flesh-pole with ears shaman … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Thag not wear hair gel!
If he were honest, Thag would say that his affair with the nubile Vunga, the half-daughter of the shaman, could not last forever. Not only was she was at least ten years younger, but eventually the Thunka Grunka clan would … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: The Bellerephon Problem
After murdering his brother for eating all the Cheetos, Bellerephon was exiled from Corinth. (A city famed for its Elvis impersonators and Class 5 Full-Roaming Vapor Ghosts.) Then his luck turned for the worse. Avoiding the mechanized Probe-a-trons sent by … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Thag scared at that time of month!
Thag whistled while he packed for the next trip. He liked to organize short hunting expeditions for a certain week of the month — even if there was little chance of finding game — as it was a good idea … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Thag do meditation!
Every morning before they started the hunt, Thag would sit down away from the others, close his eyes, and listen to the wind. It was more than that, but that is what he told the other hunters. Really what he … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Thag want be millionaire!
It had been an unlucky hunting season. First of all, their big man, Grunk, got himself gored by a woolly rhinoceros in the first week of the expedition. Grunk — always the big swinging dick that Grunk — had tried … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Thag brain not hear, honey
“Thag, don’t forget to bring home that chunk of mammoth meat you left to hang in the forest.” No response from Thag, who is knapping flint with his whacker. He is making more flint arrowheads to replace all of those … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Thag make sex toy!
Thag was preparing himself for a long hunting trip. He’d already sharpened his fire-hardened spear, and collected fresh grasses for insulating his clothes and moccasins. The last thing he needed to do was cut himself a fresh set of knives … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: An Outraged Diner Emails the In-Vitro Café
From: wally42@yaboo.com To: owner@invitrocafe.com Subject: Suing your restaurant Dear Proprietor, My wife and I managed to get a table at the grand opening of your establishment last night, and we regret our effort. We are both conscientious eaters, so the … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Daisy, Daisy, Call on the Cthulu
At first, everyone was really excited when Daisy Stagbys joined the Brighton Cycling Society. She was young, hot, and had a four-seater. And then, when she suggested that she had some “friends” who would love to be involved, they were … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: If on a Summer’s Day, a Fridgularity
You are reading a blog posting about Mark A. Rayner’s most recent book, The Fridgularity. You had been hoping to find a funny picture, and maybe a microfiction that played off that image, but instead, you find yourself reading another … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Nosferadude
Vampire fiction was my education. It was all I was allowed to sink my teeth into when I was young. And when I was just a little boy, I loved it. My mom introduced me to the vampire Lestat, and … Continue reading →
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